It's A Bird! It's A Plane! or The Pentagon!

This is The Cousin Nancy Show transcription for my Episode 13 (2-23-22) It's A Bird! It's A Plane! or The Pentagon! podcast and I hope that you will enjoy it. To listen to it please click on The Cousin Nancy Show, on the side bar. Or please click below: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1600207/10133716-it-s-a-bird-it-s-a-plane-or-the-pentagon

Episode 13 (2-23-22)

IT'S A BIRD, IT'S A PLANE! or The Pentagon!

Today I am going to tell you a funny story about my dear friend Henry B. Gonzalez, from Austin, Texas who passed away a few years ago. But 1st, before I do that I want to give you a Cousin Boomer update.

COUSIN BOOMER UPDATE:

A few weeks ago Cousin Boomer came over, because he needed to borrow a ladder from us, which I wasn't real thrilled about, because he is prone to accidents, because he isn't  the brightest crayon in the box.

When he arrived both of his ears were bandaged, so Tony asked him what happened to your ears?

Boomer told him "the other day is was ironing my Wranglers when the phone rang and by accident I picked up the iron instead of the phone."

Then I asked him "What happened to your other ear?"

And he said, "As soon as I put it down—it rang again." 

The title of this episode is:  It's A Bird, It's a Plane! or The Pentagon!

In 1986, My late husband, Jim, and I had an embroidery business in Austin, Texas or better said in Westlake, Texas. The wealthiest neighborhood surrounded by Austin.

It was a fun business and we usually had to work 7 days a week just to keep up with the demand, because we had so much business. 

The best part or most fun part of our business was working with celebrities, musicians, artists, the film industry, night clubs & bars, radio stations, etc. And not to brag, but to brag we did business with the University of Texas, Austin City Limits, Willie Nelson, the Broken Spoke, Ben Crenshaw, Joe Ely, The Geezinslaw Brothers, the Belamy Brothers, Grateful Dead, Austin Rodeo, Henry's Bar, Desert Rose Band, Jerry Jeff Walker, Asleep at The Wheel, etc. And the Pentagon.

And that is how we met one of the nicest, kindness and multi-talented man, Henry B. Gonzalez, who was one of the members of the famous Armadillo World Headquarters— Armadillo Art Squad. A group of young artists who created all the posters, handbills and print ads that promoted the performances at the Armadillo.

Henry was also an integral part in the Austin Music Scene, too. Including working with the Austin Opera House and in 2004 he was part of the founding group of the famous South Austin Museum of Popular Culture.

And when Henry wasn't doing one of those activities he was either a stage hand or a stage manager or was off touring with several national and local bands, including the late great Stevie Ray Vaughn.

Jim & I first met Henry when he came into our embroidery shop to pick up two huge boxes of Asleep At The Wheel's embroidered caps, for the band to sell and also five tour jackets for the band members. And that was the day we instantly became best of friends with Henry.

And from that day forward Henry would stop by our shop at least 2-3 times a month for fun visits. And we always loved seeing him, because we loved Henry, as did everyone who knew him. 

Henry would often tell us hilarious stories, about him being on the road with the bands and they were so funny our backs would often ache from laughing so hard. 

So now I am going to tell you one of my most favorite stories that Henry told us when he had been on the road working with Asleep at the Wheel, in Las Vegas, in 1991. It went something like this:

One night after doing a late show, Tim Alexander and a couple of other band members and Henry weren't tired, so they decided to go outside to get some fresh air, and take a walk on The Drag.

They were walking and feeling no pain when they looked up and saw down the Strip, these huge, flashing lights crisscrossing the sky, so they decided to walk down there to check it out.

It turned out to be several big search lights that are used for events and grand openings, etc. And there were all of these people gathered around, in this roped off area, in front of the hotel. And all of these people were all looking up and watching the sky.

They asked a security guard what was going on and he told them that they were shooting a scene, for the movie Honeymoon In Las Vegas, starring Nicholas Cage, Sarah Jessica Parker, James Caan and Pat Morita and then he invited all of them to join the crowd of onlookers, because they needed extras for the crowd scene in the movie. 

So they joined the crowd and looked up towards the sky, too. Then minutes later there was an announcement for everyone to look up and start applauding, because they were fixin' to shoot the Flying Elvises scene.

So they looked up and saw the plane and then they watched all of these Elvises jumping out of the plane and opening up their parachutes.

