Drive Careful!

Today has been a quiet day even though we are under a full moon and Mercury is you know where. This morning after I walked six miles Ben called to tell me that he was stuck in Austin waiting on some parts to arrive for his truck so his mechanics could repair his truck.

Ben was supposed to have come in last night, so he could work today and tomorrow, but last month when he had his mechanics work on his truck they forgot to tighten down the fan properly, so on his way out of town last night the un-tightened fan broke off and flew off putting a hole in the radiator, so Ben and his dogs, Valerie and Penny were stuck in the Capitol City for the night.

This morning Kinky needed a six-thirty wake-up call, but he didn't wake up, so Buttermilk took me over to the Lodge at six thirty-six to wake Kinky up. Then I returned to the rescue ranch while Tone was in Medina drinking coffee with the old timers.

Today I got a lot of paperwork done and returned many e-mails and phone calls and then I started worrying about my trip to Austin.

Early this evening Tony and I went over to the Lodge to visit with Kinky and Will while we waited for Ben and "the girls from Austin" to arrive. At one point Kinky suggested that Tony shoot a game of pool with Will, because Will had out shot him in several games and Will now held the title of Echo Hill Ranch Pool Champion.

Will won the first game. The Medina Bulldog won the second game of pool and on the play-off game for the pool championship Kinky and I discussed our plans on hooking up at the Dairy Queen tomorrow morning. By the time we had a plan set in stone for tomorrow, the Bulldog won the championship! The Medina Bulldog Rules!  After Tone snagged the title we came home so I could get ready for tomorrow's big trip into Austin and I am already getting a little stressed out about it.

When we got home I picked out which turtleneck I was going to wear with my jeans and which beautiful necklace that Karen Cares made for me. Then I started washing clothes. While the clothes were sloshing around inside Queen Bee I called the Dairy Queen in Dripping Springs to talk to the manager about my trip to see if I could possibly leave Buttermilk parked there while Kinky and I rode into Austin in his truck, Mr. Green Jeans, because I didn't want to impose on Ronnie or Cindy even though they offered to deliver me to Kinky at the Dairy Queen in Drippin'.

I'm fixin' to go to bed in thirty minutes, because Tony has promised to wake me up at five o'clock in the morning so I can calmly get ready for my dreaded day trip to Austin even though right now I am seriously thinking about canceling the trip, because I am not sure I can deal with the "weird" Austin traffic and getting home so late tomorrow night.

Y'all, I am a hermit-at-heart and I know it and so does Tone and Kinky and everyone else that knows me, so this might just be my last book signing trip out of Kerr County. I wish that I was "tough as nails," but I am not and I don't want people having to baby-sit me, so please wish me luck on tomorrow's frightening adventure, because I will need it.

P.S. Ben sent T. a note on Facebook a little while ago and the people sent the wrong part, so it looks like he will come down tomorrow. Drive careful, Ben!

Y'all have a great evening!

The Dairy Queen!

It's a good thing that I got up early this morning and walked six miles because I did something that I seldom do. My sister Cindy called me at eight-thirty. She asked me if I wanted to meet her in Fredericksburg to go look at the beautiful beautiful Bluebonnets in the Willow City Loop and then have lunch together.

Normally my response to anyone's spur-of-the-moment invite would have been, "Sorry, I can't. I have too much work to do,"because I always do, but since it was my sweet sister and it was beautiful outside and she wanted to buy a few of my books so I said, "Yes!" I think my answer shocked Cindy because there was a moment of silence. Then we decided on when and where to meet.

When I told Tone about meeting Cindy in Fredericksburg he told me his concerns about me getting lost while he helped me pack up the many books that he would mail out today. The last books I gift-wrapped were for Cindy and that is when I realized that I needed to take a pair of scissors with me so she could cut the pink ribbon and look at my book, so I grabbed these scissors and put them into my purse.

I don't know why I chose that big pair of scissors to cut a little pink ribbon, but I did. When I arrived in the Walmart parking lot at ten forty-five and parked Cindy pulled up next to me before I turned off the ignition. When I lowered the passenger window she and I started laughing, "Cindy, this is just like our trip to Port Aransas last October! We arrived at the exact same time and rode the ferry to Port A. together!" Then I quickly grabbed my camera, purse and Cindy's books and locked Buttermilk and then I jumped into Cindy's car and pulled out my giant pair of scissors. Cindy started laughing.

"Why did you bring scissors?" She asked with a laugh.

"For protection," I said. "You'll need them to cut the ribbon. After the ribbon cutting I put my old pair of Fiskars back inside my purse as Cindy complimented me on my book. Then we took off for the famous Willow City Loop which was less than twelve miles away, to shoot some pretty Bluebonnets and other beautiful flowers.

Before we even got out of the Fredericksburg City Limits we got lost and had to pull off to the side of the road and we started laughing because this always happens to us. "Don't worry, Nance," Cindy said. "I've got maps and our Garmin GPS. And, we've got plenty of  water." As Cindy hunted for a Texas map I pulled my scissors out of my purse.

"And I've got my scissors to protect us," I joked. "And I can shoot anyone who approaches us with my camera." Finally, when we realized that we were on the right road we took off again. When we turned onto the Willow City Loop there was a lot of stop and go traffic because of all of the tourists taking roadside pictures and every time we stopped and went, something on the back seat floor would roll back and forth and make a strange noise. "What is that noise?" I asked. Cindy started laughing.

"Oh, it's a big jar of calcium pills that I bought this morning, so I could write a check for some cash. And it is a really big jar! They were on sale and..."

As we caught up with each others news, admired the beautiful flowers and laughed non-stop, the pills in the jar continued to roll back and forth behind me on the floor and it would make us laugh. On our way back to Fredericksburg I asked Cindy how she pronounced the word herb because I wanted to know if she pronounced it with the "h" being silent like I do.

We burst out laughing when she mispronounced it with the "h" being silent. Then we talked about whether it was Mom's fault for mispronouncing things or if we were taught that in school in Fort Worth. Then I told her about my friends Herb and Karen and mispronouncing his name.

We ate lunch outside at the Altdorf restaurant and we laughed throughout our meal. And the food was delicious and I highly recommend it
.

After lunch we went back to the Walmart parking lot, said our goodbyes and then we went our separate ways. Here is a picture of Cindy standing in the Walmart parking lot with her lifetime supply of calcium pills.

When I got home I told T. all about my fun time with Cindy then Kinky called me to see if I was going to Austin on Friday and I told him that I was, so we made a plan on how we were going to hook up in Austin. By the time it was all said and done Kinky is going to pick me up at the Dairy Queen in Dripping Springs Friday morning and then we will ride into Austin together. I am already getting nervous about going to Austin. Please wish me luck.

Y'all have a great evening!

Thank You, Willie and Republic Harley-Davidson!

Today has been a great day! This morning I got up really early because I had much to do. After feeding the dogs and Lucky, I walked six miles with Leslie and by eight o'clock Tone and I had eaten breakfast and the kitchen was cleaned up. Then I spent an hour catching up with ranch business, then I checked PayPal to see how many books I had sold. When I pulled up my account I about fell out of my chair when I saw all of the orders that had come in for my book since yesterday. I was so excited about the orders I went over to the Lodge to tell Kinky while T. did his outside chores.

"Are they selling like hot cakes, Nance?" Kinky asked. When I told him how many new book orders I had he nearly choked on his coffee. He told me that he was thrilled for me and he could not believe how fast they were selling. Then Kinky invited me to go with him to Austin on Friday because he was doing a lecture at the University of Texas and he wanted me to talk to them about our rescue ranch and sell my new book. I thanked him for the invite and told him that I would think about it and get back to him, because Austin traffic scares me.

While we were visiting Kinky in the kitchen Kinky told me that Willie Nelson had signed the "Kinky Friedman Custon Harley-Davidson" the night before in Austin, that Republic Harley-Davidson in Stafford, Texas is going to raffle off in October with all of the proceeds going to our rescue ranch! "Nance, the bike looks really beautiful. Please tell everyone on your blog about it so they can buy a $25.00 raffle ticket and have a chance to win."

When I returned to the rescue ranch I spent over an hour fulfilling my book orders and when Tony walked inside the trailer and saw the big box full of books ready to be mailed out his jaw dropped to the floor. "Tony, we have to mail all of these out today. Can you believe it!" Tony smiled.

After lunch we dropped Annie Oakley off at Hoegemeyers to get her shots, mailed out my books and then we went to Wolfmueller's Books and Kinky was there and he was hilarious. After Sandy, Jon and I discussed them buying my books Kinky jokingly said, "Nance, now let me negotiate the book deal for you..."

I looked over at Sandy and she shot me a wink and said loud enough for Kink to hear, "Let's discuss it after Kinky leaves." We all started laughing and when Kinky left the building Sandy and I cut a quick deal and then I signed my books that they had just purchased from me. Then we left Wolfmueller's Books, picked up Annie and came home.

Around five o'clock I went outside to the barn and grabbed a giant box of Milk Bone dog treats and then I gave two to three treats to each dog while I visited with them. I really enjoyed it, but not as much as our dogs did.

Y'all have a great evening!

Seven Seconds!

