One Scoop!

Well, Rick arrived about five minutes after I had finished doing our 2017 taxes, so after howdies and hugs we decided to celebrate him being up here with us and for me finally getting our taxes done.

So we sat out on the front porch and declared it—Happy Hour and it was so much fun catching up with Rick's latest news about him leaving Nicaragua and moving back to Port A. Omg, we talked non-stop and Happy Hour ended up lasting two hours or drinking two beers each.

Then like old folks we stopped drinking and ate a pizza, out on the front porch. And during dinner I started feeling guilty about hiding the ice cream from Rick, so after they finished-off the pizza, I came inside, grabbed three bowls, three spoons, an ice cream scoop and our last, precious tub of H-E-B's Limited Edition, Creamy Creations Mexican Hot Chocolate and took everything outside.

After Tony and I told Rick about this delicious ice cream, he served himself one scoop. And moments later, Rick took a second helping of the ice cream. "This is the best ice cream that I've ever eaten!" Rick stated, as he served himself scoop #3.

I was thrilled that Rick loved our ice cream as much as we did, but in the back of my head I was thinking, "Gosh, I hope he doesn't eat anymore." And he must have read my thoughts, because after he ate the third scoop he announced that he was full and could eat no more.

I was so thrilled about Rick not eating anymore of our treasured ice cream, I grabbed the tub, went into the kitchen and took this picture of it, before trying to hide it again, inside the freezer.

I took this picture to show you how much ice cream was left, but I also took this picture to document the amount leftover, so I can prove if Rick eats anymore of it.

Late last night Carol sent me this email:

"I just read your blog. Hide it in the freezer in my barn until Rick Leaves."

Today has been great. Rick helped Tony build a picnic table this morning and this afternoon the three of us went to Home Depot, to buy a lamp kit, so Rick could help me build a lamp. And that is about it for tonight, because Rick just made a lame excuse and went inside The Cabin, so I am fixin' to go over to Carol's ranch pronto and hide the tub of ice cream in her barn.

And if Rick happens to ask me where is the ice cream, I'm going to tell him, "I ate it."

Y'all have a great evening and keep on laughing!  

Happy Birthday, Leisa Lea In Port Aransas! You Rock!

Tony and I want to wish our dear friend Leisa Lea the greatest birthday ever! Happy Birthday to You! Happy Birthday to You! Happy Birthday Dear Leisa! Happy Birthday to You! We love you!

Please tell Rick "The Friendly Lighthouse Keeper" to give you a big hug from us and please tell Squirt "The Fastest Dog In Port Aransas 2010" to give you a kiss from us! You Rock, Girl!

Grandma Mammy!

Saturday was so much fun even though the Ride For Harley-Ray had to be canceled due to the weather! Instead of walking with Leslie in the morning, Hazel and I cleaned the trailer because Leisa Lea and Rick Richenbach, our good friends from Port Aransas were coming up to see us and spend the night.

After Hazel went back into the closet I mopped the trailer floors and then I went outside and saw Ellen Jackson and Eileen Gotke our friends and great dog-walking volunteers nearby. I hollered at them and invited them to come up to the trailer before they started walking our dogs. A couple of minutes later they were inside the trailer and we were all laughing!

"Nancy, I have a special gift for you that I bought in Fredericksburg," Eileen said as she pulled a pink felt cowboy hat trimmed in pink feathers with expensive rhinestones. As she fiddled around with something inside the hat Eileen said, "When I saw it I thought of you and I just had to buy it!" Then the rhinestones on the top part of the hat started flashing with bright lights that changed colors. The three of us started laughing immediately. "I thought you could wear this thing when you are playing the drums with your pink drumsticks."

I ran out of the room into my office and then quickly returned with my pink, feathered sticks with glitter and my lavender colored drum pad that has a pink bow glued to the top of it. "I love the hat!" I said. "The hat matches my drumsticks perfectly!" Here is a picture of Eileen holding my pink hat and that is Ellen's arm on the right and the reason that the picture is a little bit blurry is because I was shaking with laughter when I shot Eileen in the big room.

Then Ellen or Eileen suggested that I replace one of Tony's cowboy hats on the wall with it, as a joke so I did. And guess what? I love seeing it next to my Roy Rogers' wall and I plan to hang it there permanently. Here is a picture of my new, beautiful, flashing-light cowgirl hat hanging on the wall right next to Roy.

After we finally quit laughing about my new pink, flashing cowboy hat, Ellen gave me the greatest update on Sandy, who she adopted from us a few weeks ago. She renamed Sandy—Jermaine Jackson and I like that. Ellen told us that Jermaine is now a very happy dog and he has adjusted to the city life really well! Her news and Eileen's pink hat made my day and I told them so. Then we talked some business. They bought several copies of my new book and I signed them for them and then I invited them to go into Outer Space with me for a visit.

