Sunday, April 28, 2024

Episode 30: The Jerk!

Please note that I am dedicating this 6.5 minute podcast to my dear friends Clive & Curtis, in the beautiful Texas Hill Country. And I hope that it makes them and you laugh out loud. And if you want to listen to this podcast please click here on: The Cousin Nancy Show or click on the The Cousin Nancy Show on the right side bar 👉

Now I am going to tell you a funny, true story about the non-profit Utopia Animal Rescue Ranch that Tony & I and our dear friend Kinky Friedman co-founded in 1997 and operated until we decided to retire and shut its doors in 2018. 

Back in 2007, on a beautiful spring morning, a church group of about twenty young children, along with a few adults, came out to the rescue ranch to let the kids do community service for us for a couple of hours. But because the children were so young, we decided the safest thing for them to do, was to let them remove the rocks from our huge pigpen. 

The kids instantly fell in love with our rescued pigs. And they were disappointed when their work was completed, and it was time for them to leave our rescue ranch. In fact, one of them even started crying and begged to live at the rescue ranch and I guess live with the pigs.

Anyway while the parents were loading up the children into their vans, trucks and cars, one cute little seven-year-old girl pointed over to our pigpen and screamed, “Look at that pig! What is he doing?”

Everyone looked back toward the pigpen and then gasped at what they saw! The children were laughing and screaming with delight, but the parents were more than mortified!

Apparently after we had left the pigpen, a three-hundred-pound black-and-white-spotted wild hog had wandered up to the pig pen, because of Alice, one of our new sows that was in heat. 

And this wild hog was outside of the pigpen, standing up on his hind legs, leaning on the fence trying to get Alice’s attention! From where we stood, it looked like male wild hog was doing that popular Sixties dance—the “Jerk!"

As Tony took off to run the “lovesick” hog off, I was thinking fast! I told the smiling children, “Oh, he’s just dancing. That’s our neighbor’s dancing hog. He loves to dance.”

With the children inside the vehicles, laughing hysterically at the "dancing" wild hog, the parents quickly thanked me, jumped into their vehicles and quickly sped away! 

That wild hog made several more visits to our pigpen during that week, and he did do a lot of dancing, so to speak. And fortunately for us, Alice didn’t feel like dancing with him and we got her spayed soon after that. But unfortunately for us, that nice church group of kids never returned to the rescue ranch to do volunteer work.

Now it is My Thought For Today Time!

And it is ten simple words to live by—Always forgive your enemies, because it messes with their heads.

Now it is Make Me Laugh Time!

If you have 13 apples in one hand and 10 oranges in the other, what do you have? Big hands.

Now here are a couple of bar jokes for you:

What did the man say when he walked into a bar? Ouch!

The past, present, and future walked into a bar. It was tense.

A few days ago I was watching some Johnny Carson Show reruns.

In fact, I watched an hilarious episode where Johnny interviewed the late great Robin Williams.

And to say the least I loved Robin Williams and his humor. He was absolutely brilliant. 

So I am going to try to tell you one of my favorite jokes that he told Carson on that episode.

Robin Williams was wearing a straight face when he looked at Johnny and told him, “I suffer from dyslexia.

As a kid I was the only kid on my block on Halloween that would go—Trick or Trout!

And the neighbors would go—Here comes that Williams boy—Better go get some fish.”


Rodney Dangerfield is another great comedian that I loved. And one of my favorite jokes that he told is:

When I was a kid my Dad didn’t like me. He gave me my allowance in traveler’s checks.


And this concludes this segment of Make Me Laugh Time. 

I do hope that my podcast has made you laugh at least once, but if it didn’t—who cares!

Thank y’all for listening. And please remember my favorite quote;

Life is short and so am I! Take care Curtis & Clive and y’all keep on laughing!