On Saturday Leisa and Rick arrived at the rescue ranch around one o'clock. After howdys and hugs Leisa's sweet, little rescued dog, Squirt, jumped out of the truck to greet us too. When we started to help them carry their bags into my writing cabin we discovered that somebody was already staying in my cabin and they had not been invited nor were they welcomed guests.

As we stood inside my cabin we could hear the tapping sound of little feet running around above the ceiling and it was fairly loud. It appears that an out-of-work squirrel family had secretly invaded my cabin to raise their babies in and Tony told me that they would leave when their kids were big enough to leave home so I felt somewhat relieved, but Leisa and Rick weren't. They decided that they wanted to stay in my Space Ship instead which was fine with me, so they moved their stuff over to my little guest trailer. Then we came inside the trailer to visit and catch up with each others news. Then Leisa took off for Kerrville to purchase a new cell phone because hers was dinosaur and she was tired of people laughing at her when she pulled it out of her purse, so she put Squirt inside the cabin and took off and Squirt was not a happy camper.

When Leisa returned she had a new cell phone and a sack full of cheeses, breads and wine for us to dine on. But before we officially started Happy Hour we decided to try Squirt out with our dogs to see if they would get along.

Well our dogs totally embarrassed Tony and me because they were not good hosts. They were rude, unfriendly, growling and talking about Squirt under their breaths until she showed them how cute and friendly she was. Then our dogs apologized to her (sniffed her butt and let her sniff theirs) and then everybody seemed fine, so Rick popped a cork of cold champagne and Happy Hour began and we had a blast in Outer Space and stayed up late.

Sunday morning after breakfast Rick and Leisa wanted to show us how fast Squirt was because she now has the title "The Fastest Dog In Port Aransas 2010" so Tony grabbed my video camera and we went outside to the parking lot, near our trailer for a demonstration.

It was so funny because Leisa and Rick were acting like proud parents and bragging and they couldn't wait for Squirt to perform for us. As Leisa stood next to us Rick took off walking with Squirt in his arms. When he was a good distance away he turned around, put Squirt on the ground, ready for Lisa to call Squirt's name. Here is Tony's short seven-seconds video of "The Fastest Dog In Port Aransas 2010" in action. She is soooooooooooo fast!

Around ten when it was time for our Space Ship guests to leave and head back to Port A. Tony and I did not want to see them go, but they did. My last words to them were, "I hope we get a lot of hurricanes on the coast so we can see y'all sooner than later!"

Today started out kind of sad because Lisa, Matt and their friends did not come out to help Tone and walk our dogs, because they had some business that needed tending to. We miss y'all and look forward to seeing you soon!

P.S. This afternoon we got a great update on Paul McCartney! Jessica called to tell me that they love Paul and he is a great dog and she and Mike and Jessica's dog Charlie are so happy to have him in their family! Nice way to end my day.

Y'all have a great evening!

Grandma Mammy!

Saturday was so much fun even though the Ride For Harley-Ray had to be canceled due to the weather! Instead of walking with Leslie in the morning, Hazel and I cleaned the trailer because Leisa Lea and Rick Richenbach, our good friends from Port Aransas were coming up to see us and spend the night.

After Hazel went back into the closet I mopped the trailer floors and then I went outside and saw Ellen Jackson and Eileen Gotke our friends and great dog-walking volunteers nearby. I hollered at them and invited them to come up to the trailer before they started walking our dogs. A couple of minutes later they were inside the trailer and we were all laughing!

"Nancy, I have a special gift for you that I bought in Fredericksburg," Eileen said as she pulled a pink felt cowboy hat trimmed in pink feathers with expensive rhinestones. As she fiddled around with something inside the hat Eileen said, "When I saw it I thought of you and I just had to buy it!" Then the rhinestones on the top part of the hat started flashing with bright lights that changed colors. The three of us started laughing immediately. "I thought you could wear this thing when you are playing the drums with your pink drumsticks."

I ran out of the room into my office and then quickly returned with my pink, feathered sticks with glitter and my lavender colored drum pad that has a pink bow glued to the top of it. "I love the hat!" I said. "The hat matches my drumsticks perfectly!" Here is a picture of Eileen holding my pink hat and that is Ellen's arm on the right and the reason that the picture is a little bit blurry is because I was shaking with laughter when I shot Eileen in the big room.

Then Ellen or Eileen suggested that I replace one of Tony's cowboy hats on the wall with it, as a joke so I did. And guess what? I love seeing it next to my Roy Rogers' wall and I plan to hang it there permanently. Here is a picture of my new, beautiful, flashing-light cowgirl hat hanging on the wall right next to Roy.

After we finally quit laughing about my new pink, flashing cowboy hat, Ellen gave me the greatest update on Sandy, who she adopted from us a few weeks ago. She renamed Sandy—Jermaine Jackson and I like that. Ellen told us that Jermaine is now a very happy dog and he has adjusted to the city life really well! Her news and Eileen's pink hat made my day and I told them so. Then we talked some business. They bought several copies of my new book and I signed them for them and then I invited them to go into Outer Space with me for a visit.

After we sat down our hen party started and it was non-stop laughter. Eileen and Ellen are very funny people and they have great senses of humor and they had me laughing so hard my back began to ache a little. Somewhere during our fun conversation, I guess when I started talking about our uncreative, part-time poltergist that visits us inside the trailer we started trading funny stories about funny funerals and ghosts, etc. 

To protect the innocent and the guilty I am not going to say who said this in our conversation. "One time I was at a funeral and the biggest three tier flower arrangement had this little old-timey plastic telephone that looked like a kid's toy on it. It looked like one of those rotary dial up phones that we used to use. Anyway, the little phone was attached to the tier and the handset that you held and talked and listened to was off of the hook and attached next to a big glittery sign, in big letters that read: Jesus is calling you."  And we broke out laughing!

And then I fell apart when one of them told me about a family member who had died and she had wanted to be buried next to her grandmother in a nearby town instead of next to her mother where she was supposed to be buried. 

"Bless her heart, we cremated her and the funeral home director asked me and my sister if we wanted to split up her ashes. We didn't know that you could do that or if it was even legal. We decided to split up her ashes and we both got a box with her in it."

"Did you tell them that you wanted the top part?" I joked. We laughed and then she continued with her hilarious story.

"We wanted to grant her her last wishes, so my sister and husband and I had a really big, but not tall, long tombstone made with her name and Grandma Mammy's name on it and it was really heavy. So early one morning after my husband had carefully loaded it into the back of our pickup so my sister and I could easily drag it out of the back of the truck, she and I took off for the little nearby town where Mammy was planted. Right after dawn we arrived at the cemetery and we found her grave and then we backed up beside Grandma Mammy's grave. Fortunately no living soul, but us were in the small town cemetery so my sister and I dragged the grave marker out of the pickup and we placed the heavy thing right next to Mammy's grave and then we quickly drove away real fast! And no one has ever found out!"

We were laughing so hard after hearing her story we had tears falling from our eyes. The other one then said, "One time I was at a funeral being held in a cemetery and right next to the grave site there was this big, tall, round heavy grave marker that looked just like a giant firecracker and guess what the words on it said?" There was a long pause. "Pop!" She said. I laughed so hard I accidentally farted, but fortunately it wasn't real loud and they were laughing with me, so I don't think they even heard it. After a few more tales that I cannot repeat they took off to go walk our dogs. Thank you, Eileen and Ellen! 

When I came inside the trailer Carlton was flashing to let me know that Kinky had called. After I returned his phone call I went over to the Lodge for a fun, but short visit. When I told him some of Ellen's and Eileen's hilarious stories and about me accidentally passing gas he cracked up with laughter.

Right after lunch, at one o'clock Rick and Leisa arrived! To Be Continued... (Sorry, Mari.)

Y'all have a great evening! 

Rick, The Friendly Lighthouse Keeper, and Leisa Are Here!

Today has been really fun! This morning Ellen Jackson and Eileen Gotke came out to walk our dogs and before they did we went into Outer Space and we had a blast! I have so much to tell and will tomorrow because we are having a blast right now with Rick and Leisa!

Y'all have a great evening!

The Republic Harley-Davidson "Ride For Harley-Ray" Has Been Canceled Due To Rain And Will Be Rescheduled Soon!

Yesterday evening I didn't post a blog because I was tired and I couldn't wait to watch the movie "Crazy Heart." Tony and I thought the movie was fantastic and I am so glad that Jeff Bridges won Best Actor for it because he really deserved it.

This morning when I went over to the Lodge to visit with Kinky I told him and Frank about how great "Crazy Heart" was. "Nance, did you buy it?" Kinky asked.

"Yes," I said. "Do you want to watch it?" As I am typing these words at seven forty-nine Kinky and Frank are over at the Lodge watching it right now. I know they will love that movie and I look forward to talking to them about it.

This morning I got up early and it started off weird thanks to Mercury in retrograde. Lucky was a cranky cat for some reason and Hank and Little Girl didn't want to eat their dog food. After breakfast I cleaned up the kitchen and decided not to walk again because I had lots of paperwork to do. When I tried to print out some letters, our mood-swing printer wouldn't print them and just started spitting out one blank page after another, totaling twenty-two pages in all. So I went over to the Lodge to drink some coffee with Kinky so we could catch up with each others news because he has been gone for nearly a week.

