Saturday, October 31, 2009

We Had A Blast in Port A!

Tony and I got back this afternoon, and we had so much fun! I am pooped from having so much fun, and I promise to write about it tomorrow. Happy Halloween!

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

We're Heading Your Way, Rick And Leisa, John, and Pete and Kelly!

Today has been one whirlwind of a day! As I write this blog, I have clothes washing in Queen Bee, for our mini-vacation tomorrow, and Ry Cooder is singing, Jesus On The Mainline! It's a great song, and I love Ry Cooder!

This morning was normal. I fed the dogs and cat, did the walk, did paperwork, talked to Kinky before he jetted off to Odessa, Texas, etc. I made Moo Goo Gai Pan for lunch, and Tone cleaned his plate. Then I cleaned his plate. Then we took off for Kerrville to run errands, and to pick Hank up from Hoegemeyers, because he had to have three teeth pulled!

Our first stop was at Wolfmueller's Books to visit with Sandy and Jon! We had a fun visit with them, and just before we were leaving, Sandy and Jon surprised me with a fantastic gift! They gave me a huge picture on poster board, of Kinky's book jacket, for Kinky' Friedman's Celebrity Pet Files, that Simon and Schuster had sent to them for promotional purposes! "Nancy," Sandy said. "Because Beckham is in the picture when he was a baby, Jon and I want you to have it!" I was speechless and thrilled! "Put it in your Space Ship or your writing cabin or in the trailer!"

After running a few more errands, we picked up Hank! He was so happy to see us, but not as happy as we were to see him! He has to be on three kinds of medications, and should be just fine in a few days!

As soon as we walked into the trailer with Hank, my sister, Cindy was on the phone talking to Carlton, "I got my fishing license last night, and I am at H.E.B. buying some groceries for our trip. Is there anything I can pick up for..."

"Hi Cindy! I just walked in the trailer and..." After talking to Cindy about our trip tomorrow to Port Aransas, I decided to talk to Tone. Instead of half-hollering down the hall, like I usually do, I went online to iChat and gave him a ring. Tone answered on the second ring. "T., Cindy just told me that she got her fishing license, and she is going to fish! I need to go to Medina right now to get a fishing license, before the Medina Hardware closes. Do you want to go?"

Three minutes later, Buttermilk was taking us to Medina! When we arrived at the Medina Ace Hardware store, we went inside, and we were greeted by three friendly men, standing at the counter. "Hi Tony and Cousin Nancy. What do y'all need today?"

"I'm fixin' to go fishing, and I need a fishing license for the ocean," I said. "We're going to Port A. tomorrow!" A couple of minutes later, after having to give this nice man my social security number, it puzzled me why they needed that personal information on me, to possibly try to catch, kiss and release a fish, which I felt sounded really fishy, and not necessary at all, and I felt it was none of our goverment's business as to where I'm fishing or where anyone else is fishing in this country. It made me mad and then it really scared me and made me sad.

I did get my license to catch and release the Gulf of Mexico fish, and I am sure that I am now in some government computer, which is really sad to me. I was thrilled that I didn't have to take a vision test to cast away, which was good, because I had left my 'useless,' one hundred and fifty dollar bifocals at the trailer, sitting on the kitchen table, to collect dust, while I was wearing my cheaters!

When Tony and I came home, we got to packing! As soon as our clothes are dry, in a few more minutes, I think we are ready, set, go to Port A. I am sure that I will have forgotten something important to bring along, but that's okay.

We're taking both of our computers, four cameras, two iPods, two iPod Touches, the portable Bose iDock system, my guitar, two of Tone's rods and reels, and my pink rod and reel, and some comfort food.

The dryer, Airy Queen, just beeped, to let me know his work is done. I need to go fold clothes now, and pack our Duffel bag. We're leaving here around seven-thirty tomorrow morning, and I am going to have to do The Harley Show live from the road at 7:45!

Ben will be holding down the fort, along with Todd and Jan, while we are gone. Thank you, Ben, Todd and Jan! We couldn't have done it without you!

Y'all have a great evening!

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

The Invisible Woman!

Yesterday was pretty uneventful, until around six, in the evening. By six-thirty, Tony and I had a forty-eight hour vacation planned! And, it's going to be a blast!

Our dear friend, Rick, had invited Tone and me to come down, and he told us to invite a few friends to come along. Well, instead of friends, I invited my best friends, Ronnie and Nita and Cindy and Ray! Believe it or not, I think they are more excited about the mini-vacation, than Tony and me, if that is possible! Unfortunately, it looks like Nita isn't going to be able to come.

Today was great and it was a beautiful day, too! Our great volunteer Jim showed up this morning to walk our dogs, and so did our new dog walking volunteers, Sha and Lisa! Thank you Lisa, Sha and Jim! Our dogs loved it! Y'all Rock!

This afternoon, Tony and I ran errands in Kerrville. When we got home, we went over to the Lodge to see Kinky, Will and The Friedmans. After we said our howdies to each other, we took a short hike, and then we ended up in Kinky's kitchen. "Y'all, I had the strangest dream today!" Kink said. "I was somewhere in a big crowd, and this woman tells me that Kinky Beman was coming to the party and..."

When Kinky had finished telling us about his weird dream, we all broke out laughing! Then it was Will's turn. "Y'all, this morning, at five o'clock, Bogie woke me up! He had accidentally or on purpose pooped on the sheets and the quilt!"

"Bogie spent the night in The Pro Shop?" I asked, as Kinky and Tony started laughing.

"Yes," Will continued. "I don't know what made him do it. I've been up since five this morning!" Then it was T.'s turn.

"Well, this morning, when I got up around four-thirty, Hank was sick. Poor little guy. He had pooped three times. Runny diarrhea. And he also had vomited twice! We had to take him to Hoegemeyer's today, but he is going to be okay." Kinky and Will shook their heads.

Now, I'm sitting there thinking, are Tony and Will trying to do a one up man ship here, about poop and vomit. And, I'm wondering why are we having this conversation, so I changed the conversation.

"We're going to Port Aransas Thursday morning! Cindy and Ray and Ronnie are meeting us down there. And, I can't wait! We can't wait to see Rick and Leisa! We are going to..."

"But Tony," Will said. "Because I don't have a washer and dryer, like y'all do, I was down at the creek at five-forty-five washing crap off of the quilt and sheets, and it was forty-one degrees outside and dark!"

"We are going to do a lot of fishing and playing music! Rick is awesome on his mandolin, and..."

"Yeah, but Will," Tony said. "I had to use up a whole roll of paper towels to clean it up, and it nearly stained the floor, and..."

"Tony!" Will said. "I was down at the creek, and vomiting every time that I smelled that awful smell! I was puking my guts out, man!" Tony and Kinky started shaking with laughter! "Nance, can I come over later on, to use your washer and dryer? The quilt and sheets still stink."

As I finish writing this blog tonight, Will is here, and he has just finished washing and drying the quilt and the sheets, for the third time. He says that he can still smell the odor, but I can't! Tony is now in a snit, because he had to go outside to the pump house, a couple of minutes ago, to turn the water pump on, so we don't run out of water tonight. I'm pooped, and now I think I know how the Invisible Woman feels.

Y'all have a great evening!

Here's a picture of Will and the quilt!

Sunday, October 25, 2009

It's Not Funny, Tone!

This morning, while walking six fast miles, I had a light bulb moment, I think? During the fifth mile, as I was speed walking circles around the big room, I glanced at the painting on the wall, that I had paid Liz Cravotta to do for me, several years ago. It was for a book jacket, for a book that I had written several years ago, titled, Home of The Fightin' Watermelons! Here is Liz's beautiful artwork! Unfortunately, my camera doesn't do it justice.

It was the first novel that I had written, about a woman my age, winning the biggest lottery jackpot in Texas, and not to brag, I think it is pretty funny. Of course, it is fiction, and I loved writing it! In my book, after winning the jackpot, I buy a huge ranch in North Texas...

My good friend, Bill Hageman, of the Chicago Tribune, wrote this funny blurb for the back of the jacket, and I have his letter framed, and hanging on our bathroom wall, right above the sink, because it always makes me smile. This is what Bill wrote:

"In "Home of the Fightin' Watermelons," Nancy Parker-Simons has populated Wayis, Texas, with the quirkiest bunch of characters this side of, well, Flour Bluff Junction at least. Throw in flatulent dogs, the world's largest fake baked potato, an attack rooster, and a little mysterious gunplay, and you—along with the good folks of Wayis—are in for some adventures down on the ranch. So pull up a comfortable chair, grab a cold Lone Star or two and enjoy."

