Three minutes later, after Tone had done an autopsy on George, he pronounced my dear George dead and I was so sad. "I can't believe this. George was only two-months-old, Tony and he was your early-bird birthday present to me," I said, "Tony, I loved George. I don't know what to do." But, Tony did—thank goodness.
He slowly opened the cabinet door and pulled out my red, Paula Dean, but sadly Mad-In-China, skillet and said, "Use this."
"I can't Tony. It's too soon after George's passing and we haven't even buried him in the trash, yet." Then we burst out laughing and then I cooked our delicious lunch.
During lunch Tony suggested that we go to Wal-Mart and try to get a refund or replacement, so after lunch I called the store. "Hello, this is Nancy. On August 23rd, my husband purchased a fancy George Foreman Grill, for an early birthday present for me, because I am going to be sixty-years-old in a couple of weeks."
"Yes."
"Well, George is dead and we can't find our receipt, but I still have the box he came in, because I have been storing some pre-cut up boards I use to make my little shrines for my made up saints. Unfortunately though, I have only made one so far, because I have been so busy. And..."
"Ma'am, we can replace it for you, since you have the box..." When I turned off the phone I happily grabbed a black trash bag, from under the sink and went to my office, where George's box was— complete with its original packing Styrofoam.
After emptying thirty-to-forty little pieces of wood into the bag, I took the box into the big room, so I could bury George properly. "You were a great grill, George and I loved you and I will never forget you," I joked, as Tony and I wrestled with his Styrofoam packing, because no matter how many times we tried to bury George—he kept sticking out of his coffin. So, we finally gave up and let George have an opened casket. Then Trigger took us to Wal-Mart.
In the parking lot, all kinds of people stared at us and gave us weird looks, as Tony stoically carried George's opened casket to his final resting ground—an empty grocery cart. Customer Service was great about replacing George, but unfortunately, when we went to get George's twin brother—they were out-of-stock, so Wal-Mart gave Tony one of their store Gift Cards for the amount George had cost Tony and we were happy, even though in our hearts we knew that there will never be another George, as great as him, because he is and was irreplaceable.
Rest In Peace, George
August 23, 2011 - October 5, 2011
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