Before I left the Lodge Kinky, Frank and I decided to meet for lunch in Kerrville. When I returned to the rescue ranch I stopped at Jill's pen and told T. that we were having lunch in Kerrville at twelve-thirty.
"That's great, Nance, but Lisa wants to take us out to lunch today," Tony said.

"Not a problem. We'll invite Lisa and Matt to join us! It will be fun!" Then I took off in Buttermilk. When I saw Lisa by Happy and Maggie's pen she waved at me so we stopped so I could talk to her. Lisa was fine about joining us for lunch. Then she told me that Matt's parents, Paul and Gail were in Kerrville to visit with Matt. "Let's invite them too! I've been dying to meet them." I said. So we came up to the trailer so she could call Matt.

After she talked to Matt on the phone she told me that Matt and his parents were on their way out to see us and Matt thought it would be fun to join us for lunch. And that's when I took a baby Aspirin because Lisa's words pushed my panic button because I needed to take a shower, make the bed and vacuum the trailer! "Lisa, I need at least twenty minutes to clean up and vacuum the trailer. If they get here before I'm done will you show them around until I come outside?" Lisa laughed and told me she would and then she left the trailer so I could tidy up.

After I lit a couple of sticks of incense to mask the doggie smell I punched in Kinky's phone number. "Kinky, plans have changed. Lisa and Matt and Matt's parents are going to join us for lunch!"

"Sounds good, Nance," Kink said. "Let's move our lunch up to one-thirty?" After I agreed to the time change I hung up on Kinky and discovered the incense sticks were on fire and had nearly burnt halfway down because I had forgotten to blow out the flames so I quickly threw the sticks into the dishwater and lighted two more sticks and made sure to blow the fire out!

Then I started a load of laundry and then quickly made up our bed and took a shower. While I was getting dressed Lisa and Tone came inside the trailer. "Nance! What are you doing?" T. hollered.

"I'm getting dressed!" I half-hollered back.

"Okay, We're going into Outer Space!" Then I heard the front door close. When I came out of the bathroom Lucky ran into the closet as I pulled Hazel out. "No, Lucky. You cannot stay in the closet." Lucky ignored me. "Please, Lucky. Come on get out of the closet." Lucky shot me one of those looks that could kill and then he took his time slowly walking out of the closet. After Hazel quickly removed most of Mama's long white hair and the dogs black and tan dog hair she went back into the closet and I went into Outer Space.

I had a fun five minute visit with Lisa and Tone and then Matt and his parents arrived so we went to greet them. The minute I saw their smiling faces I knew I liked them—they were my kind of people. After howdys and handshakes we went into the Space Ship and they thought it was pretty cool and then we took them into Outer Space and had a really fun visit. Before it was time for us to leave for Kerrville I suggested that Matt take Kermit and give Paul and Gail a tour of the ranch, so they took off. As soon as they were gone I said, "I love Matt's parents! They are such nice people..."

"I know," Lisa said. "I really like them too." Ten minutes later when they returned we jumped into our vehicles and headed to Kerrville so we could meet Frank and Kinky for lunch. Lisa left first followed by Matt's family and we were last so we could close the gate behind us.

I figured that we would probably caravan to Kerrville, but obviously Lisa didn't. OMG! As soon as we were on Highway 16 Lisa put the pedal to the metal and took off like a professional Nascar driver. When 16 finally turned into four lanes Lisa was nowhere to be seen. "I can't believe how fast Ricky Bobby drives," I said. "I hope that she doesn't get a ticket." T. laughed as he drove the speed limit and calmly followed Paul and Gail's suburban.

When we arrived at the restaurant Frank and Kinky were inside sitting at a table waiting for us and that is when the fun began. I teased Lisa about being a wannabe race car driver and then Kinky started talking politics while we ate our shrimp cocktails. Everyone had plenty to say and basically we were all in agreement. And the conversation was filled with a lot of laughter too. When we were done eating we took the conversation outside to the parking lot and visited for about another twenty minutes before everyone took off in different directions. Tony and I had so much fun and we love Paul and Gail.

When T. and I got home I opened a PayPal account for Undepressable Press and hopefully by Tuesday or Wednesday it will be up and running and y'all can use PayPal to buy my book. Fortunately, it is already selling like hot-cakes and I am so thrilled about it and I really want to thank all of y'all that have already bought my book. I hope you like it.

This evening I went over to the Lodge to visit with Kinky and to also loan him our copy of "Crazy Heart" so he and Frank could watch it tonight. And, I bet that the movie is just about over by now, so I am going to call Kink to see if he liked it.

P.S. I want to thank our great volunteers Lisa and Jim for coming out this morning to help Tone and to walk our dogs.

Y'all have a great evening!

Undepressable Press Is UP!

Today has turned out great even though it was a little weird. Since I was caught up yesterday with my monthly quota of five miles per day I didn't walk this morning. Instead of walking I went outside and mowed and weed-eated the rescue ranch with Lisa, Melody, Joe and Tony. By eleven-fifteen the ranch looked gorgeous except for the front yard of my writing cabin. I plan to do that tomorrow morning after I walk. Thank you, Lisa, Melody and Joe!

When I came inside the trailer covered in fresh cut green grass, weeds and stickers my friend Rick, "The Friendly Lighthouse Keeper" called me from Port Aransas. We had a fun conversation and it looks like he and Leisa are coming up Satuday to help us out with the Republic Harley-Davidson road rally this Saturday that benefits the rescue ranch! I am so glad that they are coming up and I cannot wait to see them. I know that we will have a lot of fun.

At fifteen minutes past noon I nearly had a full blown panic attack because when I went to 48hrBooks to get the tracking number for my books, I highlighted and copied the tracking number and then pasted it into the UPS tracking box and that's when I hollered, "OMG, Tony! It says my books were delivered to our front door and it was over nighted instead of shipped standard! Come look!" Tony stared at my computer and shook his head because no UPS truck has been out here today. "Let's go out to the mailbox," I said. "Maybe they dropped my books off at our mailbox?"

We jumped into Buttermilk and took off down the road. Two and a half miles later we found our mail in our box but there were no books, so we came back and went over to Kinky's to see if they had been dropped off there. We left the Lodge discouraged because my books weren't there either. I was so upset. On our way home Tony said, "This is ridiculous, Nance. I want to call UPS and I want to talk to them."

When we came back inside the trailer I went to my account on 48hrBooks and showed Tony the tracking number. Then I highlighted it and copied it like I had earlier. Then I went to UPS and pasted the tracking number to track it. Then I screamed! "T., now it says that my books are scheduled to be delivered today and it shows the weight, etc. How in the world could this happen? I don't understand   this because I copied and pasted the number both times. I bet Mercury in retrograde has something to do with this... "

At one-fifteen Jessica and Mike, a nice couple from Austin showed up for their appointment with Jessica's rescued female dog, Charlie, so they could see if Paul McCartney, the dog Mike wanted to adopt would get along with Charlie. After Tone and I talked to them about Paul, Mike told me when he saw Paul's picture in the Austin Chronicle he fell in love with him instantly, and when he found out that Paul McCartney was the dog's name it blew him away because he is a major big fan of the Beatles.

After Mike and Jessica took the dogs for a long walk they came back all smiles and Mike told me that the dogs really liked each other and he wanted to take Paul home with them. We were thrilled but not as much as Paul was. When Mike opened the rear door hatch Paul and Charlie jumped in quickly with their tails wagging and they gave each other a kiss. After they drove away we talked about how nice the young couple was and how happy we were for Paul.

The next two hours seemed to pass slower than usual for me because I could not wait to get my books. Around three-twenty our electricity went off, so I quickly unplugged everything from the walls so a power surge wouldn't blow up our electronics. Then Tony and I and the dogs went into Outer Space since there was nothing else that we could do but wait for it to come back on and to wait for my books to show up.

At two minutes before four o'clock we heard the UPS truck and all of our rescued dogs started barking and howling. I ran into the trailer and grabbed my camera as Tony took off to meet the UPS driver so he could help him unload the many boxes into the back of Buttermilk. Here are three pictures I took of this exciting event!

I still have not gotten my web site about my book up and running yet and if you want to purchase a copy of my book here are the details. And our operators are standing by and waiting to hear from you. Laugh out loud.

The book costs $19.95 and I will be glad to sign it. Just give me the name and the address as to where to send it. And please give me your phone number in case I can't read your handwriting.

It costs $5.00 to ship anywhere in the U.S.A. but if you are in Canada or somewhere else on this planet please double the cost of shipping, so I don't go broke.

For all out-of-state people there is no sales tax, but if you are lucky to live in Texas then please add the 8.25 percent sales tax which is $1.64 if I figured it correctly.

Right now I am only accepting checks or money orders, so please mail and make your checks payable to:

Undepressable Press

966 Echo Hill Road

Medina, Texas 78055-3715

And please do not send any money to England. I am in Texas. As soon as we receive your check or money order Tony and I will mail your book/books to you within 48 hours. And I want to wish my friend Lori Graham of The NoMads a Happy 50th Birthday!

Y'all have a great evening!