That was my very first blurb for a book, and Bill wrote it on September 26, 2002! I can't believe it has been that long ago. I had friends help me edit the book, and hopefully tomorrow, I am going to reread it, and then ask my friend, Sheryl Eddins to edit it for me, one last time, before I self publish it. I am excited about it, and think its time has come! So, please wish me luck with it. So, I will have two books coming out at the same time. One fiction and one not.

Today Tone took me to lunch at Chinatown. Our meals were delicious. I read my fortune cookie, with my new bifocals. This is what it said, "Every moment is a golden one for him who has the vision to recognize it as such." Words to live by, I thought.

This afternoon I decided to work on the Space Ship, while wearing my new glasses, with hopes that my eyes would adjust to using the bifocals. I decided to build a breakfast nook. After Tony had set up my work station for me, I began measuring and chopping boards, while my iPod blasted out my favorite music in the background. I was having fun!

After the boards were chopped, the fun part began! I grabbed my 'nail gun for girls,' as T. likes to call it, and began building the nook! An hour later, it was built! But I wanted to reinforce it with screws, so I grabbed the 'screw gun for men,' because it weighs a ton, and went to work driving in screws! When I was nearly finished with my do it yourself project, while Steely Dan was singing, Hey Nineteen, I accidentally drove a screw into my index finger, because of my bifocals!

I don't do blood real well, so as I watched it pouring out of my finger, I sat down on the floor, in case I fainted. Then the pain set in. I needed Tony, but he was inside the trailer working on his virtual farm. I think he needed to do some plowing or planting.

After wiping the blood off on my jeans, I climbed out of the Space Ship, picked up a rock and threw it at the lower part of the trailer. Ten seconds later, T. came outside to check on me. "What's wrong, Nance?" Tony asked. I held up my finger covered in blood.

"I screwed myself," I said. Tone ran back to the trailer!

A couple of seconds later, as he was pouring hydrogen peroxide on my finger, that hurt like you know what, he said, "You're gonna be fine, Nance." Then he put neosporin on the wound, which caused me more pain, and then he wrapped my finger in a big Band-aid. "How'd this happen?"

"It happened because of those stupid bifocals, and that fortune cookie about vision, Tone. My vision was screwed up when I screwed myself." I said. "It wouldn't of happened if I had been wearing my cheaters, and we hadn't gone out to eat Chinese! We should have gone to the Save Inn." Tony started laughing at me. "It's not funny, Tone!"

"Yes it is! You're fine, Nance, and you're not going to die."

"Well, I hope that you're happy, because I am not going to be able to play my guitar now, for at least a month. And, I was planning on playing it with Rick, when we go down there. What do you think of my breakfast nook?"

"I like it," T. said, as he helped me put up the tools. "Nance, what you did to your finger is called redneck body piercing!" Then he burst out laughing and so did I, even though my finger was throbbing!

Tonight I wrote this blog using my cheaters. And, Kinky will be back at the ranch tomorrow!

Y'all have a great evening!

Saturday, October 24, 2009

Milk Money!

Friday afternoon, Will came over to the trailer to show us his first video, that he made of his good friend, Mickey "The Milk" Baden, shooting balls on Kinky's pool table! Will shot Mickey, in the Lodge, the night before!

When Will showed Tone and me Milk Money, our jaws dropped to the floor! I could not believe, that Will had put it together in less than thirty minutes, but then again, I can, because Will is a Mac Wizard! Here it is: Milk Money

After we watched Milk Money five or six times, Buttermilk took Tony, Will and me to Kinky's and Copper Love's book signing at Wolfmueller's Books! When we arrived, Sandy and Jon's bookstore was packed with people, getting their books signed by Copper and Kinky! I loved it!

While we were there, we visited with our friends, Mary Jo, Laura, Sandy and Jon, Grace Atwood, Dylan Ferrero, Jane, Frank, Marcie Friedman, Steve Price, Irene, Jim & Liz Cravotta, Beth, and her father, Bob, Jan & Todd Bauer, Jim McMahon, Harley & Becky, Kinky and Copper! It was sorta like a family reunion, but no one was related except for Kinky and Marce.

At one point during the fun book signing, Grace Atwood introduced us to her sweet sister-in-law, Vicki, and her nice husband, who, unfortunately, I can't remember his name, that have just moved here. They are our new neighbors! After handshakes, Vicki asked me to go with her to the "Kinky bookshelf section" so I could recommend some of Kinky's books for her to buy.

"Well, this one here is my favorite," I said, as I pulled a copy of my book, The Road To Utopia: How Kinky, Tony & I Saved More Animals Than Noah off of the shelf! Grace started laughing! Then she quickly explained to Vicki and her husband, that I had written the book. Then I recommended some of Kinky's books.

Vicki ended up buying several Kinky books, and mine, too! Here is a picture of me signing her copy of my book. Vicki is the pretty blond, standing behind me. And that's Mary Jo ringing up sales.

As Copper and Kinky continued to meet people and sign their names,

Sandy came up to me, "Nance, did you see Tony's postcard display table?"

"Nope," I replied. Then Sandy led me over to a this table displaying all of T.'s postcards! I was impressed! It was beautiful!

At six-thirty, when the book signing was over, Buttermilk took Will, Tony and me back to the ranch. Fortunately, we made it home just before dark-thirty!

Around eight o'clock, Tone half-hollered from his office, down the hall, "Nance, Sandy and Jon are online with me on iChat! Come here and say hi to them!" This was the first time that we had iChatted with them! The four of us had a really fun visit, talking about the book signing! And, it was fun to see them talking to us from their house!

We went to bed early, because I had to get up early. Before leaving Wolfmueller's, I had told Kinky that I wanted to make breakfast tacos for everyone in the morning, before he and Frank took off for Dallas, and Marcie took off for Vietnam. So, this morning at eight o'clock, Tony and I went over the river and through the woods with eighteen hot breakfast tacos!

Kinky, Marcie, Frank, Will, T. and I had a fun breakfast over at the Lodge, and there was a ton of laughter! "Nance," Kinky said. "Your breakfast tacos are delicious! I am very impressed with your cooking."

"Kink, don't talk with food in your mouth," I teased.

"No, seriously, Nance, I think you and I should start a breakfast taco cafe. We could make millions with these! We could name it..." We had a lot of fun thinking up possible names.

By nine, Kink and Frank were on their way to Dallas, so Tone and I came home, so Marcie could pack for her trip back to Vietnam.

While Tone fed the dogs outside and cleaned their pens, I went outside and visited with June, as she groomed our dogs. Then I took pictures of three more dogs that we have rescued this week, so I could send them to Pat, to post on our web site:
Here's a picture of Lefty aka Buddy! We rescued him seven years ago, but he was returned to us last Saturday, because he is not a cat fancier. He is one great dog and I hope that he finds another forever home real soon!

Here is a picture of Lobo! Lobo is big, friendly dog, that was abused, but you could never tell it. He is about one and half years old and very outgoing and friendly. Lobo would make a great companion for someone who doesn't fancy felines.

Here is a picture of Scooby Doo! Scooby is a precious little dog, that loves children, especially rowdy little boys! He is upbeat, and only one year old. He is a Libra, and like me, he loves to have fun and laugh!

Around one o'clock, Tony came into the trailer, "Nance, there are some people here from New York, that have asked to see Cousin Nancy." I went outside and found them down by Pearl Jam and Laz's pen.

As soon as I saw them, I recognized them! It was Denise and Bruce! Four years ago, they had come out to the rescue ranch, and visited with us. After introducing them to all of our great dogs, we went into the Space Ship, and ended up in Outer Space, where we had another great visit!

This afternoon, Marcie came by to say goodbye to us, and then she took off for Vietnam. We hated to see her leave, but fortunately, she will be back in May. We love her! After she left, Tone and I had a fun visit with Copper, as always!

After Copper left, our good friends, Jan and Todd Bauer came up to the trailer, after they had walked eighteen of our dogs! They had a birthday present for me! They gave me a beautiful Lenox Fine Crystal vase, which I love! Thank you, Jan and Todd! I already have flowers in it! And, thank you for walking our dogs! We love y'all!

I am sorry for this being such a long blog, but now I am caught up, and fixin' to watch a movie with Tone!

Y'all have a great evening!

Friday, October 23, 2009

Happy 53rd Birthday—Dwight Yoakam! We Love You!

Kinky, Tony and I want to wish Dwight a Happy 53rd Birthday! We love you, Dwight, and thank you so much for helping out our dogs! And, as Kinky always says, "Enjoy it, because it just gets worse!" I'm living proof!

The Book Signing Was A Blast At Wolfmueller's Books!

Today has been so much fun! This morning, Jim and Leo came out and walked our dogs, and so did our new volunteers, Sha and Lisa! The dogs loved it! We love y'all!