Then Henry told us that while many of the Elvises were landing on target—some of them weren't that lucky.

They watched one Elvis crash into the side of the hotel. Then another Elvis slammed into a balcony knocking over a table and chairs. And then another Elvis landed on top of the crowd and his parachute got all tangled up in the crowd…It was absolutely hilarious. And fortunately no one got seriously hurt…"

Then Jim, Henry and I all started laughing and we could not quit laughing for several minutes making silly jokes like—It's a bird. It's a plane…

Now here are a couple of thoughts that I have about skydiving:

1. If at first you don't succeed—skydiving is not for you.

    2.   What's the hardest part of skydiving? The ground! Or slamming into a Las Vegas hotel wall or balcony.

Folks, since this podcast involves Jim's & my embroidery shop, I am going to go ahead and put it on a bumper sticker, so to speak, and tell y'all the story about us working with the Pentagon. And don't worry—it is not TOP SECRET.

Jim and I were good friends with Patrick, who lived in Westlake. He was a highly successful, powerful attorney, in Austin. And he used to love to hang out at our shop and visit with us.

Patrick was also a reservist or something like that for a high security, government naval agency that worked out of the Pentagon, in DC. 

Anyway, he had asked us to embroider a few dozen shirts and caps with this agency's logo, for some kind of upcoming event. Because he wanted to give them as gifts to his friends and team members.

We told Patrick that we could do that, but we would need to get some kind of permission, clearance or official authorization, from this government agency, and Patrick had no problem with getting us that information. Because within just a few days we had received authorization from a General that worked at the Pentagon.

Bottom Line__We embroidered Patrick's caps and golf shirts. And Patrick told us they were a big hit and in the future he would be ordering more caps and shirts, etc. 

Patrick also told us that his friend, a General, at the Pentagon, would be calling us soon to order caps, hats and jackets from us, and that we had his permission to sew them for him, because Patrick had paid for the set-up cost of digitizing the logo.

Several weeks passed by since our last talk with Patrick and his General friend still hadn't called us.

Anyway, one afternoon two, rich, obviously young-gold-digging women came into our shop with a bag of towels to be embroidered. And Jim waited on them, because I was in the middle of sewing corporate logos on Ben Crenshaw's golf shirts and I was working on a tight deadline. 

(FYI: Ben Crenshaw was a 2 times Masters Champion and in 1995, when he won his 2nd Masters tournament, he was actually wearing one of the golf shirts that I had embroidered for him, with all of his sponsor's logos embroidered on it.) 

Anyway, as I was sewing Barton Springs Country Club logos or Nextel's or one of Ben's other sponsor's logos on Ben's expensive Bobby Jones' golf shirts— I watched these two, rude women giving my husband a hard time and talking down to him—like he didn't know a thing about embroidery and I was getting madder by the minute.

I wanted to stop sewing and go over to the counter and handle these two, obnoxious, you-know-what, but I had to keep sewing.

Anyway, minutes later, as they continued to waste Jim's time, because she was unable to make a thread color decision, our telephone rang. So I paused the computer and I answered it. "PDQ. How may I help you?…Yes, please hold for just a moment." It was the General.

Then I loudly interrupted one of the women and I said very casually, "Excuse me Jim, it is the Pentagon, again. I'll take over with your customers, because the General said it was very important."

Oh my goodness, you should have seen the shocked expressions on these two women's faces. And I am pretty sure that they were thinking—"The Pentagon calling? What? Who are these people?" 

Within three minutes, as Jim was quoting the General the price for his caps and shirts order, I had finished taking the woman's embroidered towel order. And I am embarrassed to admit this, but I charged the snob double the regular price. 

Because Jim & I used to always brag to our customers and friends—that we never posted our prices—because we charged by the attitude.

And that is about it for today's podcast. But before I leave, please remember my favorite quote—"Life is short. And so am I!"

For pictures and more information about the late, great Henry B. Gonzales, please go to www.cousinnancy.com and click on the link to my blog. 

And lastly, I want to say, "Dear God, please bless Henry B. Gonzalez, because he was a true friend of mine and I will always love him." 

Y'all take care, keep on laughing and thank y'all for listening!

https://www.awhq.com/henry-gonzales/

 https://www.legacy.com/us/obituaries/statesman/name/henry-gonzalez-obituary?id=8919718

https://www.awhq.com/henry-gonzales/

Mistaken Identity & Tests!