The Green Green Grass & Weeds Of Home!

This morning after only walking four miles with Leslie, I went outside to help Lisa, Matt, Meghann, Joe and Tony with the mowing. When I reached the barn Matt was pushing the mower and Joe, Meghann and Lisa were weed eating so I jumped on the riding lawn mower and took off for the two giant dog pens at the front of our rescue ranch. An hour later the grass was cut in the pens and they looked great.

When I rode up to the barn Matt was filling the push mower's gas tank. "Happy Birthday, Matt!" I said. "Thank you for coming out. The place is starting to really look nice..." Then I jumped on the riding mower and took off to cut more grass while T. and Lisa mowed and weed eated the big pen down by our trailer and Meghann and Joe edged the flower beds and fence lines. When it was time for them to leave the rescue ranch looked beautiful and there was very little yard work left to do.  Before they drove away Tony and I thanked our great volunteers for helping us out.

This afternoon I talked to Roger Peach on the phone. He and his wife, Mary are the wonderful people who spent over two years trying to rescue Mr. Rogers and Miss Dee from the streets of Wichita, Kansas. He had called earlier, but I had missed his call because he was excited about Mr. Rogers and Miss Dee's upcoming adoption on May 15th and he wanted to talk to me about it and to make sure this woman was good enough for the dogs that they had rescued. Before hanging up with Roger he was thrilled and felt good about his and Mary's rescued dogs going to this nice woman in Fort Worth.

This evening we took in a sweet Pit Bull mix named Annie Oakley from a friend of ours who could no longer keep her. She is so white that she is nearly pink, she is only a year and two months old and is as sweet and friendly as she can be. Tomorrow I will take a picture of her and post it tomorrow night. She's a sweetheart and a great dog! Also tomorrow my books should be arriving and I am very excited about it!

Well, that's about it for today. Thank you, Lisa, Matt, Meghann and Joe for making our work easier! Happy Birthday Matt!

Y'all have a great evening!

Happy 24th Birthday Matt! We Love You!

Everyone at the rescue ranch including our dogs love Matt Bradbury and we wish him the best birthday any good looking cowboy could have! Happy Birthday to You! Happy Birthday to You! Happy Birthday Dear Matt! Happy Birthday to YOU! May all of your hopes and dreams come true! We love you!

Our Part-Time Poltergist Is Back, Again!

I got up really early this morning and everything seemed normal. Like every morning, our dogs and Lucky couldn't wait for me to feed them. After I fed my fur-friends, I started a load of laundry in Queen Bee. Then I made some coffee and fixed breakfast for Tony and me like I always do.

While washing the dishes in the kitchen sink, little did I know that things were fixin to get weird soon. After the kitchen was clean I walked six miles with Leslie even though my arms and back ached a little from pushing a lawn mower and using the weed eater for the two past evenings.

When I had completed my six mile walk that is when our friendly, once a month poltergist startled me.  I am prettyt positive that it was our part-time, prankster poltergist because it always does the same thing to me—it throws stuff onto the floor always landing near my feet. Not very creative for a poltergist if you ask me. And it probably showed up because Mercury is in retrograde.

As I was walking towards our "homemade armoire" in our bedroom that I built over twelve years ago, I saw my black case holding my first pair of bifocals that I don't use, fly off the top shelf and land three feet away—right in front of my feet—making a loud thud as it hit the floor. Hank and Thunder's hair went up on their back and they started barking immediately even though they are deaf, and Lucky jumped off of the bed and raced out of the bedroom screaming at the top of his lungs. He hates our poltergist.

To say the least I was startled too, so I picked up the  dusty case and opened it. Fortunately my bifocals were not damaged so I closed the case and put it back where I always keep it which is far back on the shelf. "You got me again," I said before turning around and heading back to the kitchen so I could take one more baby Aspirin for my heart.

Then I took a shower while Thunder, Hank, Toto and Little Girl bravely stood guard for me at the bathroom door entrance. Needless to say our little bathroom was standing-room-only. I did appreciate their protectiveness even though I wasn't scared of our poltergist with such a limited imagination. Then I opened up all of the windows.

As I walked around smudging the trailer with some sweet smelling sage from New Mexico, I  thought about what I would do if I were a poltergist. I know for certain that I would be a lot more creative than ours and do cool stuff like move pictures and things around, and hide things, etc. but I would never throw things off of shelfs or fling things from the top of the refrigerator like ours always does because someone could get hurt. I am positive that I would definitely be a cool poltergist unlike the boring one that we have.

Afte I smudged the trailer I went outside to say hello to Lisa, Matt and Meghann. First I visited with Meghann who was inside Ben Stiller's and Gracie's pen playing with them and giving them kisses even though they were covering her in mud. Then Matt walked up or should I say sauntered up wearing his new straw cowboy hat and he gave me a hug. "Is the cowboy hat helping you meet girls?" I asked. Matt blushed and then he shook his head up and down as Lisa walked up wearing a big smile on her face that we haven't seen for days.

"See, Matt! We were right," Lisa teased. "We told you that girls love cowboys..." Meghann, Lisa and I laughed as Matt continued to blush and shake his head. Then he saw Tony in Kermit and took off in his direction.

"Well, it looks like Mr. Rogers and Miss Dee have found their forever home!" I said. "Last Friday this really nice woman from Fort Worth called me and we talked for over thirty minutes about Mr. Rogers and Miss Dee. She told me that she wanted to adopt them and she was willing to be patient and work out their problems. She wants them to be indoor and outdoor dogs and I really liked her. She told me that she can't come down here until May 15th. Isn't that great news! And it looks like Paul McCartney is going to be living in Austin real soon!" Lisa and Meghann were thrilled with my new news about the dogs.

Early this evening I went outside while T. was in his office plowing and planting on his virtual farms. I mowed the grass outside of our front gate on the riding lawn mower, and then I pushed mowed more of the rescue ranch for almost two hours. I love getting the extra exercise and the rescue ranch is starting to look well manicured again.

Y'all have a great evening!

Lisa & Squirt From Port Aransas Were Here Today!

Yesterday was a great day. After breakfast I walked six miles and then went over to the Lodge to drink some coffee with Kinky. After lunch I caught up with all of my paperwork.

The reason that I did not post a blog last night was because I was too tired. And the reason that I was too tired is because last night at six o'clock Tony and I went outside and pushed mowers and whacked off weeds for two hours. When we came inside at eight o'clock we were covered in grass cuttings and my back was aching from pushing the lawn mower through the tall overgrown grass, which we haven't been able to mow since it has rained for the past seven days.

After I took a shower and put on my pajamas I poured myself a glass of fine wine from the box and then watched some old episodes of "House" because my good friend, Patty in Florida, is hooked on that televsion show—so I decided to check it out. I found the show to be very entertaining, so now I am hooked on "House!" Patty, I think the character, House is very good looking, too! Thank you, for telling me about the show.

This morning when I woke up I was thrilled that my back no longer ached so after breakfast I walked another six miles while Tony did his chores outside. After my workout with Leslie I did another rigorous  workout with Hazel, our lavender colored vacuum cleaner, which exhausted me because Mama, our Great Pyrenees has started shedding her long white hair all over the trailer. But the real reason that I worked out with Hazel is because our dear friend, Lisa from Port Aransas was coming to see us and have lunch with us.

Lisa Lea and her precious little dog, Squirt "The fastest dog in Port A." arrived around twelve-fifteen and we were so glad to see her, but our dogs were bad hosts to her fast and friendly dog, so Lisa put Squirt in Outer Space while we ate lunch inside. Lisa and I talked non-stop during lunch so Tone finished his meal first and I came in last place because I talked too much. After lunch we went outside and had a great visit in Outer Space. As always there was a lot of laughter. A little after two-thirty Lisa and Squirt jumped into her truck and took off for San Antone so Lisa could buy a new cell phone before heading back to Port Aransas.

This afternoon I checked my e-mail. My friends Donna "The Drummer" Schloss and Mari of the NoMads sent me a video to watch of some dogs playing in the snow and it really cracked me up! It was hilarious, so I asked Tony to come watch it and it made him laugh, too. We loved it. I hope that you will checkout this funny dogs video because I promise that it will definitely make you laugh. Thank you, Donna!

This evening at five o'clock I went outside in my denim overalls and push-mowed the grass for over two hours while Tony cut the grass on the riding mower because the Republic Harley-Davidson "Ride With Harley-Ray" to benefit our rescue ranch is only six days away. Tony offered to use the push mower but I declined because when I got on the riding mower it almost ejected me from my seat when I put it into gear and besides pushing the mower is great exercise for me.

Y'all have a great evening!

Matt-the-Hatter!

Yesterday was a really great day even though it never stopped raining and ended with some thunderstorms. While Tony and Ben sloshed around outside I walked six miles even though I was really tired because I hadn't slept much the night before.

The reason that I did not sleep well was because I worried about doing a reality show out here. I really liked Karuna and I didn't want to hurt her feelings, but something inside me said, "Don't do it" and I always listen to my heartstrings.

After I walked, I went over to the Lodge to talk to Kinky about the TV show and I told him my thoughts and concerns. Thirty minutes later Kinky told me he was fine with any decision I made about it so I came home and called a few Board members and talked to them about the reality show. Then I talked to my sister Cindy and Ben about it and the "don't do it" votes outnumbered the "do it" votes.