The book signing was a blast at Wolfmueller's Books! And, the bookstore was packed with people standing in line to get their books autographed! Here are a couple of pictures that I took of Copper Love and Kinky's book signing!

I'm pooped, and will write all about it tomorrow! Thank you, Jim, Leo, Lisa and Sha!

Y'all have a great evening!

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Kinky Will Be Signing Books At Wolfmueller's Books, Tomorrow Between 4:30 to 6:30! Be There Are Be Square!

This morning I overslept. I woke up at seven-thirty-five. Thank goodness I woke up when I did, because I had only ten minutes before calling in to do The Harley Show!

In ten fast minutes, I had all of the dogs and Lucky fed, and just enough time to jump on the computer to see who Harley's Pet Of The Week was. At seven-forty-four, I called the station, and after two rings, Harley picked up the phone. He told me that it would be about three minutes before we could do the rescue ranch segment, so I told him that I would hang up and call back, because I had overslept.

Three minutes later, I was on the air, telling Harley about Layla, the dog that we rescued a few weeks back, and how great she was. Then Harley changed the subject and started talking about Texas accents, and how they seemed to be disappearing. "I know, Harley," I said. "Since we are both from Fort Worth, you and I have north Texas accents, and they are really different from this part of the country. Did you know, I was thirteen, when I found out that I was mispronouncing the word pliers, when I asked someone to lend me a pair of 'plowers!'..." We did a lot of laughing and I think the show went well.

This afternoon, while Tony was outside working, I went to Kerrville to run a few errands. When I was done with them, I decided to drop by Wolfmueller's Books for a short visit with Sandy and Jon. When I walked into their store, I was greeted by both of them! After the howdies, Jon asked me if I was wearing my new glasses. "Yes. Why?" I asked.

"Because you were walking sorta funny!" Jon said, followed by a laugh.

"I know. I am having a really hard time adjusting to them. I used my old cheaters all day, until driving to Kerrville. I can see distance, but am having a hard time reading or using them when I am on the computer."

"You'll get used to them, Nancy," Sandy said. Then she asked to see them, so I took them off and handed the bifocals to her. Then Jon handed me something to read, and I couldn't see, so he handed me his cheaters, and just as I was about to read, Sandy handed my new glasses back to me. We started laughing, as I removed Jon's glasses and put my new ones back on. It was like musical glasses.

We had a really fun visit! Before leaving, I asked Sandy to look up Domino's Pizza's phone number, so I could order a pizza for Tone and me. Sandy gave me the number and I punched it into my cell phone. "Welcome to Domino's Pizza. You can save five dollars off your order, if you use your computer and type in this code..."

"Sandy, please write this down," I said. Then I told her four numbers, and hung up on the recording. After telling them about the five dollars off code, Jon went online to Domino's for me. As the three of us tried to figure out how to order the pizza that I wanted, we got to laughing at ourselves! "They don't have supreme pizzas anymore," Jon said. "Maybe this one is it..."

After spending five minutes, we found the pizza that I wanted, and Jon ordered it for me, using the promotional code. Then I took off for Domino's.

After Tone and I had devoured the delicious pizza, we grabbed our computers, and went over to see Will and Mickey, over at the Lodge, so Mickey could help us with our iChat setup. Within fifteen minutes, Mickey had us setup! Then Tony, Will and I went online with our Macs, and in seconds, the three of us were seeing each other on our screens and talking to each other!
It was totally amazing to me, to be able to see them talking to me on my computer! Then I started laughing about it.

"Here we are, all sitting two feet away from each other, and we are using our computers to talk and see each other!" Will, who is very funny, then started cutting up with us. He started distorting his face, and changing backgrounds faster than T. or I could respond to his last one! We laughed and played around with the different effects for over twenty minutes! It was a lot of fun! Before leaving the Lodge, we thanked Mickey for all of his help.

When we returned to the trailer, Kinky had left us a message, "Tone. Nance. Tony. Call me, Nance." I called Kinky. He was in San Antonio, for his book signing tonight, at Barnes and Nobles, at La Canterra! We talked about the two inches of rain that we received last night, and The Friedmans. He will be back at the ranch later tonight.

FYI: Tomorrow, Kinky Will Be Signing Books At Wolfmueller's Books, Between 4:30 to 6:30! Be There Are Be Square! T. and I are going, and we can't wait! See y'all there!

As soon as I publish this blog, I am going to get on iChat and talk to Tone, who is down the hall! I love it! No more half-hollering in this trailer! "Can you hear me, now?"

Y'all have a great evening!

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

The Troubadour!

Today has been fun! This morning after walking six fast miles with Leslie, I returned phone calls, and caught up on some paperwork. Since I was busy, Tony went over to see Kinky at the Lodge, to discuss some business with him.

When Tone returned from his meeting with Kinky, I was filling out my shopping list, and ready to head to Kerrville, because earlier we had planned on going to Kerrville to run several errands, like pick up my bifocals and hopefully get my driver's license. "Kinky wants us to eat lunch with him, Frank and Big G.," Tony said.


"At some BBQ place, that Big G. highly recommended we try. Kinky said for us to meet them at one o'clock," Tony said. A few minutes later, we left the rescue ranch in Buttermilk. On our way to Kerrville, we decided to eat lunch with them, but we had to rearrange our schedule.

After running two quick errands, we arrived at the BBQ place, one minute early. "Frank and Big G. are already here," Tony said. "They are sitting right next to the window." When we walked inside, we went to their table and sat down. After howdies and handshakes, Kinky showed up! And, that's when the real fun began!

We spent most of our lunch laughing at Frank's, Big G.'s and Kinky's hilarious stories, about famous musicians that they knew! They talked about Leon Russell, Billy Joe Shaver, Merle Haggard, Willie Nelson, Keith Richards, Roger Miller, Steve Winwood, etc. My favorite story was the one Kinky told about the early days of the Rolling Thunder Review!

One afternoon, before the show, Kinky was sitting at a bar, at The Troubadour, in Los Angeles. While sound checks were going on, a friendly guy, with a big, bushy beard and wearing a big cowboy hat, said hi to him, and Kinky said hi to him, even though he wasn't sure who the guy was.

"This guy seemed to know me," Kinky said. "He kept talking to me about mutual friends, but I couldn't place him. We spent over two hours drinking at the bar, while Joni Mitchell kept coming in and out of the bar. This guy was very friendly. I liked him, and I enjoyed our conversation. By the end of our conversation, I decide he had to either be Rusty Weir or Ray Wylie Hubbard."

"Who was he?" I asked Kinky.

"It was driving me crazy," Kinky said. "I had to know who he was, so I finally asked him who he was." The four of us sat in silence, waiting for Kink to tell us who he was. In a soft voice, Kinky said, "The man said, 'Eric Clapton.' It was Eric Clapton."

I was in shock! I had goose bumps! "It was Eric Clapton!" I said. "OMG! I love Eric Clapton! That is so cool! Wow!" Tone, Big G. and Frank thought it was pretty cool, too!

After lunch, T. and I went to Walmart to pick up my bifocals. After getting them fitted, we walked around the store, to see if I liked them and if I could see better. I definitely could see better, but I looked like a snob when I tried to read a label. My nose was so high up in the air, I would have drowned, had I been outside in the rain.

Our last destination was the Texas Department of Public Safety. "Don't be scared, Nance," Tony said, before we got out of Buttermilk. "Look straight ahead, when you try to read the letters."

When we entered the driving license office, I was scared. Scared that I might flunk their vision test, again. When the friendly woman officer asked me to come up to the counter, I said, "I flunked y'all's eye test five times last week, and I hope I don't today." Then I started pulling the eye doctor's form out of my purse, and getting my old driver's license, while two teenage boys stared at me, like I was a crazy old lady. "I got bifocals, and here is the paperwork." Then the woman asked me to sign a few forms.

After that she asked me to take the vision test! "Please read line four." I knew the boys were watching me, and probably laughing at me, and I also felt like everyone in there was holding their breath—wondering if I would pass the test. I said, a silent prayer, if that is even possible, and then I took a deep breath, and looked into the vision machine, and told her what I saw.

"Congratulations, you passed. You didn't miss one letter." I was thrilled! I felt like I had just won the lottery! I looked over at Tone and he shot me a wink. "Now, I have to take your picture. Please stand over there, and remove your glasses."

I did as I was told, but was confused that she didn't want me wearing my bifocals in the picture. After she shot me, my thumbs were finger printed, and then she asked me if I wanted to keep my motorcycle license, because it would cost a little bit more.

"Yes," I said, as the two young men looked at me in disbelief! I loved it!

I wrote a check to the state of Texas for thirty-two dollars. Then Tony drove me back to the rescue ranch. We laughed about the two teenagers. "You should of seen the look on their faces, when she asked you if you wanted to keep your motorcycle license!" Tony said.

