Book Signing!

Ten minutes ago, I went outside to ask John, to please sign Mari's copy of his book, "Velma the Vomiting Vulture!" Tony and I will be going to Kerrville later today to run some errands, and we will drop it off at Wolfmuellers Books.

California Votes!

Last Thursday, I received an e-mail from our friend, Kurt, out in California. He wrote to tell me that he and his family loved reading John’s book, ‘Velma the Vomiting Vulture!” And, Kurt went on to tell me that they had ordered Miles of Chocolate, that Ben and his partner, Miles, make, and he wrote that he and his family loved Miles of Chocolate, as much as they loved “Velma the Vomiting Vulture! Then he asked me to tell Kinky, hi.

Busy, Busy, Busy!

I have been more than busy out here, this week, and so have Tony, John and Kinky. I plan to blog this weekend to catch everyone up on what's been going on. And, I apologized for not blogging much this week, and my excuse, of course—is the full moon! I have great news about, "Velma the Vomiting Vulture," Miles of Chocolate, the six new dogs that we have rescued this week, Willie Nelson and much more! Manana!

P.S. Since yesterday, Kinky and I have played pool on three different occasions. And, as of this evening the results are in: The Hummingbird Man—3 and Cousin Nancy—0!

Velma's Back!

This morning, Ellen Cooper called and left a message on the machine. “Could y’all get John to call me. I want to buy a copy of John’s book, “Velma the Vomiting Vulture," for my grandson, Taton.”

Later that morning, we caught John outside, and asked him to call Ellen about buying one of his books. John called Ellen and told her that he would give her a copy for free. They bickered back and forth—and John finally won—she was getting his book for free. After hanging up the phone, John signed his book and then went back outside to work.

A few hours later, Ellen drove out to the rescue ranch, and picked up her grandson’s book.

Around four o’clock Tony had to go to Hoegemeyers Animal Clinic, about a cat. After he had left, I phoned Kinky and he invited me to come over for a visit. During our visit, he challenged me to a game of pool.

I racked up the balls, and The Hummingbird Man shot first, then second, and then third! He was on a roll! Finally, it was my turn—I sank the cue ball. Well, in no time at all, The Hummingbird Man had sunk all of his balls and he only needed to sink the eight ball. Voila, something magical happened to me, and I started sinking one ball after another, until he and I were down to the eight ball! Guess what? I sank the eight ball and won!

The Hummingbird Man was a gracious loser, and he complimented me on my much improved skills. I was so excited about winning, I came home to tell Tony, my good news, but he wasn’t back from Kerrville, yet.

As soon as Tony had parked the Explorer in front of our trailer, I rushed outside to tell him that I had beaten Kinky, and it hadn’t been by default like all of the other times! Tony was happy for me.

Around six o’clock, our friend Travis, from Medina, showed up at the rescue ranch because his parents, Al and Lenora, were visiting him, and they wanted to adopt one of our dogs! Talk about super animal lovers! At 7:30 this evening, we adopted out Roger Miller! They had fallen in love with him, just about as fast, as Roger had fallen in love with them! I told them about him coming back to us because he had eaten a saddle and they promised me that they would put their saddles in a closet. Another super adoption!

When Tony and I returned to the trailer, there was another message on the machine—from Ellen.
“Hi, this is Ellen, again. I loved reading “Velma the Vomiting Vulture!” After I read it, Mr. Copper read it, Charlie read it, and then my friend that is visiting read it. We all loved it and please let John know. And, please tell him thank you for the book. I can’t wait to read it to my grandson!”

Gotta Go, Gotta Go—Gotta Go!

This morning, John showed up and surprised Ben and Maribeth with signed copies of ‘Velma the Vomiting Vulture’—and they were thrilled to get a signed copy!

This afternoon, with Tony’s help, I found the time to get pictures of two more of our recently rescued dogs!

Sierra is an 8th month old Rottie mix and she is sweet as she can be. A friend of ours had called, and asked us to please take her, because it was his son’s dog and he had just left for Iraq, last week—for the second time. He told me that his son, was heartbroken about having to give up Sierra because he loved her so much, but he was relieved that we were taking her.

Last week, when Sierra came to the rescue ranch, I tried to take her picture, but because she was so sad, every picture that I took of her—broke my heart. It took two to three days for her to get happy! She is now happily running and playing in her pen, with her roommate Ms. Pepper.