 I have just uploaded my 6th The Cousin Nancy Show and it is titled: Mistaken Identity & Tests! And I dedicated to Tony's and my dear friend Gaby Wernette, who lives in Germany.

This podcasts includes a humorous Cousin Boomer story about taking a test and my story is about Kinky, Tony & me going to see a fabulous musical drama, at the Cailloux Theater. And in hopes making you laugh she tells a few jokes.

Below is a picture of me with my mistaken for identity—Molly Ivins. And this 1998 picture was taken back stage @ the Utopia Animal Rescue Ranch benefit we held at the La Zona Rosa, in Austin, Texas.

If you would like to listen to The Cousin Nancy Show's 6th episode (that is only 7 minutes long) please click on the link below:

https://www.buzzsprout.com/1600207/8725290-episode-6-need-to-fill.mp3

or click on the right sidebar's Cousin Nancy's Podcasts.

Y'all have a great day and keep on laughing!

The Cousin Nancy Show! or The Peep Show!

 Since my last post, my podcast The Cousin Nancy Show, is now available to listen to on Apple, Spotify & Google, etc. and I am more than thrilled about this.

But I am even more thrilled about doing my first podcast, Season:1, Episode:1, with my dear friend Gerry Olert—last Saturday.

In my opinion, Gerry Olert is the Best Videographer & Editor in Texas. And if you recall Gerry, is the man who was the Utopia Animal Rescue Ranches official videographer and he was the editor of the Longmire—Texas Style spoof.

Anyway, a month before I had even made The Cousin Nancy Show trailer, he had volunteered to be my  very first guest (guinea pig) for my podcast. So, right now I would like to say, "Thank You, Gerry! You made doing the podcast so much fun."

Last Saturday, when Gerry arrived at Big Foot Ranch at 1:00—I had already set up the recording equipment, in the kitchen and I had been pacing the floor for an hour, because I was so nervous about doing the podcast and then editing it. Basically hoping that nothing would go wrong with the equipment, etc.

After howdies, Gerry and I spent about ten minutes discussing what we planned to talk about while Tony stood back and took this picture of us doing a sound check.

And a few minutes after T.'s photo shoot we adjusted our headphones and then I pushed the red record button on my computer and the audio interface lit up and we started talking. 

Gerry and I chatted, told jokes, talked about our friends: Billy Joe Shaver, Kinky, Jay Pennington, Nancy Harvey, the owner of Spirits of Texas in Bandera, our dear friends at Escondida Resort & Spa, Big G, Asleep @ the Wheel, Chet O'Keefe, Jim Keaveny, the Utopia Animal Rescue Ranch, etc. ,jobs, etc. and I did so much laughing my back actually started aching. 

One of my favorite subjects that we discussed and had fun with was when Gerry gave me a Peeps taste test. Even though I did not know anything about Peeps, he had brought with him 4 packages of different colored Peeps for me to taste.

And that is when we really did a lot of laughing. In fact, I think the subtitle for my first episode should have been The Peep Show, but you will have to listen to Episode:1 to decide for yourselves.

Gerry and I talked and laughed our way through my first podcast and we had recorded 59 minutes (998 megabytes). So, Sunday morning I spent a few hours editing the podcast down to 54 minutes before uploading it to Buzzsprout for them to rss feed to Apple, Google, Spotify and many other podcast platforms. 

And as a teaser the first joke I told many of my friends are still laughing about it and telling it to their friends and families. 

To listen to my first podcast you can go to cousinnancy.com and click the Podcast button at the top or at the bottom of the page and it will take you to The Cousin Nancy Show on Buzzsprout. Or you can just click this link: The Cousin Nancy Show or listen to it on Apple, Spotify or Google, etc.

As I finish writing this post/announcement, Sunday evening, Gerry sent me this cute photo that he took of his cat, sitting on top of his desk, watching the video he took of us talking about Peeps. (Gerry brought some of his video recording equipment and he had set it up to record the show, before he and I started talking.) Gerry titled his photo:

The Peep Show.

Y'all have a great evening and keep on laughing!

No Bull!

Today has been great, but not to brag, not nearly as great as our Concert for Utopia was. A beautiful, saddled, Texas Longhorn steer was outside, at the event, for people to sit on and take pictures and I think everyone at the event sat on him. And that's no bull.

