Sunday, April 10, 2022

Horsepower!


Well, I have just finished doing my 15th podcast for The Cousin Nancy Show and I've titled it Horsepower! Here is a transcript of it(after my introduction) in case you would rather read it than listen to me. I do hope that you enjoy listening to it and I do hope that it makes you laugh at least once.


Please Note: Please click here to listen to it or click on The Cousin Nancy Show on the right side bar. A few weeks ago Cousin Boomer called me and he was all upset about something as usual. So I invited him to come over to drink a beer with Tony and me—in hopes of helping to calm him down. 


First off before I go any further with this Boomer update you need to know that Boomer is Polish. I'm not Polish—but Boomer is. 


Anyway, he is very sensitive about Polish jokes, because as a young kid Cousin Boomer was constantly being teased and kidded about being Polish.


So, when Boomer arrived at Big Foot Ranch he was so mad—he was spittin' nails, so to speak and he didn't want to talk about what had happened—until he had popped the top on his second, cold beer. 


This is basically what Boomer told us.


"Today for lunch I ordered a Polish sausage from this guy," and he says, "Oh, you must be Polish."


"His assumption really pushed my button," Boomer says. "So, I decided to try to enlighten this know-it-all jerk, to let him know that his Polish comment was not appreciated."


"So I asked him, "You think because I ordered a Polish sausage—I'm Polish?"


"Seriously, what if somebody came in here and ordered an English muffin? Would you think he was British?"


"This guy just stood there, staring at me and he said nothing."


Then I tell him, "What if somebody came in here and ordered Swedish meatballs? Would you automatically think he was a Swede?"


"What if someone came in here and ordered Italian meatballs? Would that make him Italian?"


"I was really on a roll and was really letting him have it, and I said, "Seriously man, what if someone came in here and ordered Canadian Bacon? Would that make him a Canadian?"


"And by now I think this guy was finally getting my point."


So, I said, "So what if I ordered a Polish sausage. Why would that make you think that I am Polish.


And this guy cracks a little smile, and says, "Well first off—Welcome to Home Depot. Can I help you find something?"


****************


Now this is a true story about a man and his Corvette and his name was George.


In March of 1962, I was 10 years old and living in Fort Worth, Texas. And our next door neighbors were George & Wilma.


They had two girls that were about the same age as Ronnie and me, so my brother and I used to play with them and our other neighborhood friend, Billy.


We always had fun. We would climb trees together, walk fence rails, play touch football, baseball, have croquet tournaments, ride our bicycles around the neighborhood, etc. And we did this after school, on weekends and during the summer months.


Anyway, one day while we were outside playing, in George & Wilma's back yard, Wilma came running outside and hollered, over the fence, to Mom & Dad, who were sitting out on the patio, drinking a beer, "George just won a Corvette convertible! Can you believe it! George won a Vette!…" 


Wilma was so excited over their good news it made all of us just as excited as she was, even though I had absolutely no clue as to what in the world she was talking about.


Anyway, after Wilma had calmed herself down a little bit, she explained to my parents that George, whom my parents thought was a wimpy nerd, had won this Corvette in a drawing held at the grand opening of the Seminary South Shopping Center—Fort Worth's first mall.


Wilma told my parents that George was on his way home, so she could drive him to the Seminary South Shopping Center, to pick up his fancy, new sports car. And in all of her excitement she invited Billy, Ronnie and me to go with them, in their family station wagon.


A few minutes later, as soon as George had pulled into their driveway, we quickly piled into the station wagon and took off. Their girls rode in the backseat and Billy, Ronnie and I had to ride in the back cargo area.


And I would say that this was probably about the time this Corvette story peaked for poor, old George.


Because George quickly found out that, "Yes," he had won a Corvette, but it was not actually a car—it was a miniature version of a red Corvette, convertible made for kids to drive and the weight limit for it was 100 pounds. 


Needless to say George was more than disappointed, not because he weighed over 200 lbs. and would never be able to drive his own Vette.


He was upset, because he knew that he would still be driving their old, station wagon back to work everyday, instead of America's favorite sports car.


