John Has Left The Building!

Thank goodness—John Kemmerly has just left the trailer to go home! Since John joined Tony and me for lunch today—I have been anxiously waiting for him to leave, so I could sit down, at the computer—to write this blog about him!

Around 12:30 today, when Tony and John came into the trailer, after feeding the dogs and cleaning their pens—I fed them my famous enchiladas, black beans and Spanish rice! No sooner, than we had sat down to eat—John and I started talking about our shared passion— writing.

“What’s the name of the children’s book that you wrote?” I asked. “Tell me about it.”

“I wrote my children’s book and self-published it in 2000. That was a long time, ago. It’s about vomit.”

“Vomit?” I asked, while there was still food in my mouth! Then Tony, John and I started laughing, and milk nearly came out of my nose! “Maybe we should talk about your book after we finish lunch?” I jokingly suggested.

“What do you mean, John—real vomit?” Tony teased. “Which reminds me—great lunch, Nance.”

After successfully swallowing my milk, I asked, “What’s the title?”

“’Velma the Vomiting Vulture,’” John said. “It's about a friendly, attractive vulture that uses her ability to vomit to save kids who are in danger and I had an artist illustrate it for me. It’s a story passed down through generations in my family. I love the story and my family and friends liked it, too. And, the author of the famous children's book, 'Walter the Farting Dog,' did contact me, and told me that he loved the story, and he even offered to help me get it published by the big publishers—but, it just didn’t take off.”

“I love that title!” I said. “It's dynamite! And, it really sounds great. Do you have a copy that I can buy? I’m serious. I would love to read it. And, I bet the reason it didn’t take off was because it wasn’t its time. Fate, you know.”

“I think Mom still has several copies left. Everyone in Lake Jackson has a copy, and I donated the rest to M.D. Anderson—for the kids to read. In fact, M.D, Anderson sent me a nice thank you letter—telling me how much the children enjoyed reading it.”

After putting the dishes into the sink—to soak, I said, “John, let’s google, ‘Velma the Vomiting Vulture’ and see if it is still out there?”

“Okay, Nance,” John said, “but I’m sure that you’re not going to find anything.”

I dried off my hands, sat down at the kitchen table, and first went to Amazon.com. I carefully typed in ‘Velma the Vomiting Vulture’ by John Kemmerly and clicked the search button. “Oh my gosh!” I said with excitement in my voice! “They’ve got it! Look John! They have two copies of your book for sale!”

John came over to the computer and his jaw dropped! “I can’t believe this!”

“One’s selling for $25.00 and the other is selling for $49.58!” I said.

“No way!” John stated. “You’ve got to be kidding me? Where does it say that?”

I quickly scrolled down the page to where the two books were listed. “This is really exciting! No offense, John but I am going to buy the cheaper one. I can’t wait to read it!”

“No Nance,” John stated. “I’ll get my mom to send you a few copies—don’t spend your money.”

“It’s too late. I just bought it, and I should get it by Wednesday or Thursday. I can’t wait! Now I’m going to Google it!”

“Okay,” John said.

I typed in the title and we waited and watched as Google searched the internet. It came up with 14 sites about ‘Velma the Vomiting Vulture’ by John Kemmerly! “John, you’re famous!” I said. “Will you sign my copy—when I get it? I signed yours.”

John laughed. “Sure, Nance.”

“You need to sell those other copies, too,” I suggested. “Good grief—$49.58! And, maybe you ought to think about reprinting it—second edition? John you're a great writer and you write better than me.”

Then John went home and I wrote this blog. I can't wait to tell Kinky about it!

P.S. Anyone looking for a copy of John’s book, the ISBN number is 0970375409 And, good luck finding a copy!