When Tony and I arrived at the Cailloux Theater, our good friends/volunteers. Kris and Jim were already there, willing and ready to help us unload the t-shirt and cap boxes, etc., so they could set up the merchandising table for us.

The performances by Chet O'Keefe, Billy Joe Shaver, Jesse Dayton and Ray Benson & Asleep at the Wheel were over the top and the crowd loved their music. Big G and Kinky did a wonderful job introducing the performers and they were also very funny.

Before the Intermission, Brian Kanof, with the help of our friends/volunteers:  Lisa, Eileen and Fay, auctioned off three donated items. The Wolfmuellers donated the book, Roll Me Up and Smoke Me When I Die, signed by both Willie Nelson and Kinky. Rick Reichenbach donated a Baby Taylor guitar autographed by 37 famous Texas singer, songwriter musicians. And Kinky's friend Sean donated a Fender guitar autographed by Willie Nelson.

After the Intermission, Ruth Buzzi, Big G, Kinky and I went up on the stage, so Kinky could introduce Ruthie and thank her and her husband, Kent, for coming to our concert and then I quickly thanked our super volunteers for all they do for us and then I quickly read off all of their names. Then Ruthie started cutting-up with Kinky and before you knew it, Ruthie had the crowd roaring with laughter. And to top that off—Ruthie, famously known, on Laugh In, for bopping famous men (such as Dean Martin, Frank Sinatra, Muhammad Ali...) with her purse, she used her jacket instead (Because Fay was backstage holding on to Ruthie's purse for her.) and Ruth Buzzi smacked Kinky, Big G and me. It was hilarious.

All in all, it was a fantastic concert and once again, I want to thank Donna Gable Hatch for writing those wonderful articles, for The Kerrville Daily Times, to help spread the word about our concert. Here are some pictures that Tony took at the concert. And that is about it for tonight.

Y'all have a great evening!

Tony Said Nothing!

This morning after walking eight miles with Leslie I went over to the Lodge to see Kinky while Tony did his chores outside. When I arrived Kinky was on the phone doing an interview, so Marcie and I went into the Annex and had a fun visit. Ten minutes later Kinky came over and told me that he needed to talk to me, so he and I went back over to the Lodge.

When Kinky started making some coffee he asked me to read a piece that he had written and he wanted me to give him my thoughts on it. While his General Electric percolator perked I sat at the kitchen table laughing my head off as I read his extremely funny article which is going to appear in a magazine in a few months. "Kinky, I love this!" I said. "This is one of the funniest things I've ever read. It is fantastic!" Then he told me that Marcie, Frank and Will liked it too. (Right now I am not at the liberty to tell you what his story is about or what magazine it will appear in, but when his article comes out in print I will announce it so all of y'all can read it.)

While I visited with Marcie, Frank, Will and Kinky in the kitchen, Tony showed up in Kermit. After a fun visit with everyone, when Tone and I were fixin' to leave we all came outside and I discussed the possibility of eating lunch together in Kerrville. Kink wasn't sure that he could make it, because he had several errands to run, so we agreed to try to meet between twelve forty-five and one o'clock. Then T. and I said our goodbyes to everyone. When we had just walked outside the gate Kinky hollered, "Nance, don't wait for me. I may not make it. Y'all go ahead and order..."

"Don't worry about it, Kinky," I half-hollered back. "If you're not there by four o'clock, we'll go ahead and order!" As we drove away everyone was out in the yard laughing.

Tony and I arrived at the restaurant at one o'clock sharp and we didn't see Mr. Green Jeans in the parking lot. "I'll bet he will be here within fifteen minutes," I said as the waitress showed us to our table.

"I'll bet you he's not coming," Tony said as we sat down at our table. Well, it is a good thing that we didn't bet money and shake on it, because I would have lost the bet. After we ate lunch we decided to go to Wolfmueller's Books to see Sandy and Jon and that's when we saw Kinky drive across the busy intersection which was not towards the restaurant.

"Hi, Tony and Nancy," Sandy said as we walked inside their super cool bookstore. "Y'all just missed Kinky. Seriously, he just le!ft here about two minutes ago."

"He seemed to be in big a hurry too," Jon said.

"I know," I said. "We just saw him pass by. He told us that he had a ton of errands to run. We came by to see if y'all are still going to come to the Kerrville Folk Festival tomorrow night when Kinky and I will be there signing our books."