Hannah Montana came to us, because some people had rescued her off of a highway! She is a small, sweetie pie. She is approximately 10 weeks old, and is currently roommates with Susie and Sam—our two Jack Russells.


Tony spent this afternoon preparing his heirloom, organic garden and tomorrow, with the help of John, and Ben—who still has the flu, are going to help him plant our heirloom seeds!

This year, Tony has decided to plant ten different varieties of tomatoes and jalapenos! Kinky, John, Ben and I love Tony’s homegrown tomatoes and jalapenos—and we can’t wait to eat them! They are so delicious!

Well, I just got off of the phone with Jennifer Pryor (Richard Pryor’s widow in Los Angeles) and we are fixin’ to help her rescue two dogs in an emergency situation! Gotta go!

Sleepless in Medina!

Greetings everyone! It’s official—we’re all well! Being sick makes me sick! I just can’t stand it.

Yesterday afternoon, we had fun. Our friend, Cindy Lou Ruffino, author and artist, came to see us, all the way from Spring, Texas—along with her son, Josh and his better half—Elizabeth. Cindy Lou had three reasons to come to the rescue ranch. One—to meet us in person and to see our rescue ranch. Two—to give me the cement plaque that she had made for Yoda’s grave. Three—to pick up John Kemmerly's autographed book, ‘Velma the Vomiting Vulture’— signed by him to her new grandson, Jamie!

When they arrived, the first thing Cindy Lou did—was to give me Yoda’s custom grave marker, and I absolutely loved it! In fact, it actually looks just like her—not Cindy Lou—Yoda! After that we all came inside the trailer and had a brief visit, which included giving Cindy Lou her signed copy of John’s book that she had won in my contest.

Following that, we went back outside to Yoda’s grave site, and placed the beautiful tombstone between the flying pig and The Eternal Squirrel. Then we took pictures, and yes—I did tear up.

After that, we went over to the Lodge to see Kinky. Kinky visited with everyone, and then he suggested that Josh shoot a game of pool with the Medina Bulldog, so he could make some phone calls. Josh didn’t have a nickname, so I quickly gave him one—the Spring Chicken!

When the game started, Cindy Lou and I went outside, so I could show her the ‘Friedman Family Bone Orchard.’ Cindy Lou was impressed with the little cemetery, and she took pictures of it. Then Kinky came outside to visit with us, and to throw a few balls for Mr. Magoo to retrieve.

When the Medina Bulldog and the Spring Chicken came outside—the game was over—the Medina Bulldog had lost! And, Kinky relentlessly teased Tony about it.

Before leaving, Mr. Magoo, found one of his chewgars in the yard, that ‘Erb and Karen had given to him on their January visit! Gooie began running around the yard with the big chewgar sticking out of his mouth! He looked like he was smoking one of Kinky’s cigars! It was hilarious!

We then returned back to the rescue ranch and had a great visit, and hated to see Cindy Lou and her crew leave!

Note: Cindy Lou’s latest book, ‘Out of A Texas Mist’ will be coming out soon, and you can check it out at: cindylouruffino. com

Today, we finally received some welcomed rain! When I woke up this morning at 8:00—it was pouring outside! And, I for the second day in a row, had overslept, again! I am having a lot of trouble—adjusting to the new time change, and I plan to use the alarm clock for tomorrow or else move to Arizona tonight.

Around ten o’clock this morning, which use to be 9:00 a few days ago, I drove over to visit with Kinky. During our visit, I realized that today was Tony’s and my anniversary. Nine years ago, Tony and I said our ‘Do’s’ at my ranch over in Utopia, with all of our dogs, cats, and rescued dogs—as our witnesses! Gosh, time has flown.

When Tony and John had finished with the dogs, they came inside the trailer. “Tony, do you know what today is?” I asked.

Tony looked at his watch and thought for a few seconds, “Our anniversary?” Tony asked, wearing a sheepish smile.

“Yep,” I answered, and then we broke out laughing!

Tony took me out for lunch today, to celebrate, and then we went to Home Depot to buy dirt for his heirloom, organic garden! Happy Anniversary, Tony! I love you!

P.S. Ann K. won a copy of John's book and I mailed it out last week—Priority Mail. Today, her package was returned to me for postage! Yes, I had forgotten to put the stamps on it! I remailed it today with postage, and I'm blaming the flu!

And the Winner is!