Y'all have a great evening!

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Howdy Christian!

Yesterday, my DVDs, that I ordered from Amazon arrived! So, this morning, instead of walking six miles with Leslie, I sweated to the oldies with Richard Simmons! And, it was fun!

It's probably been over seven or eight years since I did that workout, because the copy I had was on VHS. When I clicked play, and the music, Dancing In The Streets started playing—it all came back to me. I remembered the moves and the people working out with Richard!

When his workout was over, I wasn't, so I walked three miles with Leslie, just to make sure that I got in a good workout.

This afternoon, Tony and I went over to the Lodge to see Marcie, so she and I could do a shout out video to her friend, Christian, who is a fan of mine, over in Hanoi, Vietnam. Before we asked Tony to shoot us, we invited our good friend, Terry to join us!
Here's our shout out from Medina, Texas to Christian!
Howdy Christian!

P.S. Kinky and Will told me the snakes were not fighting. And, Anon's and Fay's comments on the video were right, too. I guess Cindy Lou and I are just hopeless romantics. Tomorrow I get my bifocals.

Y'all have a great evening!

Monday, October 19, 2009

Just Another Love-Hate Relationship!

Yesterday, after Tony and I had returned from Kerrville, after eating my birthday lunch at China Town, and then going on a fifty dollar shopping spree at Gibsons, I was ready for a quiet afternoon, but unfortunately that didn't happen.

After taking a short nap with my fur buddies, I decided to go out to my cabin, to take a few pictures, for the book jacket that I am designing for my new book. After telling Tony, the dogs and Lucky where I was going, I grabbed my camera and left the trailer.

My head was full of thoughts about what pictures I needed to take, as I walked towards the writing cabin. After opening the gate to the cabin yard, I nearly stumbled on two snakes fighting, right in front of me! I wanted to scream, but I didn't, because I detest people raising their voice. So, I just jumped back!

Then I picked up a big rock, which I think was the same rock, that we had used as our rock-tool, on Buttermilk's air conditioning fan, earlier this summer. I didn't throw it at the snakes, instead, I threw it at the lower part of our trailer as hard as I could! It made a loud noise, and then it bounced off into the front yard.

The reason that I threw it at the trailer, is because I knew Tone would come running! He always comes running, when I throw rocks at the trailer. It is our code for 'get outside, now!' He never uses it, but I do.

"What, Nance?" Tony hollered, from the front door.

"Tony! There are two giant snakes fighting, out by the gate to the cabin! They nearly scared me to death! And, I nearly stepped on them!" As soon as Tony heard my words, he started running down the porch steps towards me. Then he ran past me to look at the snakes. "Be careful, Tone!"

T. stopped in his footsteps, when he reached the gate entrance. They were still there and still fighting! There was a moment of silence, then Tony started laughing! "What's so funny?" I asked.

"Babe, they are not fighting. They are making love, and they are harmless ribbon snakes." I walked up a little closer, and handed T. my camera.

"Please take a picture of them, so I can prove I saw them. I don't want to get close to them." I said. Tony took my camera and took this picture of them.

Then he took this video clip of them fighting or making up! Tying the knot! You decide. I think they were fighting. And, I'm going to show this video clip to Kinky tomorrow, and get his opinion.

Y'all have a great evening!

Saturday, October 17, 2009

The First Breakfast!

This morning, I overslept, but it didn't bother me, because today is my fifty-eighth birthday! I didn't walk today, because today is my birthday! And, I no longer can legally drive a vehicle in the state of Texas, because today is my birthday! I like birthdays!

This morning after feeding the fur clan, I started a load of laundry, and then I cleaned up and got dressed. By eight o'clock, I was in the kitchen cooking breakfast tacos, for The First Breakfast of my fifty-eight years on the planet! A few minutes later, Tone came home. "Happy Birthday, Nance!" Then he handed me a card! His sweet sentimental card, made me tear up, or it might have been from the onions, that I had just chopped and thrown into the skillet. "I'm sorry that I don't have a present for you, I ran out of time. I want to take you out to dinner tonight, and then tomorrow, I'll go buy you a present. Please don't cry."

"I'm fine, Tone," I said. "I just accidentally rubbed my eyes, after dicing up an onion." At eight-forty-five, I put the last foil wrapped. breakfast taco, into the oven to keep warm. Then I cleaned up the kitchen. I was ready to party!

At nine o'clock sharp, the dogs outside started barking! It was Marcie, Ben, Mario and Frank driving up! When they came inside the trailer, the party began! After hugs and handshakes, Mario handed me a beautiful birthday cake, that he had bought for me! It looked delicious!

After everyone had filled their cups with coffee, I pulled the breakfast tacos out of the oven, and everyone served themselves, because it was my birthday!

Not to brag, my tacos were delicious! The best that I have ever made! In fact, Frank said, that he had eaten breakfast tacos all over Austin, and he thought mine were the best that he had ever eaten! As we ate breakfast, we watched Playing For Change, as we visited with each other. Everyone loved it, too! I knew they would.

When the breakfast dishes were soaking in the sink, I removed the cake from the box, then everyone sang the Happy Birthday To You!, song to me! Then we ate the cake! It was delicious, too! Then we sat around the kitchen and the 'big room' talking and laughing! Here's a picture that Tone took of us.

An hour later, the party ended, and my friends went back over to the Lodge. After cleaning up the kitchen I sat down at the kitchen table and began opening up birthday cards from all around the world, wishing me the best birthday ever! I loved reading everyone of them, and I want to thank all of you for making my day so special!

I also want to thank Sandy Wolfmueller, Ellen Jackson, and Ellen Cooper, for their singing phone calls. I loved it! They made me smile.

This afternoon, I decided to live dangerously, because it was my birthday! I drove Marcie, Mario and Tony to the mail boxes, out on Highway 16, and didn't get caught! On the way out to the highway, Tony showed off his Garmin GPS to Marcie and Mario and they were really impressed with it.

When we returned to the rescue ranch, I quickly opened up a package from Karen Cares. I knew it was going to be a necklace that she had made for me, because 'Erb, her husband, had sent me an e-mail, the day before, alerting me that it was coming. When I pulled the necklace out, everyone's jaw dropped, because it was absolutely beautiful! Marcie said, "Nance, it's exquisite! I can't believe that she made this for you." I couldn't either, and neither could Mario and Tone!

As Tony put it on me, I read her card, telling me that the pendant is called The Naja. It has its origin with the Moors in Spain. It is considered to be a good luck charm! And, it is thought that it was handed down from the Spanish Moors to Mexico and then to the Navajo Indians. Karen wrote that she made the red seed bead caps to add color.

Talk about one talented woman! I love it, Karen, and I don't want to ever take it off! Thank you so much, Karen! I can't wait to show it to Kinky, tomorrow!

After Marcie and Mario admired it some more, we jumped into Buttermilk, and I broke the law, again—I drove them back over to the Lodge and I didn't get caught!

When I came back home, there was a package for me, sitting on the breakfast bar! It was from my dear friend, Ann, who lives in New Mexico! Tony opened it for me. It was the cutest mini-chandelier, that I have ever seen! Ann had sent it to me, because she thought it would look great in the Space Ship! And, it does! I've already hung it up over the sink!

After hanging it up, I came back inside the trailer to read more birthday cards. Tony and I laughed out loud at the funny ones, and the ones that made noise! Thank y'all, again for making my day! The last envelope I opened was from my dear friend, Jim Callahan. That's when I nearly fell out of my chair!

Jim sent me an autographed, black and white picture of Roy and Dale with Trigger! I love it, and am going to frame it tomorrow and hang it in my writing cabin! I can't wait! Thank you, Jim!

My fifty-eight birthday has been the best birthday ever, and I want to thank everyone who sent me a birthday card, or e-mailed me best wishes, called me on the phone, those who made donations to our rescue ranch in honor of my birthday, and sent gifts! I love y'all!

P.S. Tony and I decided to not go out tonight, because we were tired, and are old!

Y'all have a great evening!

Friday, October 16, 2009

The Last Lunch!

Today has been so much fun! This morning after walking six fast miles and getting cleaned up, I decided to go over to the Lodge to invite Marcie, Mario, Will, Frank and Ben to lunch in Outer Space.

On my way out of the rescue ranch, I visited with June and Eileen, who were walking Sandy and Dusty! Then Jim walked up with little Jill, our Fox Terrier! We didn't get to visit long, but I was so happy to see them, and was even more happy for our dogs getting to go for a walk!