I felt bad about telling Karuna the news for at least ten minutes and then I forgot all about it because Ian showed up to adopt Scooby Doo! Since it was raining cats and dogs outside we invited Ian to come inside the trailer to fill out the adoption papers on the little dog that stole his heart a few weeks back. Ian was so excited about finally adopting Scoober he could not wait to go outside in the rain to get his new best friend and take him home. "Last night my girlfriend went to the pet store and bought him dog food, feed dishes, a collar, leash and a ton of toys to play with!" Ian said before he and Tony went to get Scooby Doo.

When Tone came back inside the trailer I was making lunch for Ben, Tone and me and he was soaked from head to toe, but he was wearing a big smile on his face. "Scooby was so excited to see Ian. I know Scooby knew that he was getting his forever home, Nance. He's a lucky dog and I'm so glad that it was Ian who adopted him. He is such a nice young man."

After lunch with the guys I returned several e-mails and phone calls, then I got depressed about having to call Karuna and tell her that we had to decline her TV show offer. I hate it when I have to say no to people as nice as Karuna, but I knew I had to so I put it off for an hour and took an "arts and crafts break" to cheer me up.

Last week when Tony and I went over to visit our friends Barbara and Tom Carpenter at their beautiful ranch I fell in love with the way Barbara had decorated their cozy home because it was "Country" style and full of love, history and character. When I spotted her painted, pastel pink Scrabble letters and trays scattered throughout their ranch house with words like: relax, welcome etc. I told her that I wanted to copy her idea, she told me to do it and I did sort of.

While I was painting (white washing) the lettered and numbered tiles baby pink I decided to do my words in "Pig Latin" because as a child Ronnie and I used to talk Pig Latin in front of our parents and we thought that we were so smart, thinking that they could not understand us—it was our secret language. Mom and Dad never let on that we might not be the sharpest tools in the tool shed because they were too nice.

For those of you who are too young to know what Pig Latin is I will tell you. In Ronnie's and my secret foreign language we removed the first letter of a word and put it at the end of the word and added "ay" to it. For example: Ronnie became Onnie-Ray. Here is a picture of a few of my trays of words.

After I cleaned up my mess in the kitchen I called Karuna to tell her the bad news. She was so sweet even though I could tell that she was really disappointed and I felt terrible for twenty minutes after we hung up. Then I forgot about it because we had another fantastic adoption! R-1 found his new forever home! And it was raining so hard Tony, Ben and I got soaked as we stood outside in the rain visiting with Tony's friend Bo.

After the adoption papers were signed inside the barn R-1 happily jumped into the front seat of Bo's fancy truck and layed down as we visited in the pouring rain. After ten minutes of talking I said, "I can't help it. I've got to check on R-1 and make sure that he is okay." Then we all walked up to the window and looked inside the pickup—R-1 was sound asleep and seemed to be hugging the cloth seat because he loves to ride in trucks and cars! "I want this dog to go everywhere that I go." Bo said.

When it was time for Bo to leave with his new precious cargo R-1 was happily riding shotgun on the passenger side of the front seat which made Ben, Tony and me laugh.  Then the three of us jumped into Trigger and returned to the trailer and talked about how happy we were for Scooby Doo and R-1. And we could not believe that they had been adopted in the pouring rain. Then the thunder storms came and it rained all night.

This morning when I got up at six-fifteen (which would have been five-fifteen in the old time) I let the dogs outside and the roaring creek below our bluff was so loud I figured that we must have flooded sometime during the night. Then Tony walked into the big room and told me that he wasn't going to try to go to the Old Timer this morning because the creeks and river were reportedly out of banks. I heard on the news that they had to evacuate all of the campers in Bandera. I don't know if we are land-locked or not."

After I made some coffee and fed the dogs the sun came up over the mountain and we could see our rain guage. We got over five inches of rain since yesterday. After we drank a cup of coffee T. and I jumped into Buttermilk to go check out the low water crossings.

The creeks were full and out of their banks but we were not land-locked yet so went over to the Lodge because I wanted to tell Kinky about the creeks rising. Kinky was up and dressed when we walked into the Lodge and he was a little surprised to see us at seven-fifteen in the morning. We had a long discussion about the weather because Kinky and Frank had to leave by eight o'clock for a librarian convention in San Antonio that he was going to speak at. "They said that we have a ninety percent chance of rain today and if I were you I'd get out of here before the creeks rise some more," I said. 

Ten minutes later Tone and I were back at the trailer. I decided to invite Kinky, Frank, Ben and Will over for breakfast so I called the Lodge and got Kink's machine which probably meant that they had taken off for San Antone. "Kinky! Ben if you are there please pick..."

"Hello, Nancy," Ben said. "Kinky and Frank just left..."

"Would you and Will like to come over for breakfast? I'm fixin' scrambled eggs, beans and sausage."

Ten minutes later Ben showed up and he ate breakfast with us while Will caught up on some over do sleep. After breakfast the guys put on their rain gear and galoshes and then went outside to work in the rain and that's when I decided to walk six miles with Leslie.

Around eleven-fifteen Tony walked inside the trailer and told me that Lisa was still really depressed and she wanted to talk to me about it. "Tell her to come on up," I said. Tony went back outside to tell Lisa to come inside. When Lisa walked inside the trailer Tony walked outside. I could tell that she had been crying so I hugged her and invited Lisa to sit down so we could talk. 

Three minutes into our private conversation the front door opened and in walked Tony and a good-looking cowboy wearing a straw cowboy hat—it was Matt! "Matt! I love your cowboy hat! You look so handsome! Doesn't he, Lisa?" 

"Yes, he does," Lisa said trying to smile. "You look good, Matt." Matt blushed.

"Has it helped you get any new girlfriends?" I teased. 

"Yeah," Matt said with a laugh. "Yesterday some girl hollered out her car window at me and screamed, "Forget the horse. Ride a cowboy!" but she was a cowgirl and fatter than a cow..."

"Don't give up, Matt-the-Hatter," I said. "When you meet some cute girl tip the front of your cowboy hat at her and she will melt and then say things like..." Ten minutes later after Lisa, Tony and I had coached and given Matt tips on how to be and act like a cowboy we were all laughing—including Lisa! Yeah! Here is a picture I took of Matt with his new improved image. Doesn't he look adorable!

 

When it was time for Lisa and Matt to leave Matt did the funniest thing. After he and Lisa left the trailer he picked her up on the front porch and threw her over his shoulder and then carried her down the steps with her laughing and screaming, "Put me down, Matt! I am going to get you for this. Matt! I'm serious now..." 

So Tony, Ben and me went out on the porch to watch. "Matt!" I hollered as he carried her off towards her car. "I've got a roping rope if you need one!" Then we started laughing and came back inside the trailer. 

After turning on my iPod I made lunch for Ben, Tony, Will and me. After lunch I cleaned up the kitchen I asked Tony to get our expensive-hardly-ever-used vacuum sealer out of our closet because I couldn't reach it because I was going to cut up the giant Miles of Chocolate brick that Ben had given to us yesterday, so I could store it in smaller serving packages.

When I was ready to start vacuum sealing I had a hard time trying to cut up the huge brick of chocolate because I am not good with knives so Ben took over. We started an assembly line. As Ben sliced off a chunk of chocolate I would cut off a seven or eight inch sheet of the plastic sealing bag. Then Ben would seal one edge of the plastic bag and then insert the other edge into the vacuum sealer and then vacuum seal it as Tony and Will watched and teased us. Here is a picture of a vacuum sealed slice of the best chocolate in the world. Thank you, Ben!

Kinky just called. When the phone rang I looked up at the Caller ID on the wall and recognized Kinky's cell number so I picked up the phone and said, "Howdy!" instead of "Rescue Ranch," like I always do. It threw Kinky and he laughed. "Howdy!"I said again and he laughed harder and then he echoed back my words. He called to tell me that he and Frank are headed back to the ranch and he wanted to get a "how high's the water" creek-check and then he told me that he had fun at the librarian convention. 

P.S. I want to do a big shout out to my friend and author, Cindy Lou Ruffino, who will be signing her second book Dead X's In Texas tomorrow from ten until three o'clock at the Georgetown Convention Center! Cindy, I hope that you have fun tomorrow and your book sells like hot cakes! You Rock!

Y'all have a great evening!

Not Tonight—I'm Unplugged—Stormy Weather!

The Preacher Man!

This morning I did not walk because I had a lot of work to do before going to Kerrville later today. While I was backing up some files Lisa, Matt and Tony came inside the trailer so Tone could show them a slideshow of the Bluebonnet pictures he took yesterday.

Before they watched the slideshow I  could tell that Lisa was really down in the dumps so we tried to cheer her up. When I told Matt that he needed to wear a cowboy hat to get girls Lisa backed me up, "Matt, women love men in cowboy hats." Then the joking started and after all was said and done I doubt if Matt is going to buy a cowboy hat. Then Matt told me that his parents were coming to see him on Tuesday because it was his birthday and they wanted to come out and see the rescue ranch which thrilled me because I cannot wait to meet them. Then I showed Matt his name in the acknowledgments of my book and he was thrilled and told me that his name has never been in a book. When Tony's slideshow ended they went outside to go to work and Lisa was smiling even though I could tell that she was still depressed.