Congratulations to all four of y'all! John has graciously decided to give all of the four participants in the contest— a free copy! You're all winners! And, anyone who would like to buy a copy of the best children's book ever written—go to Wolfmueller's link on this blog to order your copy now or call Jon, Sandy or Mary Jo at 830-257-7323 at Wolfmueller's because they have plenty in stock! I promise that you will love the book and fall in love with Velma!

All four winners please call me at 830-589-7544 so I can get your addresses and how you would like to have John sign your book!

The contest is officially closed.

P.S. Jon Wolfmueller is waiting for your call!

Velma Contest!

This morning, when I saw John, I told him about me loaning Kinky his book, ‘Velma the Vomiting Vulture’ to read. I gave Kinky a twenty-four hour time period to read it. Yesterday when I went over to the Lodge to get my book back—Kinky had read it, liked it, and wants to send a copy to his editors!

John was once again amazed. Then he told me that his mother, Mary, had sent him several copies of his book, and he wanted to give me a few copies to share with my friends. I told him that I only needed one copy. And, that was a bold face lie.

I lied, because I am fortunate to have more friends than you can shake a stick at, and I would have needed more than a hundred copies, and I wasn’t about to ask John for a hundred free copies of his book.

John went to the van and gave me one book, and then he went back to work, and I came back to the trailer—and then it hit me! I’m going to have a contest, and the winner will receive a signed copy of ‘Velma the Vomiting Vulture!

Anyone can enter—except John’s family and the NoMads, because they already have a copy and love the book! The contest will last for twenty-four hours—starting now! And the winner will be posted at noon, tomorrow! John, Tony and I will be the judges. When the winner is announced, I will need for the winner to call the rescue ranch at 830-589-7544 asap—to give me their address and how they want John to sign it.

All that you have to do is write a comment on this blog, telling me, in twenty-five words or less, why you think you deserve to win the free copy of “Velma the Vomiting Vulture.” That’s all there is to it—so do it. I can’t wait to read your comments!

P.S. John is going to kill me when he reads this and finds out what I’ve done! Laugh out loud!

Velma the Vomiting Vulture—Rocks!

John's book arrived today! It is fantastic! NoMads you're going to love it!

Gumbo—Dumbo!

Yesterday afternoon, while I was outside, John came up to me, and told me that he had something to give to me from his mother, Mary. He handed me a heavy plastic sack. I opened it, and was shocked at what I saw inside!

“I told Mom about you wanting a good gumbo recipe,” John said. “And, she sent me this—to give to you—along with her secret family recipe.”

“Good grief, John—that is so sweet of her,” I said. “I just love her. I will e-mail her a thank you note, later today. In fact, tomorrow morning, I’ve got to go to Kerrville and I’ll fix Mary’s Gumbo recipe for lunch tomorrow.”

This morning, Ben and John decided to join Tony and me for some coffee, before going to work outside. “Ben,” I said. “Look what John’s mom sent to me. She sent me two big shaker’s of ‘Tony Chachere’s Instant Roux,’ and a shaker of ‘Tony Chachere’s Creole Seasoning’—along with her family’s secret recipe for gumbo!” I picked them up, and handed them to Ben. Then I picked up a small shaker of Gumbo File that Mary had also sent in her care package to me.

“John,” I said. “In your mom’s note, she wrote that some family members like Gumbo File, and some don’t. What do...”

John burst out laughing! “Filet,” John said. “It’s not file, like in file cabinet. It’s pronounced— filet.” Then he, Tony and Ben started laughing!

“John,” Ben said. “She pronounced Merlot as Mer-Lot, as in parking lot.” We all started laughing, again.

“In Fort Worth,” I said, in my defense, “the word ‘file’—is pronounced file. There’s no accent mark—or ‘t’ added here on this label—it just simply reads— file. You're telling me that people in Louisiana say things like: ‘Go filet this in the filet cabinet? It says file, John. No ‘t’. Sorry, I’m not buying it.”

“Nancy, you mispronounce everything. It’s because you’re from Fort Worth,” Tony chimed in. “You call pliers—plowers!” Another wave of laughter went around the kitchen.

“Okay, okay guys,” I said. “John do you like file in your gumbo?” I purposefully pronounced it like— file cabinet.

“Not really,” John said. Then they went outside to go to work, and I took off in Buttermilk—headed for Kerrville.

When I returned from Kerrville a few hours later, with all of the ingredients needed for Mary’s gumbo—I got busy in the kitchen. An hour or so later, I went out to the porch, and clanged the dinner bell, and the guys came running! They were hungry!

