Tuesday, March 26, 2024

Episode 29: People Who Need People!

Please note that I am dedicating this podcast to my dear friend Felix M., in Nevada. And I hope that it makes him and you laugh out loud. And if you want to listen to this podcast please click here on: The Cousin Nancy Show or click on the The Cousin Nancy Show on the right side bar 👉

Speaking about laughter we all know that it is a very powerful medicine. And the great news is: it is free, user friendly, it is a whole lot of fun and it makes us feel good. 

In fact, do you know that just laughing out loud immediately helps to improve our resistance to disease by boosting our immune system, while removing the dangerous stress hormones and inflammation.

Laughing also protects our heart from a heart attack by improving increased blood flow.

And I especially love this benefit of laughing. Researchers have discovered that laughing for just ten to fifteen minutes a day can burn approximately 40 calories—which calculates to losing three to four pounds a year. 

And I love this good news, because if I start laughing approximately four to five hours a day non-stop—I could maybe reach my weight goal within a year. 

Or else I might wind up in a straight-jacket and looking forward to having weekly visits from Tony, family and friends—at the local crazy farm. 

And in Norway scientist have recently proven that people with a strong sense of humor outlived those who don’t laugh as much. 

So the bottom line here is simple: Laughter helps us to live longer.

And this is why from now on I plan to start doing only 10-15 minute podcasts which will include at least one humorous story and a few jokes—just to help make all of us laugh just a little bit more.

Now it is—My Thought For Today Time!

Everyone knows and loves that beautiful song People, made popular and sung by the fabulous Barbra Streisand.

Well, I was thinking about that song the other day while Tony & I were outside, on the porch, making our very first wind chime made out of flattened spoons, forks and knives.

And while Tony was pounding another spoon flat, on our new, little, blue colored anvil, I was thinking, You know “People who need people” are really not the luckiest people in the world, because they obviously have serious co-dependent problems and I think that they should seek out professional help from a head-shrinker—ASAP. 

Now it is—Make Me Laugh Time!

What do you call a sad cup of coffee—depresso.

If a parsley farmer gets sued can they garnish his wages?

Our friend Fourth sent me this one: If a mob of clowns attacks you—go for the juggler.

Did you hear about the man who fell into an upholstery machine? He's fully recovered now—thank goodness.

Look who is all grown up and needs a colonoscopy.

Do you think Noah included termites on the ark?

And this concludes the Make Me Laugh Time! segment of my show.

Now I have a true story to tell you about clowns. 

Back in the early nineties, my late husband Jim and I had a successful embroidery business in Austin, well actually it was in Westlake, Texas which is a small, wealthy community surrounded by Austin.

Anyway, several small businesses, in our little strip center, shared a dumpster. And this sad, manic-depressive clown lived in our dumpster, because he was homeless, but the other reason that he lived there was because he had a part-time job during the day being a clown, in the new ice cream shop, that was located next door to our shop.

You see this professor of physics had retired from the University of Texas and he had opened up this ice cream shop, because he loved ice cream and he had always dreamed of having an ice cream store.

Sadly, this shy retired professor had no clue how to run a business and Jim and I felt sorry for him, so we tried to help him out by drumming up business for him, by telling all of our customers about his great ice cream parlor.

And every afternoon Jim and I would take a break and go next door to buy some ice cream from him and that was a disaster from the git-go. 

Because when we or any customer would walk into his shop he would offer them a free sample of his “Ice Cream Of The Day!” to taste. And it was always the same flavors— vanilla or chocolate. Seriously, he only had those two flavors all of the time.

The saddest part was he would grab a tiny, wooden, 2-inch long spoon and give you a tiny sample taste as he held the “spoon” for you. And that was always awkward to say the least.

But what was really bad was soon after his grand-opening, which wasn’t all that grand, this man soon hired that manic-depressive, clown, that lived in our dumpster, to entertain his customer’s children, “Because we all know that all children love clowns.” 

Anyway, that was a really poor business decision, because this hired clown scared the kids and the children would always flee his ice cream shop screaming and then run inside our shop to hide from the clown and to also be consoled by our three dogs—a Great Pyrenees named Bear, a Boston Terrier named Yoda and a Sheltie named Chili.

Anyway, this sad, retired professor would complain to us daily that he might have to close his shop down soon, because he had so little business. 

And he also told us his hired clown was eating up all of his profits and the clown had gained so much weight from eating all of his inventory— vanilla and chocolate ice cream—his clown outfit no longer fit him and this clown had also lost one of his big red shoes, inside the dumpster and he had demanded that the owner replace it for him, because clown shoes are very, very expensive.

And the ice cream shop owner told us that he would replace the clown’s shoe, but he had no idea where to buy gigantic, red, rubber shoes.

Bottom Line: Unfortunately within just a few days, the professor had fired that manic-depressive clown, who had been removed from the dumpster, by police and escorted out of Westlake, just one block away from our shop, to the smaller town of Rollingwood, Texas, another wealthy community surrounded by Austin. 

And you maybe asking about what ever happened to that retired UT professor/ice cream czar—and the answer is that no one really ever knew for sure, because sometime during the night he locked his shop up and never returned. Leaving only his keys and a large box of wrapped, 2-inch, wooden spoons, on his countertop. End of story.

Now folks that is about it for this podcast. But before I leave I want you to listen to the first wind chime that Tony and I have ever made.

I do hope that my podcast has made you laugh at least once, but if it didn’t—who cares!

Thank y’all for listening. And please remember my favorite quote;

Life is short and so am I! Take care Felix and y'all keep on laughing!