Around twelve-thirty I grabbed the Undepressable Press checkbook and letters to be mailed and then Buttermilk took us to Kerrville to run many errands before meeting Kinky for lunch at one-thirty. On our way to Wolfmueller's Books Kinky passed us going in the opposite direction and waved so I called him on his cell. "Hello, Nance. I just passed y'all."

"I know. I waved at you, too. Do you want to do lunch early?"

"Yes."

"We're at Wolfmuellers to pick up some books and they need for me to sign some books so we will be there in about ten minutes. Bye."

When we walked into the bookstore we were greeted by Mary Jo then Sandy and Jon came out of their office in the back and headed our direction. After greetings I paid for my books and then I started signing several copies of my book, The Road To Utopia while Mary Jo Brandon looked for her name in the acknowledgments part of  my new book. She seemed thrilled when she found it. "I'm between Robert Bradley and Linda Buckelew! How many pages are in your acknowledgements?"

"Three full pages of names. I have a lot of friends and it is a marketing idea because everyone wants to see their names in a book so I put all of my friends name into the book." I said. "Mary Jo, my new book would make a nice Christmas present for your friends and family and I could sign them with something like: "I love Mary Jo, too!" When I was done signing books T. and I took off for the restaurant.

In general, having lunch with Kinky is always fun, but todays was weird and fun. When we arrived at the restaurant Kinky was already sitting at a table waiting for us. The weird part happened right after Tony and I placed our orders. Right when Kinky's cell phone rang I had a wardrobe malfunction and I could not believe what had just happened so I blamed it on being two days away from Mercury going into retrograde. Fortunately I was the only person aware of my problem.

When Kinky answered his phone he stood up, excused himself and then went outside to take the call. I took his cue. I stood up and quickly dashed off to the powder room and went into a stall and latched the door behind me. Then I looked down to make sure that my turtleneck was covering my wardrobe malfunction and was glad to see that it was. Then I lifted up my shirt and re-buttoned my Levi 501 jeans.

For some reason the middle button had unbuttoned itself and I cannot figure out why because my jeans are baggy with plenty of room except around the top button because I have a muffin top as Ben likes to call it. Since it only took me ten seconds to button up my jeans I decided to stay in the stall for at least a minute because I didn't want people wondering why I had gone into the ladies restroom for ten seconds.

Sixty-five seconds later I was sitting at the table laughing with Tony and Kinky wondering why so I told them. They thought it was pretty funny. During our meal we started talking about my new book and that's when Kinky turned into a preacher man. "Nance, I don't care who it is that wants your book—do not give them a free one and that includes me. It's for your and Tony's retirement and you need to tell them that. You've worked hard on this book and put your hard earned money into it. So if they really want to read your book then they should understand and pay you for it or go to the library." I didn't know what to say, but Tony did.

"Kinky, Nancy gives everything away. I bet that she has bought and given away at least three or four hundred books..." I sitting there at the table wondering if I had turned into the invisible woman as they continued to talk about me. Finally when they had run out of words about me I spoke.

"Okay, guys. I get it. I promise not to give one book away for free—except to libraries. And, I hope that you will buy one, Kinky. Okay?" They laughed. After we finished our meal we took off and went in different directions. Kinky went home and we went to the bank so I could get a certified check made out to 48hrBooks. Then we went to FedEx and over nighted the check to the printers. Our next stop was at H.E.B. for a few groceries and gas. Then we went to the post office so I could mail out a ton of letters and buy stamps. Our final stop was at Walmart so I could buy some shipping supplies for Undepressable Press. Then we came home.

At five twenty-seven the phone rang and for some reason I picked it up and answered it even though I did not recognize the phone number. This really nice woman introduced herself. "Hi my name is Karuna  and I am an independent television producer for a new television station. We started in January and..." Or at least I think that is what she said her name was because I am so hard of hearing especially when talking on the phone. Karen, Karuna or Kahuna told me that they want to do a reality show about our rescue ranch and I nearly fainted with excitement. We talked and laughed for about ten minutes. She told me that they are not like other reality shows. "We want to showcase people who are doing good work and I think your rescue ranch would be great..."

"How do you know about us?" I asked.

She told me that she reads my blog and loves watching my videos. "My favorite video is your first  and last cooking show." Now my ego starts kicking in and I tell her that, and we started laughing. Then my new-found friend tells me that the TV station is in negotiations with Direct TV and Dish as we speak. Before hanging up the phone she told me that she would e-mail some more information about the reality show idea and I told her that I had to discuss all of this with Kinky and that I would get back to her by noon tomorrow. Then I called Kinky and went over to the Lodge.

After telling Kinky about this nice woman, who I really liked, and all that she had to say about the possible reality TV show he said it sounded good to him and for me to pursue it, but to be careful and to contact our entertainment lawyer friend because if it is too invasive on our privacy which we have little of we won't do it. Then I returned to the rescue ranch.

Ten minutes after getting home Carol called me and we had a really fun visit. When I told her about the possible rescue ranch reality show we had a fun discussion about it. "Nancy, I know that Kinky is a natural in front of the camera, but you run and hide when cameras come out and Tony shuts down. I don't know..." Then she told me about her and James horsemanship workshops that they plan to attend in the near future. I am so happy for Carol and James. They are like two peas-in-a-pod and I am so glad they found each other and having the times of their lives.

P.S. Cheer up, Lisa.

Y'all have a great evening!

Perfect Timing!

This morning Lisa, came inside the trailer to look at my galley proof and she made me feel so good. She said, "Nance, I love your book! It is totally awesome! It is so beautiful..." And that is just one of the many reasons that we love Lisa. She is totally awesome.

Later this morning Tony and his sister Annie from New Braunfels went to Fredericksburg to take pictures of the beautiful Texas Bluebonnets. I stayed home because I needed to catch up with my paperwork and so I could "press the button" to sign off on my book's new corrections.

Twenty minutes before 48hrBooks cutoff time for today I received their pdf files, but I could not open up the files so thinking fast I e-mailed them to Copies Plus so they could open the files for me and tell me if the corrections looked good. Since time was of the essence I called Copies Plus to ask them to look at the new files as soon as possible.

Trisha was out out of the shop so her nice employee Marcie did it for me. "Yes, Nancy, the files look great and all of the corrections were made," Marcie said. After thanking her I went to my computer and pressed the "sign off" button and then called 48hrBooks to make sure they knew that I had just signed off for them to print my books. I made today's deadline with less than ten minutes left before their cutoff time for today. I was thrilled because that means that I will get my books early next week before Mercury goes into retrograde on April 18th! And I call that perfect timing.

This evening when Tony and Annie returned to the ranch they showed me some of their beautiful pictures that had taken today before Annie had to leave and drive back to New Braunfels. After Annie left I asked T. if he had eaten lunch today because I had some leftovers for him if he was hungry. "Yes, we did. We ate lunch in Kerrville," Tone said.

"Did you get any funny stares since you were with a blonde and not with me?" I teased. Tony laughed.

"Yes, I did. When we walked into the restaurant that waitress that always waits on us looked at me, turned her head sideways and then she raised her eyebrow. I told Annie that tongues would be waggin' all over Kerrville about me being seen with her today. She thought it was funny."

It is starting to thunder and lightning here so I need to get off of the Internet and unplug everything.

Y'all have a great evening!

UP!

Today has been great and I am on Cloud Nine as I type this. This morning when I was walking the last mile of my six, Tony and Lisa came inside the trailer so Lisa could give me Mark's package for me. I quickly put Leslie and crew on hold and then I opened up the package.

I first looked at the photographs which were all signed to me by the famous drummer Tommy Noland! Mark's friend, Tommy Noland, plays with Brian Austin and he usually tours and plays guitar in Clint Black's band. Then I realized why Mark had sent the pictures because there was a pair of autographed drumsticks signed by Tommy! "Wow, Lisa!" I said. "These are the best sticks that you can buy and mine are autographed by Tommy! Mark is so nice to have sent this to me. Maybe it will improve my drumming skills?" Then I admired the three really cool t-shirts from Mississippi. Thank you, Mark in Mississippi! I love the t-shirts, autographed pictures and drumsticks! You are too nice and please thank Tommy for me!

Tony, Lisa and I were having a fun visit until Matt came inside the trailer to tell Lisa it was time for them to leave because they needed to get back to Kerrville. After I gave Matt and Lisa a hug and thanked them for coming out, they said goodbye to us and left the trailer.

After lunch I took care of some paperwork and then I unofficially walked one hundred miles inside the trailer or should I say nervously paced back and forth as I awaited for the arrival of my book proof. Around two-thirty I told Tony that I was going to lay down and take a short nap because I was tired from walking and waiting.

At two forty-one Hank and Toto jumped off the bed and Mama and Abbie started barking outside and then I heard the front door open and close, so I got up in hopes that the UPS truck would be outside with my book. When I reached the door I saw the UPS man climbing back into his truck and Tony walking towards me with a package in hand. And he was smiling ear to ear!