After everyone had served themselves, and had started eating, I asked them what they thought of my first gumbo attempt. Ben and Tony told me that it was great! That made me so happy!

“Nancy,” John said. “This is soooooo much better than my mom’s! I’m not kidding!”

(LOL, Mary, just kidding. I know that you’re reading this, and John really didn’t say that! It was Ben’s idea for me to write that—and so I did. We got you!)

I was thrilled with the gumbo being such a success, and seeing the four empty bowls—proved it! After putting the dishes into the sink—to soak, I opened a card addressed to Tony and me —from Mari Bailey, our good friend, and member of The NoMads!

I opened the card and read out loud to the guys—what Mari had written. “What a hoot your blog is! We NoMads have had a blast reading it, and we (with we underlined twice) have a copy of ‘Velma, the Vomiting Vulture’ coming, too! We wanted to let you know that...”

“What?” John said. “They bought a copy of my book, too? I don’t believe it. Let me see that card.”

I handed the card to John. He read, what I have just written above, of what Mari wrote a few days ago, and then he handed the card back to me. “They must have bought the expensive ‘Velma,’” John said, scratching his chin. “That’s amazing.”

“You’re famous, John,” Ben said. “Deal with it. You’re another famous author on this ranch.”

“That’s true John,” I said. “I just hope that I get my copy first! I was hoping that it would come today. I wish that I had FedEx’d it.”

“Nance, thanks for the delicious meal, but before I go,” John said, in a serious tone. “You pronounced Tony's seasonings last name as Cha-cha-heiress—the correct Cajun pronunciation sounds like this: Sha-she-airs. I just thought you would like to know.” Everyone laughed, including me.

“Thanks, John,” I laughed, and then quickly quipped. “I’m just going to call it ‘Tony’s!’”

P.S. Mary, thank you so much for sending me the great gumbo recipe, and the ‘Tony’s’—and you can go filet this with your other correspondence! Peace and Love to you and Richard, cousin nancy

Cock-A-Doodle-Don't!

Kinky returned late last night to the ranch. This morning, I went over to the Lodge, to drink a cup of coffee with him. During our visit, I told Kinky about John’s children’s book, ‘Velma the Vomiting Vulture.’

“That’s a great title!” Kinky said. “I want to read it. Do you have a copy?”

“Not yet. I’ve ordered one,” I said. Then I told him about it being sold on Amazon for $49.58, and before leaving the Lodge, The Hummingbird Man beat me in a game of pool!

When I arrived back at the ranch, John was fixing to take Bunny, and Buddy, aka the Ghost Dog to Hoegemeyers, because Bunny had a bad cut on her back leg—that might need stitches, and to get Buddy checked out, because he just didn’t seem to be feeling too good.

Then Carol Vail arrived to walk some of our dogs! “Nancy, I read your blog about Velma, and that is so cool! After reading your blog, I went to www.half.com—that’s where I buy all of my books, and they had John’s book there, too! And, I think you are right about timing—now days—kids love reading about stuff like that. Oh, here’s your ‘Grateful Dawg’ video that you loaned me. I loved it, and the music was incredible, and I have some farm eggs for you and Tony.”

Carol and I visited a little longer, discussing her chickens and her rooster. Her chickens lay brown and green eggs, and her rooster only crows at three o’clock in the morning. “Besides always waking me up every morning—he has this unusual way of crowing. Instead of the common—‘Cock-a-doodle-do’—it sounds more like—‘Trick or Treat!’” We both started laughing.

“That’s great,” I said. “Our rooster, Alfred Hitchcock only crows at noon.”

Carol took off to the pens to walk some dogs, and I went back to the trailer—to work. I caught up with my daily paperwork, and returned phone calls, before fixing homemade Chili for lunch. Following lunch, I took my rescued, Great Pyrenees, Mama— for a long walk.

While I was gone with Mama—Tony got busy on his computer. When we returned to the trailer Tony had some exciting news for me. “Well, I finally did what you have been asking me to do,” Tony declared.

“You vacuumed your TV room?”

“Nope. I entered a photo contest!” Tony said.

“That’s great! Which pictures?” I asked.

“The contest only allows for one entry per family, and they had rules about not being allowed to enter again for six months, so I entered my Bosco and Bunny picture—carrying the tire. What do you think?”

