5-22-26: Remembering 10 Years Ago.... "Longmire—Texas Style!"

 Howdy folks. This morning I realized it has been over 10 years since making the video spoof Longmire—Texas Style. The Utopia Animal Rescue Ranch volunteers, Chet O'Keefe, Lady Liz and Big Jim at the Grey Goose Saloon and friend Gerry Olert helped me make this hilarious video in hopes of making Little Debbie, my adorable, adopted, one-eyed-Chihuahua even more famous. And it definitely made her more famous! So thank you dear friends for helping me.

Thank you in advance for watching this and if it makes you laugh please click the Like button.

Longmire—Texas Style

Episode 28: On Jupiter And Mars!

I transcribed Podcast 28: On Jupiter And Mars in case you would rather read it than listen to my voice. But if you would prefer to listen to me please click here  The Cousin Nancy Show or click on the side bar👉 

Many years ago, I was surfing the channels and I decided to watch the Science channel. I've never watched the Science channel, because I nearly flunked science, in high school. Anyway, I ended up watching two episodes of NASA's Unexplained Files."

"The first show that I watched was titled “Did We Nuke Jupiter?” and it was an investigation about the possibility of NASA intentionally crashing a newly, retired, nuclear spacecraft, from the Apollo program, on Jupiter.” And to say the least it was really interesting.

So I decided to watch another episode of NASA's Unexplained Files.

That episode was about NASA having put Opportunity, one of their most sophisticated land rovers, on Mars, to roam around and take pictures of the planet, so NASA could learn more about Mars. 

So Opportunity, this unmanned rover vehicle ended up taking several pictures of something that it found on the ground, and it looked just like a half-eaten jelly donut and none of NASA's brilliant scientists could explain how this half-eaten jelly donut got there.

"Seriously, I saw the pictures taken of the half-eaten pastry and it definitely looked just like a half-eaten jelly donut and the jelly was red in color.

So, I am thinking that this red jelly donut was left there by a Martian that has a very good sense of humor.

And it makes me wonder just how long that half-eaten jelly donut has been on Mars waiting to be discovered, because that nasty stuff that they put inside those jelly donuts may take years and years to digest or it might not ever disintegrate.

Anyway, every time that I told someone about this half-eaten jelly donut on Mars I could see my friends trying not to laugh about it, including myself. But please note that all major news organizations around the world were covering this strange story, too. And it was also reported that William Shatner even wanted to know how it got there.

Anyway, today while I was surfing the Internet about that jelly donut found on Mars I discovered that on February 14, 2014 Nasa finally solved the mystery of that jelly donut. And it turns out that it was just a piece of a Mars rock that was broken off when the rover ran over it.

And you can check the story out here. And you can also see pictures of it here.

****

Okay, now it is Make Me Laugh Time—With A Little Help From My Friends!

Our dear friends Clive & Curtis sent me this one:

I just bought a pet termite. And I named it Clint Eats-Wood.

Our dear friend Fourth sent me this one:

A woman brought a very limp duck to a veterinary surgeon. As she

laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope to

exam the duck.

After a moment or two, the vet shook his head and sadly said, "I'm

sorry, your duck, Kathy, has passed away."

The distressed woman wailed, "Are you sure?"

"Yes, I am sure. Your duck is dead," replied the vet..

"How can you be so sure?" she protested. "I mean you haven't done any

testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something."

The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room. He returned

a few minutes later with a black Labrador Retriever. As the duck's

owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his

front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to

bottom. He then looked up at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head.

The vet patted the dog on the head and took it out of the room. A few

minutes later he returned with a cat. The cat jumped on the table and

also delicately sniffed the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back

on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the

room.

The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this

is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck."

The vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a

bill, which he handed to the woman.

The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "$150!" she cried,

"$150 just to tell me my duck is dead!"

The vet shrugged, "I'm sorry. If you had just taken my word for it,

the bill would have only been $20, but with the Lab Report and the Cat

Scan, it's now $150.00. 

Our dear friend Lyle, from Iowa, sent me this one:

Two blondes run into a building. And you would think that one of them would have seen it.

