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Now I am going to tell you another story about the non-profit Utopia Animal Rescue Ranch that Tony & I and our dear friend Kinky Friedman co-founded in 1997. And we ran our rescue ranch until the three of us decided it was time to retire and shut its doors, in 2018.
This morning I had to clean our trailer because ABC’s affiliate, KSAT, out of San Antonio, was coming out to do a story about Kinky, his cigars, and to also see our rescue ranch.
So I cleaned our trailer until it looked like Tony and I didn’t live here. Mission was accomplished by ten o’clock.
The cameraman interviewed Kinky early this morning for about an hour over, at the Lodge, and then Kinky and the television cameraman arrived over here about eleven-thirty.
Tony, our dear friend John, and I were, in the kitchen, drinking coffee and trading funny stories when those two arrived. So Tony went outside to greet Kink and the cameraman.
A few minutes later Tony returned to the trailer and announced, “Kinky just told me that the cameraman is going to shoot him and the dogs first, and then he wants you to come outside to be interviewed and shot, too.”
I was mildly depressed by Tony’s news. Because the trailer had been cleaned up for nothing—and knowing full well that within twenty-four hours or less that it would be obvious to anyone who came inside—would instantly know that Tone and I live here.
Anyway, twenty minutes later, the three of us went outside. Kinky quickly introduced John, Tony and me to the smiling cameraman. After shaking hands, the friendly cameraman put a wire and microphone on me, and then Kinky and I strolled past the dogs in their pens as the cameraman shot us.
When we reached Jedi’s pen with her two, yellow Lab-mixed pups I went inside their pen to visit with the dogs and then to be interviewed and shot some more.
The cameraman asked me many questions, and I did pretty good until he asked me, “Do you get many calls from people wanting to bring you their dogs?”
“Yes, I do,” I said, as Kinky and John stood behind the cameraman, watching me with smiling faces. “I get about twenty calls a day from all over the country with people begging or trying to bribe me to take their dogs or cats. Unfortunately, pets have become disposable items to many people. And these people all have excuses why they want to dump their loving pets. It is very depressing.”
“Tell me,” he asked. “What is the most common excuse?”
“The number-one most common excuse that I hear, is from a young woman who is crying and begging me to please take her sweet, eight-year-old dog that she dearly loves, because her new boyfriend doesn’t like her dog—and he is making her get rid of it!”
“What do you tell them?”The cameraman asked.
Looking straight into the camera’s lens, I said, “Euthanize the boyfriend.”
Tony, Kinky, John and the cameraman all started to laugh! “That’s a good one, Nance,” Kinky remarked, as the others smiled and nodded their heads in agreement.
Feeling like I needed to explain myself a little further, I continued: “So I ask these young women,“Where are you going to be two years from now—with a creepy control freak like that? Will he be giving you permission to go outside or telling you when you can talk on the phone? Listen, if he truly loves you, he would never ask you to do something so horrible like that. Please, take my advice and keep your dog—because your dog loves you, and knows what real love is—and your stupid boyfriend doesn’t love you or even have a clue as to what love is all about.”
With that said, the interview lasted a few more minutes, and then I removed the wire and the microphone and handed it back to the cameraman. Then I returned to the trailer to return several phone calls.
This evening when the KSAT news ran the story, that television station had cut out my part about “euthanizing the boyfriend.” And that is the end of that story. Thank goodness.
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Okay. Here’s a Cousin Boomer Update for y’all:
The other day Cousin Boomer was over here and he told me that he didn't understand cloning and I told him, "That makes two of us.”
And Boomer also told me that he went to a sporting goods store last weekend to buy some camouflage pants, but he couldn’t find any.
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Now it is My Thought For Today Time!
And this is it—I think that age is something that doesn’t matter—unless you are cheese.
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Okay now it is Make Me Laugh Time! Thank goodness.
Where do fish keep their money?—In the river bank.
What do you call two ducks and a cow? Quackers and milk.
Did you hear about the cat who ate a ball of yarn?—She had mittens.
What did the cucumber say to the pickle? You mean a great dill to me.
And lastly, what did one hat say to the other? You stay here. I'll go on ahead.
And this concludes this segment of Make Me Laugh Time.
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Folks I do hope that my podcast has made you laugh at least once, but if it didn’t—who cares!
Thank y’all for listening. And please remember my favorite quote;
Life is short and so am I!
Y’all take care and keep on laughing!
Oh. Wait a second. Here is one more joke to hopefully make you laugh.
My dear friend Fourth sent me this joke that Milton Berle at 80 years-old told:
“I get sex almost ever night of the week!!!
Almost on Monday
Almost on Tuesday
Almost on Wednesda, etc.”
Adios y’all!