After we sat down our hen party started and it was non-stop laughter. Eileen and Ellen are very funny people and they have great senses of humor and they had me laughing so hard my back began to ache a little. Somewhere during our fun conversation, I guess when I started talking about our uncreative, part-time poltergist that visits us inside the trailer we started trading funny stories about funny funerals and ghosts, etc. 

To protect the innocent and the guilty I am not going to say who said this in our conversation. "One time I was at a funeral and the biggest three tier flower arrangement had this little old-timey plastic telephone that looked like a kid's toy on it. It looked like one of those rotary dial up phones that we used to use. Anyway, the little phone was attached to the tier and the handset that you held and talked and listened to was off of the hook and attached next to a big glittery sign, in big letters that read: Jesus is calling you."  And we broke out laughing!

And then I fell apart when one of them told me about a family member who had died and she had wanted to be buried next to her grandmother in a nearby town instead of next to her mother where she was supposed to be buried. 

"Bless her heart, we cremated her and the funeral home director asked me and my sister if we wanted to split up her ashes. We didn't know that you could do that or if it was even legal. We decided to split up her ashes and we both got a box with her in it."

"Did you tell them that you wanted the top part?" I joked. We laughed and then she continued with her hilarious story.

"We wanted to grant her her last wishes, so my sister and husband and I had a really big, but not tall, long tombstone made with her name and Grandma Mammy's name on it and it was really heavy. So early one morning after my husband had carefully loaded it into the back of our pickup so my sister and I could easily drag it out of the back of the truck, she and I took off for the little nearby town where Mammy was planted. Right after dawn we arrived at the cemetery and we found her grave and then we backed up beside Grandma Mammy's grave. Fortunately no living soul, but us were in the small town cemetery so my sister and I dragged the grave marker out of the pickup and we placed the heavy thing right next to Mammy's grave and then we quickly drove away real fast! And no one has ever found out!"

We were laughing so hard after hearing her story we had tears falling from our eyes. The other one then said, "One time I was at a funeral being held in a cemetery and right next to the grave site there was this big, tall, round heavy grave marker that looked just like a giant firecracker and guess what the words on it said?" There was a long pause. "Pop!" She said. I laughed so hard I accidentally farted, but fortunately it wasn't real loud and they were laughing with me, so I don't think they even heard it. After a few more tales that I cannot repeat they took off to go walk our dogs. Thank you, Eileen and Ellen! 

When I came inside the trailer Carlton was flashing to let me know that Kinky had called. After I returned his phone call I went over to the Lodge for a fun, but short visit. When I told him some of Ellen's and Eileen's hilarious stories and about me accidentally passing gas he cracked up with laughter.

Right after lunch, at one o'clock Rick and Leisa arrived! To Be Continued... (Sorry, Mari.)

Y'all have a great evening! 

Squirt's The Fastest Dog In Port Aransas!

It's Saturday evening and I am watching "The Queen" on TV starring Helen Mirren. I watched that movie last year and found the Queen of England to be someone that I never want to meet or know because I don't like snooty people. And that is why I am writing this short blog.

Late this afternoon Tony and I went to Walmart in Kerrville to get a few supplies. Before getting out of Buttermilk we made a bet if we would see someone we knew. T. said we wouldn't and I said we would.
After closing my door, I laughed out loud because Laura, Mary Jo's daughter was two cars down loading up her groceries. "Hi Laura...! After visiting with her for a couple of minutes I bragged about winning the bet with Tone as we walked towards the store.

Twenty minutes later we were in the process of being checked out by a very friendly, cute and courteous young man when the Queen of Walmart arrived two carts behind us and we didn't even know it until our last item which was a box of my Franzia Chillable Red wine wouldn't scan.

The friendly upbeat checker tried scanning my fine boxed wine on all sides but nothing worked. Then he looked at the bottom of the wine box and said, "They sealed the bottom of the box wrong and the scanning numbers are hidden. I'm sorry. Do you know how much it is?" We shook our heads no so the sweet kid called for assistance on isle ten.

Seconds later a nice woman came to our check out counter and then she took off to get another box of fine wine so it could be scanned. While she was gone wine box hunting, the Queen of Walmart reared her ugly brunette head. In a very loud voice she said, "What in the world is going on here? Would someone please explain to me why I am standing in this line and nothing is happening! Is there some kind of a problem?" The cashier blushed and so did I. I felt embarrassed for the kid.

"Yes, there is a problem," I said in a soft calm voice even though I was mad about her being so rude. "My expensive fine wine box won't scan and we are waiting for a woman to return with a scannable box of wine." Then I did something that I never do, because I hate it when snooty people roll their eyes and shake their heads in disgust. After rolling my eyes and shaking my head I shot her a look, and then I apologized to the couple next in line. They smiled and told me it was no big deal. Then we watched the snobbish woman yank her cart out of the line and take off in a huff.