And lastly here are a couple of good ones that I found on the Internet:

This chicken and this egg were laying in bed together and the chicken reached over and lit up a cigarette and the egg said, “Well, I guess that answers that age old question.”

What do you call birds that stick together—Vel-Crows!

I accidentally swallowed some Scrabble tiles. So I’m worried that my next trip to the bathroom could spell disaster.

And this concludes this segment of Make Me Laugh Time. And I do want to thank my dear friends for sending me their funny jokes to help me make you laugh.

****

Our dear friend Gerry Olert, the best videographer in Texas, sent me this great video yesterday that he recently filmed, at Triple H Equitherapy—Where Horsepower Heals and it was so beautiful—it touched my heart and made me tear up. 

The title of this short, three minute video is a Magic Moment With Tad Leggett. And please click here to watch it.

 

And to find out more about this wonderful non-profit organization, in Pipe Creek, Texas, please click here on triple-h-org.

And that is about it for today. And like I always like to say near the end of my podcasts, “I hope that the jokes today made you laugh at least once and if not—who cares!”

Thank y’all for listening and please always remember my favorite quote, “Life is short and so am I!”

Y'all take care and keep on laughing!

Episode 27: Life Is Good And Even Better When It Is Funny!

In this hilarious episode I interview a couple of my favorite people—sisters: Eileen and Dean. I love these two women, because they are extremely funny sisters and their way of telling a story is like no other, because they will have you laughing from the git-go.

So grab your favorite beverage and sit back and enjoy listening to my funniest friends tell their humorous stories about a monkey and a horse named Silver, the Hell's Angels on an airplane, ghosts, a moonshiner, John Wayne's birthday celebration at the Wooden Nickel in Crested Butte, Colorado and Willie Nelson, etc.

I did not transcribe this episode, so if you would like to listen to this podcast please click on The Cousin Nancy Show or click on the right side bar The Cousin Nancy Show👉.

Our dear friend Gerry Olert took these two pictures of us standing outside, in front of my mural. Dean is on the left and Eileen is on the right and I am the short one.

And Gerry also took this one of us right after we finished doing the podcast. 

Left to right: Lisa, Eileen, me and Dean.

Y'all have a great evening and keep on laughing!

Podcast Episode: 26: Make Me Laugh Time!

In this 7 minute podcast please click here on The Cousin Nancy Show to listen or click on the side bar 👉.

This past Tuesday, Tony and I met up with our dear friends, Liz & Jim Cravotta, so we could do lunch together and catch up with each others news. And to say the least, “As always, Tony and I had a total blast seeing them.”

It was decided that we would meet Jim & Liz, at the East End Market, in Kerrville, which is Tony’s and my favorite vintage, antique store.

And just so you will know the East End Market was voted Best Antique Shop in ’22 and ’23 by the Kerrville Daily Times People’s Choice Awards. And in my opinion-you just can’t do any better than that.

We were meeting our super-talented, artist friends, at the East End Market, because Jim & Liz have two vendor spaces there and they had wanted to stop by there first, so they could add several new items to their constantly changing, unique collection of rare, vintage, one of a kind finds.

Tony and I were about ten minutes early when we arrived at the super-cool East End Market, so Tony and I greeted the friendly manager and then we went back to Liz & Jim’s area to look around. And Tony and I immediately fell in love with several of their latest finds.

Tony loved their antique, vintage Wagner Cast Iron muffin pan, that was made before the Griswold Cast Iron Company bought out Wagner’s.

I fell in love with their antique coffee grinder that still grinds if you crank it, their rare Erector Set and the super-cool plate engraved with all of the 12 astrological signs.

But what really grabbed my attention was this rare paperback book Pleasure Man written by Mae West and it was signed by her, too! 

When our friends arrived Tony and I were still looking around at all of their really cool stuff, when I told them I could not believe that they had a signed Mae West book for sale. And Jim said, “Do you know that most people now days don’t even know who Mae West was? Can you believe that?” 

And all that I could say was, “No, I can’t believe that. I guess we’re showing our age.”

After all was said and done there, the four of us drove down Water Street to eat lunch, at El Sol de Mexico, one of the finest Mexican food restaurants, in Kerr County.