When I arrived at the Lodge, Will and Marcie greeted me at the door. After hugs, I said, "I want to invite y'all over for lunch today. Since this is my last fifty-seven lunch, I'm calling it—The Last Lunch!" Before leaving, we agreed to eat at eleven-thirty, then I took off, because I only had an hour to fix lunch and get things ready!

When I arrived back at the rescue ranch, I found Ben and told him about the Last Lunch. Ben thought it sounded great, and then he started walking to the barn. "Ben! What are you fixin' to do?"

"Mow," Ben said. "Why?"

"Because I need your and Tony's help! I need for you to help me cook our lunch. Please come up to the trailer as soon as possible."

When I was climbing up the steps to our porch, Tony came outside, and I told him about The Last Lunch! Then I asked him to help me. As I started defrosting a bag of my frozen beans in some hot water in the kitchen sink, Tony rearranged Outer Space for me! He moved our dining table to the center of Outer Space, and pulled up chairs, etc. Then Ben showed up! "What do you want me to do, Nance?"

"Cook lunch!" I said, anxiously. "I've got chicken fajitas, beans, and these baked potatoes that I've got to hammer, and then cook in olive oil! David, over at Trail's End Guest House, gave me his Greek potato recipe!" As I poured the bag of half-frozen beans into a pot, Ben opened up the refrigerator door, and started pulling out pico de gallo, sour cream, cheese and a package of flour tortillas.

In less than thirty seconds, Ben was cooking the chicken fajitas, and grating cheese. "Since, we have more people than you have food for, I'm going to make chicken fajita quesadillas." Then we started laughing!

As my iPod played one favorite song after another, Ben continued to cook, as I carried our dishes outside and set the table for six. Earlier, Marcie had told me about Frank having an appointment in Kerrville this morning, and I was praying that he wouldn't make The Last Lunch, so there would be enough food for everyone.

When I came back inside, the trailer was filled with smoke, because of Ben's speed-cooking! Here's a picture of Ben at work, and our smokey trailer.

After taking these pictures, Ben suggested that I open up all of the windows, and I did. After the smoke had cleared, Tony took off for Medina to get some supplies. And, that's when I asked Ben to take over the cooking, because I was tired of hammering the potatoes.

At eleven-thirty, Tony returned from the hardware store, just in time to carry the hot platters into Outer Space for me! A few minutes later, Will, Marcie and Mario arrived! Unfortunately, but fortunately, Frank was a no-show, so there was plenty of food to go around!

Ben's lunch was absolutely delicious, as always, and I had so much fun! There was non-stop laughing, and I think that everyone had a really good time! After all of the food had disappeared, and the dishes were stacked, Tony took this picture of us. Left to right, is Will, Mario, me, Marcie and Ben.

This afternoon, Kinky called, while I was outside and left this message, "Call me, Nance." A few hours later, I called him. "Happy Birthday, Nance!" Kink said.

We talked for about five minutes. He sounded great, and he was in Seabrook, Texas! I told him all about The Last Lunch, and we talked about me flunking the eye test and getting bifocals, and The Friedmans.

Today was so much fun! I received many birthday cards, and plan to open them in the morning, before everyone comes over to celebrate The First Breakfast!

P.S. The Greek potatoes turned out fine, but they were not near as good as David's.

Y'all have a great evening!

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Can I Try, Again?

It is six-thirty-three in the evening. I just put twelve, small potatoes into the oven to bake, because I am going to try to replicate David Farrar's delicious Greek Potato recipe, that he prepared for us last night at Peasants, at the Trail's End Guest House.

David told us that you bake the potatoes first, and then you leave them alone for at least twelve hours on your counter top. When you're ready to eat them, you cut them up in large chunks, and then you hit them with a hammer to flatten them out, before frying them in olive oil. Then you drizzle them with three kinds of olive oil and mushroom mixture. I'm planning on serving them tomorrow for lunch, even though I don't have any mushrooms. I will let you know how they turned out.

I just turned on the salt lamp and cranked up my iPod to set the mood. Arlo Guthrie is singing, The Motorcycle Song. I love that song, and it always makes me smile. And, I need to smile after the crazy day that I just had.

This morning, Tony woke me up at five-thirty, because I had asked him to. Before sunup, I had fed the dogs and Lucky, and walked over six fast miles. At seven-forty-five, I did The Harley Show, with Harley! Within twenty seconds, he had me laughing and the show went well and it was pretty funny.

At ten-fifteen, before leaving the ranch, we told Ben that we had to go to Kerrville, for an eleven o'clock business meeting, then I had to get my driver's license renewed, then we needed to swing by by the post office for stamps, and our last stop would be at Walmart to get supplies. We told Ben that we should be back home by one-thirty. Then Tony and I took off for Kerrville in Buttermilk, and left Ben to finish up Tony's chores. Little did I know, that we had lied to Ben.

Before the business meeting, we went to Wolfmueller's Books, so I could buy a couple of copies of my book, because I wanted to give them to Marty and Bill, the people that we were having the business meeting with. We had a short visit with Sandy and Jon and then we took off.

Tone and I were two minutes late for the meeting, and I apologized for being late. Marty and Bill were great, and our forty-five minute meeting went well. "I really like those people, and am really excited about working with them!" I said to Tone, as the elevator took us down to the first floor.

"I'm starving," T. said. "Can we get something to eat?"

Seven minutes later, we were at the orange colored restaurant, giving our waitress our order. Tone had burritos, and I had 'The Speedy Gonzalez,' and our meals were delicious.

Our next stop was at the Texas Department of Public Safety to renew my driver's license. A piece of cake—not! I flunked their vision test—five times! I started out with my new 250+ cheaters. "I'm sorry," the friendly female officer said, "but you didn't get enough of them right."

"Can I try, again?" I asked. She smiled. I tried, again closing my right eye.

"I'm sorry, but you didn't get enough of them right." I then removed my new cheaters, and then opened up my purse, and pulled out a pair of pink 250+. I tried, again and flunked. Then I tried again, and flunked, again. Then I removed the glasses and tried without using any glasses. "I'm sorry, but you didn't get any of them right," she said. "You need to take this form and get your eyes examined, and signed by an eye doctor. Next?"

As Tony and I left the building, I didn't know if I wanted to cry or scream. I finally decided to cry, right before we arrived at the post office, so T. went inside and purchased the stamps for me. He bought the Gulf Coast Lighthouse stamps.

On our way to Walmart, my tears had dried, and I was mad. I was mad, because I don't like getting old, and I really didn't want to spend a lot of money buying glasses! "Nance, you can get your glasses at Walmart!" Tony said, trying to comfort me. "That's where I got mine, and they are a lot cheaper than the other places."

"I don't want to buy glasses, so I can drive!" I said. "Maybe, I will just quit driving, and not get a license. Then you'll have to drive me everywhere." Tony started laughing at me.

"What are you talkin' about? I drive you everywhere, now! With the exception of the cousin reunion, last Saturday, the only place you drive is over to the Lodge to see Kinky!" T. said. "Come on, Nance. You need to get glasses. Let's go." I knew he was right, but I didn't tell him.

Before we went inside, to the Walmart eye doctor's office, I said, "I'm not getting bifocals. No way!" When we walked into the office, the doctor's lovely wife told us to come back in thirty minutes for my appointment, so Tone and I killed time walking around the discount store and getting supplies.

At two o'clock I saw the friendly eye doctor, and Tone took off, while I took the 'Puff Test' followed by several other vision testing procedures.

Fifty dollars later, and twenty-five minutes later, I had a prescription for my eyeglasses, and the D.P.S. form filled out by the eye doctor. After explaining to the doctor that I didn't have insurance, and wanted to spend the least amount of money, he escorted me into the Vision Center, and told the woman that I needed to get plastic, flat bifocals with their cheapest frames. Then he asked her how much it would cost. "The bifocals will cost $55.00, and our cheapest frames start at $18.00."

As the woman showed me the cheap frames, Tony appeared carrying a Walmart plastic sack, but he wouldn't tell me what was in it! Ten minutes later, I picked a pair of $36.00 frames, and wrote a check for over ninety-four dollars. And, she told me that I can pick up my new glasses on the twenty-first.

As T. and I walked back to Buttermilk, I said, "Tony, I am not going to be able to drive until the twenty first! Starting Sunday, I won't be able to drive for four days." He said nothing.

When we got back to the ranch at three-thirty, Ben was mowing and the place looked great! When we came inside the trailer, after letting the dogs and the cat outside, Tony handed me the Walmart plastic bag. "I hope you like it."

I opened up the bag and was totally surprised! T. had bought me a string of colored Christmas lights, some ornaments and hangers for Outer Space, because last night, during dinner, I had commented about how I wanted to decorate Outer Space like Peasants, with a string of colored lights, and ornaments! I love you, Tone!

Tomorrow, I plan to string the lights and place the ornaments, and I can't wait!