"We can't," Sandy said. "Karl is coming to see us tomorrow night." (Karl is there son.) Then we talked about the festival and Asleep at the Wheel performing tomorrow night. Then we talked about the Chisholm Winery in Fredericksburg where Kinky and I will be Saturday afternoon signing our books. Then we talked about last night's destructive high-wind thunderstorm that hit Kerrville.

Before leaving our friends I asked Sandy if Tom D. Wells new book had come out. "I loved his first book, Strange Seasons: Summer! I can't wait to read the sequel. He is such a great writer."

"That was his second book, Nancy and the new one hasn't come out, yet," Sandy said. "I loved his first book, Drop-Ins. It is hilarious!" After I told Sandy that I wanted to buy it she went and grabbed his book off of the bookshelf and handed it to me. "I promise that you're going to love this one!" Sandy said as I paid her for the book.

As Buttermilk took us back to the ranch I drove Tony crazy, because I couldn't decide what I am going to wear tomorrow night at the Kerrville Folk Festival. "Should I wear my jeans or my overalls, Tone?"

"Wear your overalls, Nance," Tony answered. "You look cute in them."

"Tony, you are so sweet even though I know that you are lying to me. No one looks cute when they're my age thanks to Newton's Law of Gravity. It's totally impossible and I am living proof. Do you think I should I wear the pink ones or the lavender ones?"

"I don't know, Nance," he softly whined, as I saw him press his foot down on the accelerator to speed up Buttermilk so we would get home sooner.

"If I wear the pink ones I can wear my pink boots or my matching pink Crocs, Tone. But if I wear the lavender ones we will have to go to the Camp Verde General Store tomorrow so I can buy some purple or hot pink Crocs to wear with them." Tony said nothing.

Y'all have a great evening!

A Ride With Bob

This morning, I went over to visit Kinky. We started reminiscing about the past, and I remembered this story.

A couple of years ago, Kinky invited Tony and I to go with him to Kerrville, to see the musical, “A Ride With Bob,” the first ever, musical drama about the music and life of Bob Wills, starring Ray Benson, and Asleep at the Wheel!

We went early that evening, so Kinky could visit with his good friend, Ray before the show. We went to Ray’s bus and he invited us to come aboard! Kinky and Ray talked some politics and we left the bus twenty minutes later—with upgraded seats—compliments of Ray and the cast!

Before going inside the civic center, I saw an old friend of mine, Jim Finney, who was the Wheels sound man! Way back when, I used to embroider all of the jackets and caps for Asleep at the Wheel, and Jim was usually the man that we dealt with. I hadn’t seen Jim since 1995! We had a brief visit and agreed to catch up with each other, after the show.

The center was packed, and when the usher took us to our seats—I about fainted! We had the only box seats—right next to the stage!

Everybody there, was staring at us, because we had the best seats in the auditorium, but more importantly—because Kinky was there!

When the lights went down, Ray came out on the stage to talk to the crowd before the show began. “I want to say hello to my good friend,” Ray announced, just as a spotlight, from up above, shone down on the three of us. “Kinky Friedman! The next governor of the great state of Texas!”

The crowed roared with applause, and then Kinky stood up, and waved his cowboy hat at the crowd. When the applause ended—the show began. And, it was awesome!

During the intermission, about fifty or sixty people came over to our box, requesting autographs from Kinky and to wish him luck in his campaign! After ten minutes had passed, while Kinky was still busily signing away, a woman, who was probably in her early forties, walked up to me and handed me her program and a pen—asking me for my autograph.

What? Why does she want my autograph for? I thought. I politely took her pen, and wrote on her program—Nancy Parker-Simons—feeling dumbstruck. When I returned her pen and program, she said, “I love you—Molly Ivins! Thank you.” And then she vanished into the crowd.

After the show was over, Tony and I visited with Jim, while Kinky signed one autograph after another, in the lobby. Before leaving, Kinky visited with Ray and invited the entire cast to come out and see us. Then we left.

On our way back home, that night, I told Kinky and Tony about the woman wanting my autograph and Kinky almost wrecked the car, because he was laughing so hard. Kinky said, “I’m calling Molly tomorrow to tell her about this! I know it will make her laugh!”

“Well, ” I said. “I just feel sorry for that woman, because tomorrow morning, just as she is fixing to frame her Molly Ivins, signed program, and then reads my name instead, she’ll be asking herself, ‘Who is Nancy Parker-Simons?’ How sad can that be?”

The following morning—the entire cast showed up out here—and we had a blast!