“I think it’s great, and I’ll bet that you’re fixin’ to win your first photo contest! I know it will win.”

I then went to www.cutestpetcontest.com on my computer. I then typed in Tony Simons—at the top of the page and it took me to a page, where the words: ‘Tony Simons—Bosco and Bunny’ appeared. I clicked on it and Tony’s photo came right up—just like the one below! I love that picture! (As if you couldn’t tell. This will be the second time that I have posted it.) Have a great evening.

'Velma the Vomiting Vulture' Has Been Shipped!

This afternoon I received an e-mail from Mondazzi.com informing me— that John's book that I ordered from Amazon, has been shipped from the Mondazzi Book and Bead Warehouse in Conneticut! I can't wait!

John Has Left The Building!

Thank goodness—John Kemmerly has just left the trailer to go home! Since John joined Tony and me for lunch today—I have been anxiously waiting for him to leave, so I could sit down, at the computer—to write this blog about him!

Around 12:30 today, when Tony and John came into the trailer, after feeding the dogs and cleaning their pens—I fed them my famous enchiladas, black beans and Spanish rice! No sooner, than we had sat down to eat—John and I started talking about our shared passion— writing.

“What’s the name of the children’s book that you wrote?” I asked. “Tell me about it.”

“I wrote my children’s book and self-published it in 2000. That was a long time, ago. It’s about vomit.”

“Vomit?” I asked, while there was still food in my mouth! Then Tony, John and I started laughing, and milk nearly came out of my nose! “Maybe we should talk about your book after we finish lunch?” I jokingly suggested.

“What do you mean, John—real vomit?” Tony teased. “Which reminds me—great lunch, Nance.”

After successfully swallowing my milk, I asked, “What’s the title?”

“’Velma the Vomiting Vulture,’” John said. “It's about a friendly, attractive vulture that uses her ability to vomit to save kids who are in danger and I had an artist illustrate it for me. It’s a story passed down through generations in my family. I love the story and my family and friends liked it, too. And, the author of the famous children's book, 'Walter the Farting Dog,' did contact me, and told me that he loved the story, and he even offered to help me get it published by the big publishers—but, it just didn’t take off.”

“I love that title!” I said. “It's dynamite! And, it really sounds great. Do you have a copy that I can buy? I’m serious. I would love to read it. And, I bet the reason it didn’t take off was because it wasn’t its time. Fate, you know.”

“I think Mom still has several copies left. Everyone in Lake Jackson has a copy, and I donated the rest to M.D. Anderson—for the kids to read. In fact, M.D, Anderson sent me a nice thank you letter—telling me how much the children enjoyed reading it.”

After putting the dishes into the sink—to soak, I said, “John, let’s google, ‘Velma the Vomiting Vulture’ and see if it is still out there?”

“Okay, Nance,” John said, “but I’m sure that you’re not going to find anything.”

I dried off my hands, sat down at the kitchen table, and first went to Amazon.com. I carefully typed in ‘Velma the Vomiting Vulture’ by John Kemmerly and clicked the search button. “Oh my gosh!” I said with excitement in my voice! “They’ve got it! Look John! They have two copies of your book for sale!”

John came over to the computer and his jaw dropped! “I can’t believe this!”

“One’s selling for $25.00 and the other is selling for $49.58!” I said.

“No way!” John stated. “You’ve got to be kidding me? Where does it say that?”

I quickly scrolled down the page to where the two books were listed. “This is really exciting! No offense, John but I am going to buy the cheaper one. I can’t wait to read it!”

“No Nance,” John stated. “I’ll get my mom to send you a few copies—don’t spend your money.”

“It’s too late. I just bought it, and I should get it by Wednesday or Thursday. I can’t wait! Now I’m going to Google it!”

“Okay,” John said.

I typed in the title and we waited and watched as Google searched the internet. It came up with 14 sites about ‘Velma the Vomiting Vulture’ by John Kemmerly! “John, you’re famous!” I said. “Will you sign my copy—when I get it? I signed yours.”

John laughed. “Sure, Nance.”

“You need to sell those other copies, too,” I suggested. “Good grief—$49.58! And, maybe you ought to think about reprinting it—second edition? John you're a great writer and you write better than me.”

Then John went home and I wrote this blog. I can't wait to tell Kinky about it!

P.S. Anyone looking for a copy of John’s book, the ISBN number is 0970375409 And, good luck finding a copy!