But us kids were all excited and thrilled, because none of us weighted over 100 pounds! And we could not wait to take George's Corvette out for a spin.


Anyway, after two nice men from a local radio station had helped George load his Corvette, into the back of their station wagon—we drove home in silence. And to say the least, "Billy, Ronnie and I were a little bit cramped, but we never complained."


When we arrived back at George & Wilma's house all of the nearby neighbors had gathered, in their front yard, to celebrate George's good fortune and to see his new, shiny red, Corvette convertible. 


And the neighbors' faces had all turned into frowns, by the time they had helped George drag his sports car, out of the back of the family's station wagon.


A few days later on a Saturday, George filled up his Corvette's gas tank and let all of us take turns getting to drive it around the elementary school's parking lot. 


So to end this story on a positive note I guess it would be safe for me to say that I have driven a Corvette, even though it really wasn't a car.


And I bet that a few years later, after George and his family had moved away from our neighborhood, he would brag to his new neighbors that he had once owned a shiny, new, 1962 red, Corvette convertible.

***************************


Now it is time for a couple of Corvette jokes. So here goes:


I saw my boss pull up in a brand new Corvette. I said, "Wow that's a really nice car, boss!" He told me "thanks, and just remember you keep working hard every day and I'll be able to buy a second one!"


****************************



Now here's a Corvette question. What do you call a Corvette following a Camaro at high speeds?

Chevy Chase.


Folks, thank y'all for listening and I do hope that my podcast made you laugh at least once. And please always remember my favorite quote: "Life is short and so am I!"


Take care and keep on laughing!

Thursday, March 3, 2022

Episode 14: The Cravotta's Close Encounters of the Famous Kind!

 I had one heck of a good time interviewing Tony's and my dear artists friends: Liz & Jim Cravotta for The Cousin Nancy Show's 14th episode.

Tony and I love Jim & Liz and we have know these two, extremely talented artist for nearly thirty years. Over the years the Cravotta's have helped out our Utopia Animal Rescue Ranch many times and they have even adopted a dog from us, Arkey Blue Heeler and they also helped us get many of our dogs adopted to great homes.

In this super fun interview I had with Liz & Jim they told one hilarious story after another about how they met, their first date, their world famous wedding, "The Great Hippie Wedding of 1975, in Montague County" and many other fascinating stories about their famous friend Burt Finger, Liz's close encounters with the Beatles and the Rolling Stones and Jim's close encounter with the Kennedys, etc. And we also discussed Liz's art and her fabulous cards and Jim's whimsical Bare Bones Sculptures.

At the end of the interview I suggested that everyone check out this blog, so they could see some of  the Cravotta's world famous art and sculptures, their popular Space #42 inventory, at the EAST END MARKET, in Kerrville, owned by Cindy & Rick Burton and managed by their always smiling, friendly store manager Aislinn Byrne. Located @ 1712 Water Street (Between G Street and H Street). And please note that besides the Cravotta's Space #42 the East End Market also has all kinds of great collections in their huge building and some of the best vibes, in Kerrville. Please click here to visit the East End Market website.

So let's begin shall we:

First, here are a couple of photos of Liz's awesome cards and a couple of pictures of Jim's whimsical Bare Bones Sculptures:





Here are a few more pictures of the Cravotta's Space #42










Here are the links to:



And here are three pictures when we were at the Grey Goose Saloon shooting the final scenes of Longmire—Texas Style!

The first picture is Liz behind scene, holding up a prop. The second picture is of Liz & Jim talking with Little Debbie and me after the filming of Longmire—Texas Style. aThe 3rd shot is the entire cast and crew of Longmire—Texas Style that was taken on the steps of the Grey Goose Saloon.




To listen to The Cousin Nancy Show: Episode 14: The Cravotta's Close Encounters of the Famous Kind! Please click here or near the top of the right-hand side bar.

I hope that y'all will enjoy the podcast and it will make you laugh at least once of twice. And please remember my favorite quote: "Life is short and so am I."

Y'all take care and keep on laughing!

Wednesday, February 23, 2022

It's A Bird! It's A Plane! or The Pentagon!