A minute later the woman showed up with a scannable box of wine and I wrote a check for our groceries. On our way out of the store we saw the Queen impatiently waiting in line behind three carts and we laughed. On our way to Buttermilk T. mocked her and we laughed. "Tone, I wish I had told her that  there wasn't any problem at all and that we had just decided to take a five minute break here..."

The moral of this story is to just be nice, and to always remember that anyone who shops at Wally World is not qualified to ever act like a rich snob who thinks that they are more important than anyone else.

When T. and I got home we had two messages on our answering machine. One was from our friend Rick, the friendly lighthouse keeper, and Ruth Buzzi! Ruthie had a question and Rick wanted to let us know that Squirt, Leisa's little dog that she rescued from their pound, had won the wiener dog race in Port Aransas! Rick was so excited! "Squirt's the fastest dog in Port Aransas!" Rick said sounding like a proud father bragging about his child! Congratulations Squirt!

Y'all have a great evening!

Miami, Medina And Minnesota!

This morning Lisa showed up with her best friend, Sheri, who was visiting her from Midland, to show her the rescue ranch. While Lisa gave Sheri a grand tour outside I ran circles around the big room with Les and her crew for six miles.

While I cleaned up, Tony, Lisa & Sheri went over to the Lodge to visit with Kinky. When they returned from their fun visit, Tony brought them inside so I could meet Sheri. I really liked Sheri right off of the bat, and could not believe that she was just as radiant and full of good vibes as Lisa was! They were like two peas in a pod. No wonder they are best friends.

Around noon, our good friend, Maribeth Couch from Utopia, who used to work out here before the economy went south and we had to let her go, showed up and we had a really fun visit! We talked and laughed for hours as we caught up with each other's news. Around three o'clock Maribeth had to take off for Kerrville, and I really hated to see her leave because Tony and I were having so much fun with our dear friend.

There are a couple of sayings that Kinky likes to use and I love both of them. They go something like this: "There are two kinds of people in this world. The ones who enter a room and bring you joy, and then there are the ones who leave a room and bring you joy." The other is: "There are two kinds of people in this world. They are either tedious or charming. I prefer charming." Me, too!

Today I was lucky to be with people who brought joy into the trailer and who were more than charming, even though Mercury is you know where right now, and tonight's another blue moon over Miami, Medina and Minnesota! Thank you, Lisa, Sheri and Maribeth! Y'all really brightened my day!

Around three-thirty Lisa, our angel in disguise, came back out with her friend, John, to walk our dogs! Our dogs loved it and so did we! Our rescue ranch is so lucky to have found Lisa and her many dedicated, volunteer dog-walking friends.

I cannot believe that there are less than four hours left before Tony and I take down our Utopia Animal Rescue Ranch 2009 calendar, celebrating ten years of rescue, from the kitchen wall and replace it with "The Port A. Family Trip 2010" calendar that I made for Cindy & Ray, Ron & Nita, and us. I used pictures that Tone and I took while we were down there visiting Rick and Leisa on the island for two days, back in October, to celebrate my fifty-eighth Halloween. Trust me, turning fifty-eight is mighty scary! It is a trick and not a treat.

I cannot believe that 2009 has come and gone so quickly. And, I can't believe that I have come and gone here and there for over fifty-eight years on this planet. I feel like a wore out energizer bunny that seriously needs to be recharged. Hopefully, it will be this year and solar. I'm old now, and I can't believe how fast time has marched by and how many miles that I have walked with Leslie Sansone this past year.

Y'all have a Happy New Year! And may 2010 be the best year for all of us!

Tony Rocks!

This morning, after George and his camera crew came out to scout around Echo Hill Ranch, for an upcoming photo shoot, for the book jacket, of Kinky's newest book—'Kinky Friedman's Celebrity Pet Files.' Tony and I began packing for Carol's and our Tuesday—Wednesday Vacation! Talk about excited—we started really getting excited after Buttermilk, Tony and I went to Kerrville to pick up our Rent-a-SUV! The minute that I saw it, I immediately named it Silver!

After signing a few forms, I gave them my credit card, and Silver was now ours for three days and totally free—I love credit cards! After handing over Silver's reins (keys) to Tony, T. and I played Paper or Scissors, out in the parking lot, to see who would get to take Silver back to our rescue ranch! Tone won. He was a rock and I was scissors. I guess you could say—Tony Rocks!