When he came inside he handed me the package and said, "Here's your book. Open it." I took the package and set it down on the breakfast bar and just stared at it for a few seconds. "I'm scared to, Tone. What if it looks terrible and not what I expected." Then I took a deep breath and opened the package. Tears came to my eyes when I saw my book because it was beautiful! "Tony, it looks fantastic!" I said, as I picked it up and examined the back of the cover. "Look how good the back looks, too! I love it!"

Then I quickly combed through the pages checking to see if the Table of Contents matched the pages in the book and to see how the pictures turned out. The pages matched and were numbered correctly and the pictures looked great. I was so thrilled with my book I took two baby Aspirins just in case I stroked out from the excitement. "Tony, Let's go to Kerrville! I can't wait to show this to Sandy and Jon and Trisha! Then I called Sandy at Wolfmueller's Books and then Kinky to tell them about my book.

Five minutes later T. and I were over at the Lodge showing Kinky and Frank my book. To say the least Kinky and Frank loved my book and thought it looked great. "Kinky, it looks as good as my University of Texas Press book." Kinky agreed with me, and then I showed him the "UP" on the spine of the book. "That's my publishing company logo for Undepressable Press." Kinky smiled and nodded his head yes.

"Nance, your book looks fantastic," Kinky said. "I know that you're going to sell a lot..."

Five minutes later Tony and I were on our way to Kerrville to see Sandy and Jon, and then Trisha Sanders at Copies Plus so we could show them my book. Jon and Sandy told us that my book looked professionally done and they loved the cover as well as the printing inside. "I love 48hrBooks. They have been great to work with. There are a couple of things that I need to correct and when I called them about it they told me that was not a problem, and they would let me correct up to three things before charging me! Talk about nice people!"

"I found the first mistake on the title page," Tony said as he opened the book up to show them that I had left the "s" off of the word Texas at the bottom of the page. We started laughing. "I told her it was no big deal..."

"Yes, it is Tony. I also left out a word on the back cover and the title of my first book needs to be in italics," I said. "I can't believe that on the two most important parts of my book: the cover and title page I made those stupid mistakes. I guess I overlooked it because I have been too close to my book. Anyway we are fixin' to go see Trisha over at Copies Plus to ask her to correct my book cover and..."

"Nance, we need to leave and go see Trisha," Tone said as he got up from his chair. We said our goodbyes to Sandy and Jon and then we left the store.

When we showed Trisha the book she was as excited as me at how good it had turned out, and when she saw what I had written about her helping design the cover she was even more thrilled. When I told her about the needed corrections to the cover she quickly made them for me, including the apostrophe that needed to be added that her friendly employee suggested, and then Trisha e-mailed the new and improved version to me since my Mac can't read her CD's. After a fun visit with her we returned to the rescue ranch.

Tomorrow morning I plan to upload the corrections and then I will "push the button" for them to print my books. Here is a picture of the corrected book cover. Thank you so much, Trisha!

Y'all have a great evening!

"Nance, I Have Mark's Gift For You!"

Today has been really fun. This morning I didn't want to walk, but I did anyway because I wanted to catch up with the miles for my monthly quota. As of today for this month I have walked fifty-four miles and I am only one mile behind the needed fifty-five miles for the eleventh of April. So I am glad that I walked with Leslie. Tomorrow when I walk six more miles I will be caught up and then I will start getting ahead by at least one mile per day unless I take a day off.

Early this afternoon Lisa came out with some of her family that were visiting her from Mt. Pleasant. When Lisa told us the other day that they were coming down to Kerrville to see her, we asked Lisa to please bring them out so we could meet them.

As soon as they climbed out of Lisa's car I fell in love with them instantly. Talk about nice people! After we met Leighann, Lisa's younger sister, Leighann's husband Ken, and their beautiful daughter Hannah we went over to the Lodge for a short, but fun visit with Kinky. Then we returned to the rescue ranch.

While Lisa gave her family a tour  of the rescue ranch, Kinky called to tell me that our friend Steve Rambam was over at the Lodge, so I had to go back over to Kinky's because I needed to talk to Rambam, the famous real life private investigator in Kinky's mystery books. And I am glad that I did.

After I told Rambam about someone hacking into my computer last Thursday, and my e-mail and address book being hijacked, and the stupid letter that was sent out to everyone in my address book asking for money, and the fine detective work that Sage Ferrero had done, he told me to contact the Secret Service immediately because they investigate computer fraud. So I will contact them tomorrow since I am sure that they are closed on weekends.

When I returned to the rescue ranch Tone and I had a really fun visit with Lisa and her lovely family. We went into the Space Ship and they loved it, and then we went into Outer Space for a visit, and it was filled with non-stop laughter. When it was time for them to leave Lisa said, "Nance, I have Mark's gift for you, but I forgot to bring it with me. I'm sorry. You're going to love it. I swear."

I started laughing and said, "Lisa, please don't worry about it. Wait until you get my age. I forget so much nowadays—I even forgot about Mark's gift until you just reminded me. Just be glad that is the only thing you forgot today, but please try to remember to bring it with you tomorrow because I can't wait to see it."

Tomorrow is going to be one big day for me. In the morning after I walk six miles with Leslie I plan to contact the Secret Service, and then work on the web site that I am trying to build for my new book, which is arriving tomorrow! I cannot wait to see my book, and if it looks good then I will push the button to print the books that I have ordered. Please keep your fingers crossed for me that the book will look good.

Y'all have a great evening!

Coming Right Up!

This morning after walking six miles inside, I went outside to find a weed eater. When I reached the barn Tony was inside Hank's and Blue Bell's pen picking up poop, "Tone, I'm going to weed eat our front yard. Will you help me start the weed eater?"

Five minutes later my blue coveralls and glasses were covered in grass, and I was wildly whacking away in the front yard. When I had nearly a third of the yard flattened I looked up and saw Ellen Jackson and Eileen Gootke returning Kirby and Lulu to my writing cabin's front yard, so I turned off the weed-be-gone- machine and went to visit with them.

They teased me about "being in England" while I cleaned off my bifocals. "How is Sandy doing?" I asked.

"Sandy has a new name," Ellen said. "It's in keeping with you naming dogs after famous people. His new name is Jermaine Jackson. June thought of it, and we both agreed that Jermaine is the one famous Jackson that didn't do drugs, have plastic surgery, or have wardrobe malfunctions. In short, he's probably a pretty good person. Jermaine still doesn't know his name, so if a better name is offered, it will be no big deal to change it. Twinky has tried to get him to play a couple of times, but he is not ready for that. He follows her lead when they go out to do their business, so maybe play will happen soon."

"That is fantastic news!" I said. "Kinky, Tony and I cannot thank you enough for giving him a try..."

"Jermaine is a great dog and he does not want to come back to the rescue ranch. Everyday he just keeps getting better and better. He's mine." Then we talked about my new book while she and Eileen gave treats to Kirby and Lulu.

"I want to buy one," Eileen said. And then Ellen told me that she wanted to buy three copies! Yeah, I thought—four copies already pre-sold before I even have them! Then we started walking towards Dusty's pen so Ellen could walk her and Eileen could walk Jill and Scooby Doo together.

"Eileen, thanks so much for telling Tony about that photo contest," I said. "Tony entered that woman's contest. What is the name of her blog?"

"Pioneer Woman," Eileen said. "She's in Oklahoma and the name of her blog is: pioneerwoman.com."

"Well, I've never been to England, but I've been to Oklahoma..." I joked. While Ellen leashed up Dusty for her walk our conversation turned to the healing attributes of magnets. Then Ellen told us a funny story about her two magnets. "I bought a little magnet and a big one to see if they would help my backache. The little one which was about the size of the tip of my little finger cost me $9.00."

"Did they help?" I asked.

"I don't know?" Ellen said. "Before going to bed I taped the little one on my lower part of my back and when I got up the next morning it was gone." Eileen and I started laughing. "I think it fell off into my pajamas and I must have accidentally flushed it away." We all started laughing. "So I taped the larger magnet to my back and the next morning it was gone too. When I went to the brush my teeth I found it lodged in the toilet. I guess it was too big to be flushed so I fished it out and sterilized it and stuckt it on my refrigerator door. All I know is that my septic tank is in full alignment." Then somehow we started talking about Margaritas.

Eileen told us that she preferred Margaritas to wine because of a bad experience she had when she was young. "I've never had a margarita," I said, "because when I was about nineteen or twenty years old and living in Crested Butte, Colorado I swore off tequilla. It was winter, in the middle of ski season and every bar in town was celebrating John Wayne's birthday and giving away free shots of tequilla so I asked for a shot even though I knew nothing about tequilla. I put salt on my hand, licked it, threw down the tequilla and then bit into a slice of lime. Well, like a fool I ordered another free shot followed by several more then I went into the restroom. Things started spinning and I threw up. I was sicker than a dog and went home and that's when I swore off tequilla."