Y'all have a great evening!

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

I Pigged Out Tonight!

This morning I walked over nine miles with Leslie Sansone, because I knew I was going to pig out tonight at Peasants, David and Desiree Farrar's five star restaurant, located at the Trail's End Guest House! And, it's a good thing that I did, because I did pig out. I couldn't quit eating, because every tapas that David served us was even more delicious than the last one!

Last week, Jon and Sandy Wolfmueller made the dinner reservations for the four of us at Peasants. This evening at five-fifteen, Jon unlocked the door of their bookstore to let Tony and me inside. A few minutes later, Tone and I were in the back seat of their Rav, which they still haven't named, headed for Peasants.

As soon as we arrived at the Trail's End Guest House, we saw Beckham! I couldn't believe how big he was! The four of us went over to his pen to say hello to him. I think he remembered Tony and me, and he was as friendly as he could be! I started taking pictures of him, and then he started hamming it up! Here's a picture of him visiting with Tone and Jon.

After petting and talking to Beck, he started running around his giant pig pen, until he had the four of us laughing hysterically!

At one point, when he was at the back of his pen, I hollered, "Beck! Come here, Beck," like I used to do, and he came running up to me! And, that's when I decided to take this video of him!
Run Beck! Run!
After we visited with Beckham, we went to eat dinner. Tony and I had a blast with Sandy and Jon! And, we really enjoyed visiting with Desiree and David, too!

As Buttermilk took us home, all I could talk about was how much fun tonight had been. Thank you, David and Desiree, Sandy Jon, T. and Beck! I love you, Beck!

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

A Change Of Pace!

This morning I overslept, but I was back on track by eight-thirty. By nine o'clock, I was sitting at the kitchen table doing paperwork. By eleven, I was caught up with that stuff! Then it was time for me to exercise.

I wanted to walk six fast miles, but for a change of pace, I turned on the Fitness Channel, and decided to lift weights with a very muscular woman, that had to have been half my age. As I pumped iron with her, using my heavy, blue, five pound hand weights, I got scared when the camera zoomed in to show these giant muscled arms, that I figured belonged to one of the men in the workout, but they were hers!

I don't want big arms like hers, but I continued to sweat and feel the burn in my arms, which she said was supposed to be good for me. An hour later, after the strenuous workout, I decided to do Pilates with another woman, on the Fitness Channel. It was fun and easy, until she told me to get down on the floor, and lay down on my back.

As we did her version of sit ups, I started thinking about scorpions, and the possibility of getting bit by one, but I didn't stop. Near the end of her thirty minute show, Tone walked in and his jaw dropped when he saw me laying on the floor with my legs up in the air, crisscrossing. "Be careful, Nance," he remarked. "Watch out for scorpions." Fortunately, the show ended in minutes, and I didn't get stung by one!

This afternoon, after I had ordered Richard Simmons' Dancing To The Oldies, from Amazon, Kinky called me. He is back on the road, again and he won't be back until Sunday. We talked for about five minutes.

This evening, as I painfully lift my aching arms to type this, I am happy. The reason that I am happy is because, today, with the help of a friendly Apple tech, I successfully transferred all of my files from my old computer to my new computer! I know that it is not a hard task to do, but for me it is. I am proud of my accomplishment.

I'm not sure if I can blog tomorrow night, because Tone and me are going out to dinner with Jon and Sandy, at Peasants, the five star restaurant at the Trail's End Guest House, and I can't wait! Jon and Sandy made reservations for us last week. Tony and I can't wait to eat David's fabulous food, and to visit with Desiree and him and Sandy and Jon! I know it will be a blast! And, it will be fun to visit with Beckham! I'm planning on giving Beck all of my leftovers, if there are any!

I am praying that I can move my arms in the morning. And, I've decided to definitely do the walk everyday, until Richard's exercise DVD's arrive. Then I will alternate them with walking with Leslie Sansone. I think The Fitness Channel is great, but not when you have scorpions chasing you around on the floor.

Y'all have a great evening!

Walter Matthau Has Found His Forever Home!

I didn't blog last night, because we invited Will to come over with his new Apple computer, and we helped each other set up our Macs!

Yesterday, around one-thirty, Walter got adopted!. That is four dogs in a row! Friday, Ashley Judd got adopted, Saturday, was Hudson's day, Sunday, Tasha was officially adopted, and now Walter!

We are all thrilled about the adoptions, and Kinky said, "We're on a roll, Nance!"

Sunday, October 11, 2009

No Smoking Please!

It is six-twenty-five, Sunday evening, and I just woke up from a much needed nap. I have much to tell, so here goes.

Saturday morning, when I woke up, I decided to take it slow, before driving up to Dripping Springs. I didn't want to be in such a hurry that I would make myself a nervous wreck, before venturing up to Ronnie's without Tony. Even though I had overslept by an hour, I did my morning chores—feeding my furry kids and getting a load of laundry started.

When Tone returned from Medina, we drank our healthy smoothies, and then he went outside to feed the dogs and to clean their pens, while I began walking with Leslie. Over an hour and a half later, Tony came inside the trailer. "I just walked eight miles!" I bragged to T.

"I just picked up poop from over fifty dogs!" Tone stated with pride. "Don't you need to get on the road?"

"I'm fixin' to," I said. "I've got to get cleaned up and pack. "I will probably be leaving in about an hour or so..."

An hour or so later, I grabbed my guitar, and loaded it into Buttermilk's back seat. Then I packed my portable Bose iDock and eighty gig iPod into my flowery cloth duffle bag, along with some clothes. I carried it, and a new box of fine wine out to Buttermilk. When I returned to the trailer, I put on my favorite necklace, the turquoise one, that Karen Cares, custom made for me a few years ago. Then I put on my Utopia Animal Rescue Ranch blue jean jacket. I was ready to go, but I didn't want to leave Tony and our dogs and Lucky.

After saying goodbye to Toto, Little Girl, Hank, Sr., Thunder, Mama, Abbie and Lucky, I slung my purse over my shoulder and left the trailer. As I was programming Garmina, with Ronnie's address—Tony showed up in Kermit. "Hudson's just been adopted!"

"You're kidding me? Hudson?" I had mixed feelings. I really loved that dog, and I really wanted to adopt him, even though that was impossible, but I was also thrilled that he was getting adopted so quickly.

"No. These two really nice people, Kathleen and Joe, want to adopt him, for their son, Garrett. Do you have time to write up Hudson's paperwork?"

"Yes!" I turned around and went back inside the trailer, and Tone took off in Kermit. Five minutes later, I jumped into Buttermilk and drove down to the barn, where Tony was standing with the soon to be adoptive parents. After introductions, I told them about being in love with Hudson and congratulated them on picking him.

After Hudson's papers were signed, I told them that I was heading out of town, and thought it might be best that I leave without saying goodbye to Hudson, because I didn't want to cry, and then show up at my cousin's reunion all puffy and red-eyed, and having to explain that Tony and I were fine, and a dog had made me cry. Fortunately, they understood. So, they took off with T., and Buttermilk took off with me.

I was one of the last cousins to arrive at the Ronderosa. As soon as I had parked Buttermilk, I called Tony to let him know that I had made it to Ron and Nita's and the next thing you know, I was covered up with cousins! There were no handshakes, just hugs! Of course, everyone had really aged, but me, and all of us were gray headed, except for Suzy, who had always wanted to be a blond.

The fun day was spent catching up with each other's lives, and eating all kinds of snacks, before eating Ron's delicious smoked BBQ dinner hours later. I'm not sure which snack it was that gave me gas, but I had gas so bad, that I seriously thought about making a sign to wear around my neck, that would read: "No Smoking Please!" so, I wouldn't accidentally blow up my cousins who still smoked. I eighty-sixed that thought, because I wanted to show off my necklace.

A couple of hours later, I still had the walking pooh-poohs, so I asked Katelyn, Ron and Nita's beautiful daughter, to go for a long walk with me, so I could blow off a little steam. Two loud miles later, I was a gas free woman! Thank goodness!

When we returned from our windy journey, we walked inside the house, to find Ronnie, Ray, Brock and Tom playing music! Ronnie was playing guitar, Ray was playing dulcimer, Brock was playing banjo, and Tom was playing guitar and mandolin! They sounded great! Then my cousin Tony grabbed me by my jacket! "Get in there, Nance and play with them." I tried to blow him off, but I was out of gas, so to speak. Then Cindy and a few others begged me to pick up my guitar, and play with them. I was out numbered.

Before I grabbed a pickin' stool, I took off for the kitchen, and poured me a glass of fine boxed wine, for false courage. We picked and grinned for over an hour. It was a lot of fun, and I must admit that I played pretty good with them. In fact, I've never played better! When we finally quit playing, my fingers were killing me, and they are still sore.