This is The Cousin Nancy Show transcription for my Episode 13 (2-23-22) It's A Bird! It's A Plane! or The Pentagon! podcast and I hope that you will enjoy it. To listen to it please click on The Cousin Nancy Show, on the side bar. Or please click below: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1600207/10133716-it-s-a-bird-it-s-a-plane-or-the-pentagon


Episode 13 (2-23-22)

IT'S A BIRD, IT'S A PLANE! or The Pentagon!


Today I am going to tell you a funny story about my dear friend Henry B. Gonzalez, from Austin, Texas who passed away a few years ago. But 1st, before I do that I want to give you a Cousin Boomer update.


COUSIN BOOMER UPDATE:

A few weeks ago Cousin Boomer came over, because he needed to borrow a ladder from us, which I wasn't real thrilled about, because he is prone to accidents, because he isn't  the brightest crayon in the box.


When he arrived both of his ears were bandaged, so Tony asked him what happened to your ears?


Boomer told him "the other day is was ironing my Wranglers when the phone rang and by accident I picked up the iron instead of the phone."


Then I asked him "What happened to your other ear?"


And he said, "As soon as I put it down—it rang again." 


The title of this episode is:  It's A Bird, It's a Plane! or The Pentagon!


In 1986, My late husband, Jim, and I had an embroidery business in Austin, Texas or better said in Westlake, Texas. The wealthiest neighborhood surrounded by Austin.


It was a fun business and we usually had to work 7 days a week just to keep up with the demand, because we had so much business. 


The best part or most fun part of our business was working with celebrities, musicians, artists, the film industry, night clubs & bars, radio stations, etc. And not to brag, but to brag we did business with the University of Texas, Austin City Limits, Willie Nelson, the Broken Spoke, Ben Crenshaw, Joe Ely, The Geezinslaw Brothers, the Belamy Brothers, Grateful Dead, Austin Rodeo, Henry's Bar, Desert Rose Band, Jerry Jeff Walker, Asleep at The Wheel, etc. And the Pentagon.


And that is how we met one of the nicest, kindness and multi-talented man, Henry B. Gonzalez, who was one of the members of the famous Armadillo World Headquarters— Armadillo Art Squad. A group of young artists who created all the posters, handbills and print ads that promoted the performances at the Armadillo.


Henry was also an integral part in the Austin Music Scene, too. Including working with the Austin Opera House and in 2004 he was part of the founding group of the famous South Austin Museum of Popular Culture.


And when Henry wasn't doing one of those activities he was either a stage hand or a stage manager or was off touring with several national and local bands, including the late great Stevie Ray Vaughn.


Jim & I first met Henry when he came into our embroidery shop to pick up two huge boxes of Asleep At The Wheel's embroidered caps, for the band to sell and also five tour jackets for the band members. And that was the day we instantly became best of friends with Henry.


And from that day forward Henry would stop by our shop at least 2-3 times a month for fun visits. And we always loved seeing him, because we loved Henry, as did everyone who knew him. 


Henry would often tell us hilarious stories, about him being on the road with the bands and they were so funny our backs would often ache from laughing so hard. 


So now I am going to tell you one of my most favorite stories that Henry told us when he had been on the road working with Asleep at the Wheel, in Las Vegas, in 1991. It went something like this:


One night after doing a late show, Tim Alexander and a couple of other band members and Henry weren't tired, so they decided to go outside to get some fresh air, and take a walk on The Drag.


They were walking and feeling no pain when they looked up and saw down the Strip, these huge, flashing lights crisscrossing the sky, so they decided to walk down there to check it out.


It turned out to be several big search lights that are used for events and grand openings, etc. And there were all of these people gathered around, in this roped off area, in front of the hotel. And all of these people were all looking up and watching the sky.


They asked a security guard what was going on and he told them that they were shooting a scene, for the movie Honeymoon In Las Vegas, starring Nicholas Cage, Sarah Jessica Parker, James Caan and Pat Morita and then he invited all of them to join the crowd of onlookers, because they needed extras for the crowd scene in the movie. 


So they joined the crowd and looked up towards the sky, too. Then minutes later there was an announcement for everyone to look up and start applauding, because they were fixin' to shoot the Flying Elvises scene.