When we walked inside the packed establishment, our friend Beto, their friendliest waiter, greeted us. And because almost all of the tables were already taken inside, we decided it would be fun to eat our lunch, out on their patio, because it was another one of those beautiful, sun-shiny days, in Kerrville, Texas.

Needless to say, our food was absolutely delicious and our conversations flowed with laughter. In fact, I laughed so much that my back literally began to ache. 

And to quote Albert Einstein, “Time flies when you’re having fun,” well I was having so much fun I didn’t realize that we had been out on that patio for over two hours.

Now before I try to make y’all laugh at least once, I want you to know that you can find out more about this famous couple if you listen to my Episode 14 podcast, “The Cravotta’s Close Encounters of the Famous Kind!” And I will promise you that it will be a super fun, hour long, conversation filled with interesting topics and non-stop laughter. 

Okay now it is Make Me Laugh Time, so here we go:

Number 1: If you ever get an e-mail about ham, pork, salt or preservatives—don’t open it, because it’s SPAM.

Number 2: This morning I woke up and I decided to make sure that Tony woke up with a big smile on his face. So now I can’t have Sharpies in the house anymore.

Now I am going to try to sing Number 3 for you: Like a good neighbor—stay over there.

Number 4: Well, I finally did it. I broke down and bought myself a new pair of pink cowboy boots with memory foam insoles. So now I won’t be forgetting why I walked into the kitchen, the other room, etc.

Number 5: We’ll be friends until we are old and senile. Then we will be new friends.

And Lastly, Number 6: I don’t know how people get eaten by sharks—I mean how do you not hear the music?

I want to remind everyone about my upcoming podcast that I will be doing with Tony’s and my dear friends, Eileen and her sister Dean with a live audience, in the Last Resort Studio, on February 11th. It had been originally scheduled for the 9th, but we bumped it up to the 11th, so I can make sure our house is clean and it doesn’t look like we live there. 

Anyway it is going to be so much fun that I am sure that your back will ache from laughing too much! So you might want to go ahead and buy some BioFreeze patches, just in case your back does go out.

And this just in: I have been invited to speak at the Faith & Freedom Club, with my friend Bob Bolin, Monday, February 12th. There will be a reception held from 3:00 to 4:00, at the Medina Community Library. And then from 4:00 to 5:30 Bob and I will take turns at the podium sharing our personal stories about cancer. And then I get to give a short Medina, Texas history lesson. 

And that is about it for this podcast. I did transcribe this one, too. So if you would rather read it than have to listen to me please go to: cousinnancy.com and click on the link to my Cousin Nancy blog. And to further entice you—my blog will have a few pictures, too!

I am dedicating this podcast to our dear friend Dave Crowe. He passed away a few weeks ago. Dave was a good man with many talents. Our good friend Gerry Olert and I did a really fun podcast with Dave, in 2022. And if you would like to listen to it please click on Episode: 22: “Full of Gas! or One Amazing Man!”—Rest In Peace, Dave. You were loved and you will be missed.

Lastly, I do want to thank all of y’all for listening to my podcast and I do hope that I did make you laugh at least once. And if I did make you laugh then I have done my job. But if you didn’t laugh—who cares! 

Y’all take care and keep on laughing. And please always remember my favorite quote that I came up with all by myself: Life is short and so am I. I love y’all!

Episode 22: Full Of Gas! or One Amazing Man!

I have had a blast doing this podcast: Full of Gas that was filmed entirely at Ben Silva's gas station in Staples, Texas! This super entertaining film was written and directed by my new, dear friend Dave Crowe. 

It was produced by Dean Reading and Tony's and my good friend, Gerry Olert, was the director of photography. And I do want to thank Gerry for showing me Full of Gas and for recommending that I do a podcast with Dave Crowe to discuss the making of his fabulous movie.