By eleven o'clock, the reunion was over, and everyone had gone back from where they had come from. Ron, Nita and I sat up and visited for about an hour, then we went off to bed.

I left this morning, before Ronnie and Nita got up. When we reached Fredericksburg, I pulled Buttermilk into Walmart's parking lot, and called Tony to ask him if he wanted to meet me for breakfast at Randy & Lisa's Save Inn, because we were both twenty-two miles away from Kerrville.

Thirty minutes later, I walked into the Save Inn and sat down at a table. Because I am blind as a bat, I didn't see Lisa, sitting at a table with her adorable grandchildren and her daughter-in-law, Trisha, of Copies Plus! Five minutes later, Tone walked into the restaurant and sat down at our table. "Did you say hi to Lisa and Trish over there?" After telling him that I hadn't seen them, he turned around and we waved to them.

As we ate, I told Tony all about the fun cousin reunion, and he nearly choked on his biscuit, when I told him about my gas-capades. "I'm going to the next one," he said.

As always our waitress was great, and so was our breakfast. One of their other friendly waitresses, came over to our table and told us this joke. "Do you know how to fix a broken pumpkin?" We shook our heads no. "With a pumpkin patch!" After paying for our meal, T. and Trigger followed us home.

After unpacking, and starting a load of clothes in Queen Bee, I walked six miles. Then the phone rang—it was Georgia. "Nancy, can I adopt Tasha? I've fallen in love with her..." By the end of our conversation, Tasha had found her forever home! Tony and I were thrilled!

This afternoon, around two o'clock, Kinky called to invite us over to the Lodge, for a visit with Marcie, who had flown in from Hanoi, Vietnam. When we arrived, after hugs, Will, Kinky, Marcie, Tone and I sat down at the kitchen table and had a really fun visit! At one point, Kinky went to his office and came back with a package and handed it to me. "I think this is for you, but I really think it is for me. It's from Germany and I was just over there. Open it and let's find out." I opened it.

It was an old, small picture book, filled with beautiful black and white pictures of dogs and cats. Then I found a folded note tucked in the front of the book. "I think it's for me, Kink," I said, as I looked at the envelope. It says, "To Nancy Parker-Simons, care of K. Friedman..."

"I know, but I bet it is for me," Kinky said. I unfolded the handwritten note. "September fourth. Dear Mrs. Parker-Simons. Kinky it's for me!" Then I went on to read the letter aloud. This nice woman, Gabriele Wernette, wrote to tell me that she loves Kinky and has read everything that he has written and she loves our rescue ranch, and she thanked me for all that we do for the animals. The book was printed in Germany in 1922 and it is beautiful! Thank you Gabriele! I love it!

After telling Kinky the good news about Hudson and Tasha getting forever homes, he went back to his office, again and then returned. "Here's a copy of Kinky's Celebrity Pet Files, for you and Tony." I asked him to sign it for us and he did. He wrote: "For Nancy & Tony, I'm gettin' tired of doing all the work around here. Love, Kinky Friedman 10-11-09!"

Then Marcie got up and left the Lodge. A few minutes later she returned with a few gifts for Tony and me, from Vietnam! She gave us an embroidered shirt, and a mug from the U.S. Embassy! A little birdie tells me that T. and I will be fighting over the mug and shirt real soon!
I have now been writing for over two hours on this blog, I'm now tired, and I'm sure that you're tired of reading it, too.

Y'all have a great gas-free evening!

Friday, October 9, 2009


The reason that I didn't write a blog yesterday, was because unfortunatley, I am not a computer nerd. Yesterday morning started out great!

At seven-forty-five, I called The Rose 99.9, to do The Harley Show live. Harley had me laughing in thirty-seconds, and it was a lot of fun! His Pet of the Week was Moe Bandy! After trying to sell the listening audience on Moe, I told Harley about my true love—Hudson, and I couldn't quit talking about what a great dog he is. After doing the Harley Show, the phone rang—it was Kinky.

"Good morning, Nance," Kinky said. "I think you should adopt Hudson!"

"Were you listening to The Harley Show? And, where are you?"

"Yes, and I really think that you should adopt him. He is precious, and I just drove through Fredericksburg, I'm going to eat breakfast in Johnson City, then..." Kink and I talked for about ten minutes. He had left the ranch early, because he had to be in Dallas before one o'clock.

After walking six miles, and when Tone was finished outside, we ate lunch. Then we decided to go to San Antone to get my long awaited Apple computer! To say the least, I was excited! As we were fixing to enter The Apple Store, a very tall man, carrying a new Apple computer, nodded his head at us and said hello. We said, "hi," as we passed by him.

"Nance!" Tony said, with excitement! "That was David Robinson! I can't believe it!"

"Who is David Robinson?"

"He is one of the greatest Spurs players ever! He's over seven feet tall and..." As Tony filled me in, I went to the display table and found the computer that I wanted. Then a friendly nerd showed up to help me. As we checked out, Tony asked the nice nerd, if David Robinson, had just been in the store. The nerd nodded, yes. That made T. even more excited.

Ten minutes later, Buttermilk was taking us back to the rescue ranch.

When we got home, I unpacked "Roy" and then immediately gave the computer a test drive! I loved it for three hours! But, because I am not that computer savvy, things started going south. The upgraded software was a little confusing, and I got confused on how to transfer my files from the old "Roy." I knew that I was trying to do too much, too fast, and I found myself getting overwhelmed. So, I called Jon Wolfmueller, to ask him to walk me through the iChat software.

Jon was great! But, after fifteen minutes into my lesson, I gave up, because I couldn't remember the one, out of four thousand different passwords that I use, so I pulled the plug. "I'm sorry, Jon, not tonight. I'm truly exhausted. Thank you for helping me. Let's try it again in a few days. I wish I was nerd, as in Nancy Nerd, but I'm not. Bye." Jon was laughing at me, as I hung up the phone.

This morning, at ten-thirty, Ashley Judd got adopted! Fingers crossed, we hope that she has found her forever home! Tim and Chrissy, the young couple who adopted her, are super people and that's what Ashley deserves! Here's a picture of Ashley, who was Miss April, in this year's rescue ranch calendar! Isn't she beautiful!

Today, after lunch, we went to Kerrville to get a few supplies. While we were in Walmart, Tony says, "Nance, you might ought to think about getting some new glasses, before you take your driving test next week. You might flunk it with those old wire rims."

"Thanks, Tone," I said, a little sarcastically, as we headed to the 'Cheap Cheaters' department. They didn't have any wire rims that I liked, so as I tried on one ugly plastic pair after another, and then having to force myself to look into the mirror, I started laughing! I said, "That cousin family reunion tomorrow is going to be hilarious! It's been nearly twenty or thirty years, since I've seen some of my cousins, and I can just see everyone looking at everyone else and thinking, how much older everyone looks than them! I wish you were going with me. You'd be one of the youngest ones there, and I could tell everyone that I robbed the cradle!" Here are my new 250+ powered $8.95 cheaters!

I'm going up to Dripping Springs, tomorrow morning, with the help of Garmina, Tony's GPS, and hopefully I want get lost. I will be spending the night at Ronnie's, so I won't be blogging tomorrow night.

Y'all have a great evening!

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Outlaw Women!

This morning I overslept, and woke up at seven-fifteen, but I was able to catch Kinky on Imus and he was great! My favorite part was when Don told Kinky that he loved Heroes of A Texas Childhood and that he was going to get Wyatt to read it!

As soon as Kinky and Imus said goodbye to each other, the phone rang—it was Kinky! "Morning, Kinky," I said. "You were great on Imus! When did you get in last night?"

"Late, Nance," Kinky said. "Do you want to come over for some coffee?" Five minutes later, I was sitting in the kitchen and drinking coffee with Kink. We had a great visit! He told me all about his European tour, and how much he had enjoyed it, and then we caught up with each other's news. Before leaving the Lodge, we decided to meet for lunch at El Sombrero, in Kerrville, with Tony and Frank at twelve-thirty.

Tone and I were two minutes early when we arrived at the Orange colored restaurant, and when we saw Mr. Green Jeans parked in the parking lot, we knew that we would find Kinky and Frank inside. The four of us had a fun lunch.

Frank told us about singing karaoke, at a bar in Bandera, last Thursday night, and how much he loved Bandera. Kinky talked about his hectic upcoming schedule, and then he told us some very funny stories about his trip across the pond. Tone talked about the weather, and whether or not he should go with me, to my family reunion, at Ronnie's in Dripping Springs, this Saturday, because Saturdays are our open house.