So they looked up and saw the plane and then they watched all of these Elvises jumping out of the plane and opening up their parachutes.


Then Henry told us that while many of the Elvises were landing on target—some of them weren't that lucky.


They watched one Elvis crash into the side of the hotel. Then another Elvis slammed into a balcony knocking over a table and chairs. And then another Elvis landed on top of the crowd and his parachute got all tangled up in the crowd…It was absolutely hilarious. And fortunately no one got seriously hurt…"


Then Jim, Henry and I all started laughing and we could not quit laughing for several minutes making silly jokes like—It's a bird. It's a plane…


Now here are a couple of thoughts that I have about skydiving:

  1. If at first you don't succeed—skydiving is not for you.


    2.   What's the hardest part of skydiving? The ground! Or slamming into a Las Vegas hotel wall or balcony.


Folks, since this podcast involves Jim's & my embroidery shop, I am going to go ahead and put it on a bumper sticker, so to speak, and tell y'all the story about us working with the Pentagon. And don't worry—it is not TOP SECRET.


Jim and I were good friends with Patrick, who lived in Westlake. He was a highly successful, powerful attorney, in Austin. And he used to love to hang out at our shop and visit with us.


Patrick was also a reservist or something like that for a high security, government naval agency that worked out of the Pentagon, in DC. 


Anyway, he had asked us to embroider a few dozen shirts and caps with this agency's logo, for some kind of upcoming event. Because he wanted to give them as gifts to his friends and team members.


We told Patrick that we could do that, but we would need to get some kind of permission, clearance or official authorization, from this government agency, and Patrick had no problem with getting us that information. Because within just a few days we had received authorization from a General that worked at the Pentagon.


Bottom Line__We embroidered Patrick's caps and golf shirts. And Patrick told us they were a big hit and in the future he would be ordering more caps and shirts, etc. 


Patrick also told us that his friend, a General, at the Pentagon, would be calling us soon to order caps, hats and jackets from us, and that we had his permission to sew them for him, because Patrick had paid for the set-up cost of digitizing the logo.


Several weeks passed by since our last talk with Patrick and his General friend still hadn't called us.


Anyway, one afternoon two, rich, obviously young-gold-digging women came into our shop with a bag of towels to be embroidered. And Jim waited on them, because I was in the middle of sewing corporate logos on Ben Crenshaw's golf shirts and I was working on a tight deadline. 


(FYI: Ben Crenshaw was a 2 times Masters Champion and in 1995, when he won his 2nd Masters tournament, he was actually wearing one of the golf shirts that I had embroidered for him, with all of his sponsor's logos embroidered on it.) 


Anyway, as I was sewing Barton Springs Country Club logos or Nextel's or one of Ben's other sponsor's logos on Ben's expensive Bobby Jones' golf shirts— I watched these two, rude women giving my husband a hard time and talking down to him—like he didn't know a thing about embroidery and I was getting madder by the minute.


I wanted to stop sewing and go over to the counter and handle these two, obnoxious, you-know-what, but I had to keep sewing.


Anyway, minutes later, as they continued to waste Jim's time, because she was unable to make a thread color decision, our telephone rang. So I paused the computer and I answered it. "PDQ. How may I help you?…Yes, please hold for just a moment." It was the General.


Then I loudly interrupted one of the women and I said very casually, "Excuse me Jim, it is the Pentagon, again. I'll take over with your customers, because the General said it was very important."


Oh my goodness, you should have seen the shocked expressions on these two women's faces. And I am pretty sure that they were thinking—"The Pentagon calling? What? Who are these people?" 


Within three minutes, as Jim was quoting the General the price for his caps and shirts order, I had finished taking the woman's embroidered towel order. And I am embarrassed to admit this, but I charged the snob double the regular price. 


Because Jim & I used to always brag to our customers and friends—that we never posted our prices—because we charged by the attitude.


And that is about it for today's podcast. But before I leave, please remember my favorite quote—"Life is short. And so am I!"


For pictures and more information about the late, great Henry B. Gonzales, please go to www.cousinnancy.com and click on the link to my blog. 