"Unfortunately, the next morning I had to go to work. I was a waitress at the Wooden Nickel and I was still sick from all of that tequilla. I waited on this family that was all dressed up in their expensive sweaters and ski outfits. After the man ordered his omelet with bacon he asked me for a warm bowl of chili and I immediately threw up on him! I felt so bad. I apologized and then ran to the bathroom. Fortunately my bosses: Uncle Gene, Rick and Eileen didn't fire me. They just told me to come back when I felt better. After the laughter was over I said, "I guess I should have told the man, "Coming right up!" The three of us visited a little while longer and then they took off with the dogs and I returned to the trailer so I could do some more weed whacking, but unfortunately I could not get it started after several attempts and since T. was nowhere to be found I came inside and started cooking our lunch.

Y'all have a great evening!

Billy Joe Shaver Just Found Not Guilty! Yeah!

Kinky just called. He told me the great news that the jury has just found our good friend Billy Joe Shaver—Not Guilty!  We are thrilled with the verdict! We love you, Billy Joe and we are so happy for you!

Tonight's blog is going to be very short because I am pooped because I spent much of my morning returning phone calls from concerned friends who received that ridiculous and fraudulent bogus e-mail about me being in England and desperately needing money. All I have to say is thank y'all for caring and  for those mean spirited people, in that organization over in Africa behind this spam-scan—y'all can go straight to you-know-where.

 Today I walked eight miles and am quickly catching up to my monthly quota of five miles per day. I want to thank Lisa, Meghann and Jim for coming out this morning to help Tony and to walk our dogs. Y'all Rock!

This afternoon Tony and I went over to visit our new-found friends Tom and Barbara Carpenter at their ranch and we had a blast. They are so cool! I wish that y'all could meet them because they are two of the nicest, interesting and down-to-earth people left on our planet.

Late this afternoon I went over to the Lodge to visit with Kink and I stayed nearly two hours because Kinky was receiving updates every fifteen minutes or so about Billy Joe's trial from a friend who was at the Court House. We talked about my new book which should be out within the next ten days, Billy Joe's trial, last night's Kinky Friedman Cigar Store Grand Opening at Republic Harley-Davidson in Stafford, Texas  and Marcie's visit in May.

Ellen Cooper just called me and we had a fun visit even though she and Charlie teased me relentlessly about me supposedly being in England. Fortunately, I am finally starting to laugh about the fraudulent spam-scan but I still have a lot of work to do to repair the damages done to my address book. I think that I am going to change my e-mail address and passwords real soon so I can hopefully prevent this from ever happening again.

Tone and I are fixin' to go into Outer Space for Happy Hour. Cheers!

Y'all have a great evening!

Well, I've Never Been To England, But I've Been to Oklahoma...!

This has been an incredible day for me and I don't know if I should laugh or cry. The first part of my day was really fun, but the second part went as far south as Africa. Before writing tonight's blog I poured me a glass of fine wine from my box, turned on my salt lamp that supposedly came from the Himalayans to help calm my nerves and then I made a new, but very short playlist for my iPod and I am listening to it as I type these words. When it gets too repetitive for me I will post tonight's blog and then go to bed and drift off to a much nicer place.

I only put three songs on the playlist: "Never Been To England" by Three Dog Night, and also Waylon Jennings' version of that song, and "Why Me Lord?" sung by Kris Kristofferson. Waylon is singing right now and I sure do miss him. Waylon was one of the best Country singers in the business and I am so glad that I got to see him tape a show for "Austin City Limits" many years ago before I left Austin fifteen years ago.

This morning I walked six miles while Lisa helped Tony with his chores outside. Then I returned several phone calls and e-mails before taking a shower and getting dressed in my "Easter Egg" outfit because we had a luncheon date in Kerrville with Carol and James at eleven-thirty.

Before Tone and I took off Lisa told us that she would hold down the fort while we were gone and to have fun. I love Lisa—she is so great!

When we arrived at the restaurant on time Carol and James were inside waiting for us and then the fun and laughter began! Before we placed our order I showed them a copy of the book cover that Trisha had printed out for me and they told me that they loved it—which meant a lot to me coming from them. Thank you Carol and James!

During our delicious meal I talked a lot as usual, but I am so glad that I did. When I told them about Harry and Ousie Jones wanting to do a book signing for me at Ousie's Table, their famous restaurant in Houston Carol said, "I can drive you to it." And that is when my jaw dropped. "Nancy, I will be glad to drive you to any city for a book signing..."

Two minutes later I was really excited about Carol taking me to Houston, and then we invited James and Tony to go with us, but their reaction was quite the opposite of mine. Tony shook his head no and James didn't say anything, but his body language said it all—no way—no thank you. Carol and I started laughing and we teased them about not wanting to go with us to Houston. I had so much fun eating lunch with them.

When we were done eating we said our goodbyes and then we went our separate ways. Tony and I went to Walmart, H.E.B to fill up Buttermilk and then to Hoegemeyers so we could pick up Marlin and bring him back to the rescue ranch after being dipped for mange for the last time.

When we arrived at the rescue ranch Lisa greeted us and told us about her day. "Paul came out and I helped him unload the dog food..." Thank you, Paul! After Lisa left to go home we went to the trailer and that's when things went totally south for me. Waylon is singing right now. What a voice!

When we walked inside the trailer I immediately knew that something was wrong because Carlton was flashing like a maniac. After greeting our dogs we let them go outside to potty and I checked my messages. I had twenty-two new calls from worried friends that all wanted me to call them immediately because they were concerned about me!

Basically the messages went something like this: "Nancy, are you okay? Call me as soon as you get this message! I just received an e-mail from you saying that you were in England at a friend's funeral and you asked me to send you $1,500.00 because you needed it immediately and you promised to pay me back in a week..."

"What?" I said to Tony. "What the hey is going on?" Actually I used a cuss word instead of hey. Then Sandy Wolfmueller called and I picked up the receiver. Sandy sounded stressed and seemed to be almost as upset as me. She told me about getting that e-mail and said that friends of mine were calling their store because they were concerned about me. Then Sandy read the fake e-mail that was supposedly sent from me. "Nancy, this is really serious! Someone  out there is trying to take on your identity!" Before I said goodbye to Sandy I told her that I was going to call the F.BI.! And I did after taking three Aspirins and posting a short blog notice about not being in England and for no one to send money.

The man that I spoke to from the F.B.I. in San Antonio was so nice to me. After I told him about what all had happened and how upset I was he calmed me down quickly and suggested that I send everyone in my address book a short note to let them know that the e-mail was a fraudulent spam. Then he asked me about my computer and then he asked his partner the best way for me to handle sending my 250 friends a note. Before hanging up the phone the kind agent told me that this is happening more and more and that I could not file charges unless the person or persons had actually stolen money or something from me. Kris Kristofferson is now singing and I just got another glass of fine boxed wine.

As soon as we disconnected I went online to send a note to all of my friends. The minute my e-mail account opened up—all of of my seventy-one saved e-mails and my e-mail addresses were deleted. Leaving me with no one to contact because I no longer had any addresses and that is when I started crying. Then I called Kinky who was on the road with Little Jewford headed to Republic Harley-Davidson in Stafford, Texas for the Grand Opening of their Kinky Friedman Cigar Store.

After I told Kinky about everything that had happened he said, "Nance, when Brian Kanof called me to tell me about the letter he received from you I thought Nance has either finally gone-around-the-bend big time or you needed money to print your book." Then we started laughing. Then he told me to contact Rambam, our friend that is a famous private investigator.

Then Bill Hageman, a dear friend from the Chicago Tribune called me about the e-mail. After we talked about it, Bill told me that he had followed the fake e-mail link and he gave me the address in England where the money was to be sent. I wrote it down carefully so I could give the info to the F.B.I.! Then he told me about an electical fire in his house that was going to take at least six months of repairs before he and his wife, Dona could move back into it.

Thank goodness I made a hard copy of my e-mail addresses several years ago, because I spent the next five hours this evening individually sending e's out to my friends from around the world about the fraudulent e-mail scam. During the process I received an e from my friend Sage Ferrero about the spam scan and she found out a lot about the people who stole my addresses and we know who they are! I was so excited with her news I forwarded it to Mari because she had sent me a sweet e-mail about being hacked and violated.

Sage told me that the scammers IP address was sent from the third floor in a building in Africa and from what organization. And the part about being sent from Cousin Nancy she discovered that they had  intentionally misspelled cousin using an extra "i" in Cousin—Cousiin Nancy. Wow! I was so impressed with her detective work and am so relieved that it wasn't from someone stalking me. Waylon is now singing and I am feeling exhausted, even though I will never get tired of hearing his voice.

I want to thank everyone for calling me today and being concerned about me—it has touched my heart deeply. If you did not receive an e-mail from me explaining what happened today please send me an e so I can add your address to my new address book. Fortunately, I just discovered that I still have all of my contacts info in my iTouch so it will take me several days to get all of the info back into my computer.

Like I said earlier today has been really incredible. I want to thank Carol and James for the really fun lunch we had today and I want to thank everyone who has called or sent me an e. I truly love y'all.

Tomorrow morning I plan to call the F.B.I. again and give them all of the information that I now have thanks to Sage and Bill. Who knows, maybe they can do something about it. And please know that I would never send out an e-mail like that so do not ever respond or think it is from me. And besides y'all know that it is next to impossible to get me to ever leave Kerr County. Thank you, Sage and Bill. Good night.

Y'all have a great evening!