Kinky thought Tony should go with me, so I wouldn't get lost, and we had a fun time discussing the pros and cons. After getting teased about my driving skills, and being direction challenged—it was decided that T. would stay at the rescue ranch, and I would go to Ron and Nita's using Tone's Garmin GPS.

Near the end of our delicious lunch, Kinky said, "You know, we are all creatures of habit. We are set in our ways, and we can't help it. I think we should change things up more. It would be good for all of us." The three of us stared at Kinky.

"Like what?" I asked. "What do you want to change up?"

Kinky smiled. "You and Tony are going to get gas at H.E.B. after lunch, and Frank and I are going to get groceries, and then run a few errands. Let's switch it up! Nance, you go with me to run errands, and Frank can go with Tony to get gas! How does that sound?" Frank, Tone and I looked at each other.

Frank went first. "I don't mind riding with Tony." Everyone then looked at T., it was his turn.

"That's fine with me," Tone said, as he shot me a wink. Then it was my turn.

"Where all do we have to go, Kinky? I was planning on working on my book." After Kinky told me his list of things to do, I agreed to go with him. Kinky and I said goodbye to Tony and Frank as they climbed into Buttermilk. Then Kinky and I jumped into Mr. Green Jeans, and drove two hundred feet and parked in front of Albertsons to go grocery shopping.

On our way to the store, a man stopped Kinky to shake his hand. When we were close to walking into the store, a woman stopped Kinky to talk to him about a few things, so I went ahead into Albertsons, and grabbed a grocery cart. As I was picking out some fresh cut yellow flowers, I overheard a man behind the deli counter holler hello to Kink. Then another person and then someone else.

As I was being checked out, so was Kinky at the next checkout counter. Four different people walked up to him to introduce themselves and to shake his hand. Then a woman next in line, behind me, rushed past me to go meet Kinky. She was nice and gushing somewhat! She told him that she was a professor at Schreiner University, and that she was going to vote for him. After she shook hands with Kinky, she got back in line to pay for her groceries.

"You can put his groceries in my cart," I said, as Kinky was writing a check. The store manager looked at Kinky, to make sure I wasn't some kind of a nut. "I'm Cousin Nancy and we're running errands together today." Kinky nodded, and the man began putting Kinky's groceries into my basket.

"You're Cousin Nancy!" The manager said. "I know who you are!..."

When we reached Mr. Green Jeans, a man hollered, "Hi Cousin Nancy!" I turned around and saw my good friend, Les Ferguson waving at me! He's the man that keeps running into Tone and me, at H.E.B. and Walmart! I introduced him to Kinky, and the two of them visited for a few minutes. Then I gave Les a hug, and told him to tell Denise, his beautiful wife, that I had said hello, and for them to come out and see us. Then we said our goodbyes, and Kinky and I drove away.

Kinky and I ran our errands and then we came back to the ranch. Kinky had bought some fried chicken for The Friedmans and he wanted to have a picnic with Toto and my dogs today, so we went to the Lodge first. Will and Nelda helped us unload Kinky's groceries. Then Kinky needed to make a few phone calls. After that we took off for the rescue ranch.

As we passed by Hudson's and Layla's pen I asked Kinky to stop. "Kinky, you have got to meet Hudson! I am in love with this dog! And, I want you to meet Layla and Walter Matthau!" Mr. Green Jeans came to a halt, and we got out. I introduced him to Walter, first. Kinky petted him and talked to him, then he followed me back to Layla and Hudson's pen. "Kink, this is Hudson! Isn't he adorable! And this is Layla. We rescued her..."

Kinky thought Hudson was adorable, too and he tried to talk me into adopting him, as he petted the two happy dogs. "Kink, I would in a heartbeat, but it would not be fair to our old timers." On our way back to the truck, I introduced Kinky to Rosanna Dana, and he fell in love with her! Then we drove up to the trailer, so Kinky could have a picnic with Toto and our other three old dogs. Needless to say, Thunder, Hank, Little Girl and Toto ate it up, and loved seeing Kinky.

After Kinky went back to the Lodge, a UPS truck showed up outside. I was working on my book, so Tone went outside to see what was being delivered. A minute later, T. walked inside the trailer. "Nance, this package is for you. It's from Nancy Doyle. Do you want me to open it for you?" After Tony opened up the box, he handed me an hilarious birthday card from Nancy and the cutest canvas sign about Outlaw Women who really tamed the Wild West! I love it! Tomorrow, I plan to hang it in my writing cabin, above my desk, next to Yoda's picture! Thank you, Nancy and Theodora!

Y'all have a great evening!

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Breaking Up Is Hard To Do!

This morning, after breakfast, I declared a day off from my rescue ranch work, because I am determined to finish my book by the end of this week and get it published. I am also taking tomorrow off, too.

After working over four hours non-stop on it, Will Wallace came over for a visit. That's when I realized that it was past our lunch time, Tony was 'starving' and I needed to take a break. The three of us decided to go to the Chinese restaurant in Kerrville, across the street from Albertsons for lunch, because I needed to go to Office Max for a few office supplies.

Our lunch was hilarious! "What sign are you, Will?" I asked, as we waited for the waitress to take our order.

"The Dragon," Will replied. "It's the best sign of them all."

"I'm sorry to tell you, Will, but my sign, the Rabbit is the luckiest and the best. It says so right here," I said, pointing to the Rabbit on my paper place mat. Will read what it said about the Rabbit on his place mat.

"I'm sorry to tell you, Nancy, it says you're the luckiest, but it says nothing about the Rabbit being the best. The Dragon is the..."

"Are y'all ready to order?" A young, and pretty waitress asked. She was smiling at Will and he took note! He sat up tall in his chair and shot her a big smile that sorta melted her. "Which do you think is the best sign? I'm a Dragon." He said to the blushing blond.

Before she could answer him, I said, "It's the Rabbit. Will's not from Kerrville." He smiled, she smiled, he smiled, and then we gave her our order.

While we waited for our teas, and Will's Coca Cola, I teased Will about flirting with her and her flirting with him. Will just smiled and then he laughed. "It's because I'm a Dragon. Girls just can't resist me. It happens all of the time." Then our drinks arrived, along with our soups.

Tone shot me a wink, as the cute waitress flirted with Will. "So, if you're not from Kerrville, where are you from?" She asked.

"Mars!" I quipped.

"Let's just say, that I'm from Texas," Will said, twisting his moustache, as their eyes locked.

I'm sitting there thinking, 'Let's just say, you've got great pickup lines, Will and full of you know what.' After she left our table, Tony and I teased Will relentlessly!

"Will, I think she is in love with you!" Tone said. "You need to get her phone number." Will just smiled at us. Then she returned and refilled Will's glass with more Coca Cola. I think Tony really enjoyed her bending over in front of him, as she leaned across the table to fill Will's glass, that was more than half full.

A few minutes later, she served us our lunch. Throughout our lunch, when the sweet, lovesick waitress wasn't refilling Will's glass, Tony and I teased him about being a chick-magnet. All he did was keep on smiling, and telling us that it was because he was a Dragon.

After the young woman removed our plates, she delivered the bill, along with three fortune cookies. I picked up a cookie and started to open it, when Will said, "You can't pick your own fortune cookie. Someone has to give it to you. Am I right?" He said, looking at the waitress.

"I guess," she said, as she stared dreamily into Will's brown eyes. "But, I'm the one who picked them for you." Then she laughed, and refilled Will's nearly full glass of Coke, again.

By now, I'm positive that Will had drank over a gallon of Coca-Cola, but he lifted his glass to her and said, "Pick mine for me, please." She did as she was told, and then Will picked mine for me, and then he handed Tony his.

"I've never heard of that, Will," I said. Then we read our fortunes aloud. They were okay, but nothing special, even if we added the words, 'in bed,' to the end of them.

After paying the bill, I filled a Styrofoam container with three fourths of my uneaten meal, then it was time for us to leave and for Will to break up with his new wannabe girlfriend.

I felt sorry for her, because breaking up is hard to do, but Will was cool with it. After she asked him if he enjoyed his meal, he replied, "Yes. It was fine." Then the three of us walked out of the restaurant. Tone and I teased Will as he escorted us to Trigger.

"Bye Will. See you at the ranch!" I said.

"Nance," Tony said, as we waited at the signal light, to cross over 16, to go to Office Max, "That waitress was in love with Will! She only gave us one refill of tea!"

"That's because we are old, Tony" I said.

When we got back to the ranch, I spent the rest of the day working on my book and I have gotten so much done! Hopefully, by the end of tomorrow, I will be ready to print it out and take it to Sheryl Eddins to be edited!

P.S. Kinky is coming back to the ranch tonight, and he is doing Imus tomorrow morning on the Fox Business Channel! I hope that you can catch it! I can't wait to see Kinky!

Y'all have a great evening!