When we arrived back at the ranch, T. was all excited! "Nance! Silver has Sirius radio with Alpine speakers! And, I loved the way that he handled on the road!" Tony and I then started packing! First, the ice chest, and then we went down to the barn, so Tony could grab some of his many fishing rods, tackle, etc. "Tony, do you know where my pink fishing rod is?" I asked. "I'll fish, if you will bait my hook, and release my fish for me?
Okay?"

Tony laughed, "Nance, it is over there in that bucket, by the chop saw. I don't know why you can't bait your own hooks and release the fish? A lot of women bait and release their own fish. I know Carol does."

The thought of actually baiting something live to a fish hook, and removing a hook from some poor unlucky fish's mouth—made me sick and gave me goose bumps. "Never mind, Tony—I won't fish," I sulked, hoping that Tony would catch my bait—and he did! Thank goodness!

"Nancy, I'll bait your hook and release whatever you catch," Tone promised. I was so happy! "Nance, you're not planning on doing a lot of fishing down there—are you?"

"Oh no Tony, I'm not," I said. "I just want to do one cast—and get a picture of me holding the rod and reel, that's all, so I can blog about fishing with you, Rick, Leisa, Pete and Kelly, and John. You know that I hate fishing. I'm planning on doing some serious writing on the porch, while y'all fish." Tony then perked up for some reason.

Y'all would absolutely laugh your heads off, if you saw how much stuff that Tony and I are taking for our overnight excursion! We're talkin' two, big overstuffed duffel bags filled with clothes, three cameras, my laptop, our portable Bose, our four iPods, five rods and reels, my three mile walking DVD, a big ice chest filled with water, spirits and some Miles of Chocolate, cheese and crackers, Tony's Garmin GPS, cowboy boots and Crocs! And yes, I will be wearing my pink Justin Gypsy ropers! I sure hope that Carol isn't bringing a lot, because we might sink the boat, before we get to that island with the lighthouse!

Y'all have a great evening—I still have a lot more packing to do! Hi-O Silver!

We'll Be Coming Around The Mountain!

Today, our neighbor, our dog walking volunteer and good friend, Carol V., sent me an e-mail about our adventurous trip to Port Aransas, that we’ve been planning—another twenty-four hour get-a-way for Tone and me! We have worked out the details, and unfortunately Ben can’t go with us this time—even though Rick demanded that Ben bring a brick of his and Miles delicious chocolate—Miles of Chocolate.

After a couple of e-mails back and forth to Carol, Ben, Rick, John Kemmerly and Pete and Kelly—Tony and I are taking another vacation to the coast with Carol! And, we can’t wait! We’re talking a Blast—with a capital B!

When I called Rick and told him that Ben wasn’t going to be able to make it down there, he was really disappointed, until I told him that we would bring him and Leisa some of our Miles of Chocolate stash. I don’t know who is more excited about our trip, but I can tell you this, T. has already packed his bags and fishing equipment!

After all of the arrangements were set in stone, Buttermilk, Tony and I went to Kerrville to shop for our trip—Tone bought two new pairs of Wrangler jeans at Gibson’s, while I shopped for groceries over at HEB. He is planning on wearing a new pair to “The Riders In the Sky” concert, this weekend on Valentines Day, and he is taking both pair to Port A.

On our way back home, I said, “Tony, I am going to bring my guitar, so Rick and Pete and I can maybe play some music together, out on the porch by the lighthouse. It has been over a year and a half since I’ve played, and my callouses are completely gone from my fingers, but if I start strummin’ today —maybe my fingers won’t hurt so bad.” Tony liked my idea.

When we arrived back at the rescue ranch, Kinky had called and left two messages on our answering machine. When I called Kinky back, we discussed two things—our vacation to Port Aransas, and The Friedman’s serious low supply of chewgars. “Kinky, ‘Erb has just sent me an e-mail about him sending more ‘Chewgars’ and I promise you that we will only be gone for twenty-four hours or less.”

Here are some pictures of the incredibly great guitar, that my brother, Ronnie, custom built for me, which is signed by Willie Nelson and Billy Joe Shaver! Willie signed my guitar on March 28, 2003, when Kinky took Ben, Tony and me, as his guests, to a Willie concert at The Backyard in Austin, Texas! We spent over an hour on Willie’s bus—talk about fun! And Billy Joe, signed my guitar, two year later, after visiting Tony and me and singing two love songs to us, inside our trailer, several years ago!. He fell in love with Ronnie’s guitar, too! And, the last picture—Tony took of me today—tuning up my guitar. My fingers are killing me! Y’all have a great evening!

P.S. Just a reminder—I’m doing The Harley Show in the morning! I hope that y’all can catch the show at 7:45! And tomorrow Kinky, will be doing an interview with Bob Cole on KVET, 98.8 in Austin at 8:05! (Kinky has asked T. and me to please give him another wake up call—just in case he doesn’t wake up in time.)