The talented principle actors in this humorous film are:

Dave Crowe

George Streib

Jeff Hardwick 

Andy Andersen

And the also talented supporting actors are:

Weldon Oliver

Karlin Clark

Ron Clark

Music by:

Rodney Joe Smith

Chris Burns

Catering by Brick And Blossom

Location Manager

Paul Castillo

Horse Wrangler

George Streib

Editor

Gerry Olert

Left to right: Dave Crowe and Weldon Oliver

The pict above ↑ and below↓ shows Gerry Olert setting up his cameras.

In 2000, Dave Crowe was in the famous movie Jericho which was filmed at Alamo Village, Brackettville, Texas. He had seven minutes on screen and had over 20 lines. And here are a few pictures of him in this film.

And here is a more recent photo of Dave Crowe.

And here is a photo of "Marshall" Dave Crowe taken at the Alamo Village, Brackettville, Texas.

Dave Crowe is one extremely interesting character. In fact, I could have spent a few more hours interviewing Dave Crowe about his life. So Dave has promised me to do another podcast with me when he releases his latest film Full Of Gas.

Besides being a film actor in many, many movies, a cowboy poet, an author of 9 books with more to come, he is a real ordained minister, animal lover, screenplay writer, story teller, film producer, a film director, speaker, etc., because his long list of his accomplishments never ends. Seriously, Dave is one highly intelligent, super talented or better said—"One amazing man!

After Tony took this photo of me with Dave Crowe and Gerry Olert—Dave gave me a signed copy of his book Cowboyin': Cowboy Poetry, Short Stories and a lot of other stuff.

And you can find his books on Amazon and at our dear friend, Nancy Harvey's store—Spirits Of Texas, at 1107 Cypress Street, in Bandera, Texas. And here are a few more titles of his awesome books to look for:

Ridin' Life's Many Trails

A Tale of Early Texas: Chanlers Crossing

Texas Hill Country Sage: Hank

The Adventure of Billy Joe McLister

If you would like to listen to this podcast please click here or click on the sidebar near the top of this page. And before I go please always Remember The Alamo! And please always remember my favorite quote that I came up with: "Life is short and so am I."

Y'all take care and keep on laughing!

Episode: 20: Heart Cycles!

I had a blast doing this podcast yesterday. In this super fun and interesting podcast I interviewed Tony's and my dear friends Jay Pennington and Gerry Olert of Olert & Pennington Productions about their latest award-winning feature film Heart Cycles. And please note Gerry is on the left and Jay is on the right side of the photo.

Jay and Gerry are known for making fabulous films on shoestring budgets that are high quality films that win many awards. In fact, last year I actually played a small part acting like a crazy, old woman who spends most of her time stacking rocks when not worrying about her outlaw son— in Vinegar To Honey soon to be released.

In this episode, between my corny jokes, my friends discuss their backgrounds, how they met and how they work so well together. And they also talked about the multi-talented actors/actresses and the awesome music score that has made Heart Cycles a must-see feature film.

Also after I told a corny joke about a pony I reminded Jay about the two of us both getting pictures taken of us on the same pony even though Jay's photo was taken in his front yard, in San Antonio and mine was taken in my front yard, in Fort Worth. I guess you could say at the time, "It was a small world for a small pony."

To listen to this podcast please CLICK HERE or near the top of the sidebar on the left. And please always remember my favorite quote, "Life is short and so am I!" 

Y'all take care and keep on laughing!

P.S. Please check out Jay and Gerry on Facebook, too! And please give Heart Cycles a review on Instagram and Twitter, etc.

The Nancys: One Is A Cousin & One Is The First Lady Of Bandera, Texas!

My guests are my dear friends Nancy Harvey and Gerry Olert. Nancy is the official First Lady of  Bandera, Texas and Gerry is officially the Best Videographer In Texas. And before we started recording the podcast, Tony served up his grilled, bacon-wrapped bananas and Nancy and Gerry both raved about how delicious they were.

In this fun, 40 minute, 9th episode, Nancy Harvey tells some fascinating stories, talks about her awesome Bandera store "Spirits Of Texas," her famous family, and her singing Chihuahua that will only sing when listening to Kinky Friedman sing. And Gerry kept  us aka "The Nancys," on our toes and laughing out loud—by reading some of Willie Nelson's most favorite jokes, off of the Internet. Here is a picture that Tony took of the three of us doing the podcast.