And lastly, I want to say, "Dear God, please bless Henry B. Gonzalez, because he was a true friend of mine and I will always love him." 


Y'all take care, keep on laughing and thank y'all for listening!


https://www.awhq.com/henry-gonzales/





 https://www.legacy.com/us/obituaries/statesman/name/henry-gonzalez-obituary?id=8919718

https://www.awhq.com/henry-gonzales/













































Friday, January 21, 2022

The Cousin Nancy Show is ranking very well in Netherlands!

 Today I received this e-mail and I opened it, because of the subject line:

The Cousin Nancy Show is ranking very well in Netherlands!

 After reading the message below, it made me feel good, so I want to share it with y'all. 

"Hello, how’s it going?

Hope all is well.

I have some cool information that might interest you.

Your podcast The Cousin Nancy Show has good performance in Apple Podcasts rankings (last 30 days):

  • Position 127 in the category Comedy Interviews (Netherlands)

This data is provided by podstatus.com.

Happy Podcasting!

Carlos,
from Podstatus."

So I am more than thrilled to know that The Cousin Nancy Show is ranking so well in Netherlands. And I do want to thank everyone around the world who listens to it. 

Now I must go, so I can let my dear friend, Simone de Vries, know about this good news.

Take care and keep on laughing!

Wednesday, January 12, 2022

Episode 12: Guess Who Is Coming To Dinner!

 In Episode:12 podcast—Guess Who Is Coming To Dinner, I tell the story about the time Kinky Friedman called me at the Utopia Animal Rescue Ranch, to ask me to please cook dinner for him and the famous Christopher Hitchens, one of the best known journalist in America, and for Hitchens' camera crew, and for our dear friends Sandy & John Wolfmueller.

It was the fall of 2004, and unexpected when, late in the day, Christopher Hitchens and his camera crew came out to Kinky's ranch to visit and interview him for a documentary that Hitchens was currently working on.

The documentary Texas: America Supersized can be viewed on YouTube, so if you are interested in watching it please click on Texas: America Supersized.

I had a lot of fun doing this podcast and besides telling that funny story about that night, I also included a Cousin Boomer update and a funny newly wed joke to make you laugh even more.

To listen to my 12th podcast please click on The Cousin Nancy Show or on the upper, right-hand side bar The Cousin Nancy Show.

Y'all take care and keep on laughing! And always remember my favorite quote: "Life Is Short And So Am I!"

Monday, January 3, 2022

Episode:11 The Frequent Flyer!

In my11th podcast—The Frequent Flyer, I had a blast interviewing my dear friend Simone de Vries. I have known Simone for over 20 years and she is a famous international award-winning documentary-film-maker. And Simone is also an International Emmy Award nominee.


Simone's documentaries have allowed her to meet many celebrities. Some of these famous people that she has met or spent time with and/or interviewed include: Kinky Friedman, President Bill Clinton, Lyle Lovett, Willie Nelson, Robin Williams, Rutger Hauer, John Callahan and the Queen of Netherlands just to name a few. And, of course, me, too!

For more information about Simone de Vries her website is: http://www.simonedevries.nl
Or you can check her out on my website www.cousinnancy.com and follow the link to my blog: www.cousinnancy.blogspot.com

To listen to my fun interview with Simone de Vries please click here: The Cousin Nancy Show or on the upper, right-hand sidebar.

Happy New Year to all of y'all! And keep on laughing!

Saturday, December 11, 2021

Episode 10: The French Connection!

 I know that it has been a while since I last blogged or did a podcast, but I just wanted to let you know that I just published Episode 10: The French Connection. And you can check it out here at this address:

The Cousin Nancy Show

Or just click on The Cousin Nancy Show on the right-hand side bar to listen.

In Episode 10: The French Connection I talk about my newest favorite author: Louise Penny and being instantly hooked on reading her bestselling series of Chief Inspector Armand Gamache novels. http://louisepenny.com


Then I talk about my funny experience taking French in high school followed by a couple of Cousin Boomer updates.


And I hope that you enjoy this podcast and it will make you laugh...