And to listen to this podcast please click here or on The Cousin Nancy Show on the sidebar →

Doing this podcast was a fun time for all of us and to find out more about Spirits Of Texas, Nancy Harvey and Gerry Olert please visit: www.cousinnancy.com and click on Cousin Nancy's Blog link, located at the top and at the bottom of the page to find links and see photos of this episode. And to check out Nancy's fabulous, all Texas store Spirits Of Texas please click here: www.spiritsoftex.com  and for information about Gerry Olert please click here: Gerry Olert on Facebook

After we did the podcast Tony and I followed Gerry and Nancy to Bandera and ate lunch with them and a couple of her friends, at the OST. Then we walked around the corner to Nancy's super store Spirits Of Texas and I took these pictures just to give you an idea of just how big and just how cool The First Lady of Bandera's store is. 

Lastly, I want to thank Tony, Nancy Harvey and Gerry Olert for helping make this an enjoyable, humorous podcast.

Y'all take care and keep on laughing!

The Cousin Nancy Show! or The Peep Show!

 Since my last post, my podcast The Cousin Nancy Show, is now available to listen to on Apple, Spotify & Google, etc. and I am more than thrilled about this.

But I am even more thrilled about doing my first podcast, Season:1, Episode:1, with my dear friend Gerry Olert—last Saturday.

In my opinion, Gerry Olert is the Best Videographer & Editor in Texas. And if you recall Gerry, is the man who was the Utopia Animal Rescue Ranches official videographer and he was the editor of the Longmire—Texas Style spoof.

Anyway, a month before I had even made The Cousin Nancy Show trailer, he had volunteered to be my  very first guest (guinea pig) for my podcast. So, right now I would like to say, "Thank You, Gerry! You made doing the podcast so much fun."

Last Saturday, when Gerry arrived at Big Foot Ranch at 1:00—I had already set up the recording equipment, in the kitchen and I had been pacing the floor for an hour, because I was so nervous about doing the podcast and then editing it. Basically hoping that nothing would go wrong with the equipment, etc.

After howdies, Gerry and I spent about ten minutes discussing what we planned to talk about while Tony stood back and took this picture of us doing a sound check.

And a few minutes after T.'s photo shoot we adjusted our headphones and then I pushed the red record button on my computer and the audio interface lit up and we started talking. 

Gerry and I chatted, told jokes, talked about our friends: Billy Joe Shaver, Kinky, Jay Pennington, Nancy Harvey, the owner of Spirits of Texas in Bandera, our dear friends at Escondida Resort & Spa, Big G, Asleep @ the Wheel, Chet O'Keefe, Jim Keaveny, the Utopia Animal Rescue Ranch, etc. ,jobs, etc. and I did so much laughing my back actually started aching. 

One of my favorite subjects that we discussed and had fun with was when Gerry gave me a Peeps taste test. Even though I did not know anything about Peeps, he had brought with him 4 packages of different colored Peeps for me to taste.

And that is when we really did a lot of laughing. In fact, I think the subtitle for my first episode should have been The Peep Show, but you will have to listen to Episode:1 to decide for yourselves.

Gerry and I talked and laughed our way through my first podcast and we had recorded 59 minutes (998 megabytes). So, Sunday morning I spent a few hours editing the podcast down to 54 minutes before uploading it to Buzzsprout for them to rss feed to Apple, Google, Spotify and many other podcast platforms. 

And as a teaser the first joke I told many of my friends are still laughing about it and telling it to their friends and families. 

To listen to my first podcast you can go to cousinnancy.com and click the Podcast button at the top or at the bottom of the page and it will take you to The Cousin Nancy Show on Buzzsprout. Or you can just click this link: The Cousin Nancy Show or listen to it on Apple, Spotify or Google, etc.

As I finish writing this post/announcement, Sunday evening, Gerry sent me this cute photo that he took of his cat, sitting on top of his desk, watching the video he took of us talking about Peeps. (Gerry brought some of his video recording equipment and he had set it up to record the show, before he and I started talking.) Gerry titled his photo:

The Peep Show.

Y'all have a great evening and keep on laughing!