Howdy folks! Today has been great as always and a few minutes ago I just uploaded and published another YouTube Short and I do hope that it makes you laugh out loud.
And I do want to thank you in advance for watching another one of my Shorts.
Y'all take care and keep on laughing and please always remember Life is Short and so am I!
Howdy folks! Todays YouTube Short is a Cousin Boomer update and after listening to it it sorta helps explain why he and his wife are having problems in the marriage department.
I want to thank you in advance for listening and if it did make you laugh please click on the Like button. Y'all take care and keep on laughing!
Howdy folks. I just uploaded my third video on YouTube Shorts and this one is only 25 seconds long and I hope that you will check it out and that it makes you laugh out loud. And if you laughed please click on the Like button. Take care and keep on laughing!
Howdy folks this is Cousin Nancy and you’re listening to the Cousin Nancy Show and I want to dedicate this podcast episode to Tony’s and my great neighbors: Angel, Wolfgang, Robert, Clive, Curtis, Kelly, Terry, Jennifer, Jeff, Becky, John, Ricky, Royce J.D., Deborah, Stacy, Makhail, Carol, Bill, Steve, Ellen, Charlie, Lisa and Andy. And the reason that I am dedicating this to all of them is, because I love them and they are all great people.
So to start things off here is a quick Cousin Boomer Update:
My Cousin Boomer was recently in Austin, at a friend’s funeral & before the priest read the eulogy Boomer pulled out his cellphone and asked the priest for the church’s WiFi password.
And that request seemed to really annoy the priest, so he softly and sarcastically whispered the wi-fi address, and then he told, ”Boomer, please have some respect for the dead!"
So, Boomer nodded his head to show that he understood, and then he said, “Okay I will, but is it caps or all lower case?” And sadly Boomer still doesn’t understand why he was escorted out of his friend’s funeral.
Oh and last month—Boomer finished writing a book on "How to make money.”
And he told Tony that he needs money to self-publish it. And Tony told him to go read his book. So now Boomer is no longer speaking to Tony.
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Okay, now let’s talk about what we are feeding our dogs, but first let me ask you this one question:
What’s a dogs favorite cookbook? Fifty Shades of Gravy
For several years now I have been cooking for our dogs, because I enjoy it and because it is so much healthier for them to eat instead of dry dog food kibble.
And I have now come up with a new, healthier diet for our dogs to eat and they seem to really love it.
My new recipe is very healthy and the only drawback or downside to it is it causes Henry Standing Bear to have these horrible, super-stinky-smelling farts. And I have spent months trying to figure out what ingredient or ingredients I should omit, so Henry will stop cutting-the-cheese inside our house, every thirty minutes or so.
Seriously, his foul farts are so bad that we now have our ceiling fans turned on to high speed/full blast to help circulate the air all of the time—even if it is chilly inside our house or cold outside.
And I have named this new dog recipe: Gone With the Wind! Thanks to Henry and our circulating ceiling fans.
First, in the Insta-pot I cook a one pound bag of brown rice using no-sodium Chicken broth and olive oil.
And while the rice is pressure cooking, using my Vita-mix machine, I blend together or better said—pulverize all of these ingredients together:
one large sack of Kale or brocolli
carrots
pumpkin seeds
1 doz. raw eggs with shells
1 can of Salmon with fish oil
And brussel sprouts, but do it at your own risk, because a few days ago we finally figured out what was causing Henry to be so gaseous.
After I do all of that I cook and scramble up a doz. eggs and then I mix everything together.
And lastly I add: Flax Seeds, oatmeal, Chia Seeds, thawed mixed vegetables and Blueberries. And it feeds our three dogs, Beau Bridges, Little Debbie and Henry Standing Bear, for a week. Then I make it again.
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A year ago last spring I was outside sitting on the porch after helping Tony mow the yard. I was listening to John Prine, on Pandora, singing one of my favorite songs of his—Crazy As A Loon. And that’s when I saw this beautiful, giant, black raven fly by, low to the ground and squawked at me twice.
So I mocked him or her back and that was the beginning of my new-found friendship with ravens. And since then, almost everyday, I spend anywhere from ten minutes to over thirty minutes mocking or talking back to these highly intelligent birds. And it has been a lot of fun for me even though I’m pretty sure that our neighbors, in hearing distance, must think I am this crazy old woman walking around outside—making these strange squawking, sounds.
When I told my friend Eileen about me talking to the ravens and that I was feeding them this cat kibble everyday, she suggested that I put out some shiny trinkets to give to my newly found, feathered friends. So the next time Tony and I went to Kerrville I went to one of those dollar tree type stores and spent about three dollars buying some cheap, shiny objects to give to them.
And so far, I am proud to report that my big, black-bird, friends still love eating the kitty kibble and they seem to like the shiny, cheap, gifts that I keep leaving out for them.
And if hearing me squawking at the ravens outside gives my neighbors something to smile and chuckle about I am now also talking to plants and hugging trees, too. But I am not squawking at them like I do with the ravens. I am just touching them and giving them big bear hugs.
You see several months ago I watched this short, Dr. Zach Bush documentary, on YouTube, about how important it is for us to be talking to our plants and trees.
In this very interesting documentary Dr. Bush talked about it being scientifically proven now that touching and talking to our plants and trees will cause amazing results.
He suggested that we touch the plant or tree and then say something like this to them, “I see you. You are beautiful and I love you.”
And trust me the results are instantaneous! I first started doing it with our house plants and then the real test was with this poor, four-leaves-only, struggling avocado tree, that I volunteered to baby-sit, inside our house, for Clive & Curtis during the cold winter months. And I named their avocado tree Ava.
And please note that my neighbor Jennifer originally owned Ava, but then she gave Ava to Clive and Curtis in the fall. And that is how I wound up with Ava.
Anyway, it probably is needless to say that all of our plants are the healthiest that they have ever been. And Ava, that poor struggling avocado tree now has over twenty leaves and is thriving over at Curtis’ and Clive’s place.
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And speaking of Eileen, since last June, Eileen and I have started drumming together, even though neither one of us has ever drummed before.
She and I now have snare drums, practice drumming pads, several sets of drumsticks and even our own drum thrones (which by the way is what they call drummer stools to sit on). And we are having so much fun practicing drumming together about once a week.
And not to brag—I have only fallen off of my drum throne once and thankfully Eileen and Tony were there to help pick me up and get me back on it.
Sadly, we still suck at drumming, but we are determined to keep practicing until we become great or our drumsticks break.
It is now make me laugh time and here are a couple of jokes for y’all.
Our neighbor banged on the front door at 4:30am this morning!!!!
Can you believe that. Luckily I was still awake listening to my music.
They knocked hard again and shouted, "Can we have a little respect please?"
I didn’t open the front door, because my dentures were out, so I shouted back, "I'm not a big Aretha Franklin fan but this ones for you.”
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Our neighbor just walked by our place with two big, hairy dogs.
Tony greeted him and said, "I didn't know you had any dogs."
He replied, "They're not my dogs. They're my sister's."
And Tony replied, "Wow, your sisters just pooped on our driveway!”
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Another neighbor friend of ours just started a new business making boats in his attic.
And the sails are through the roof.
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Okay here’s my last joke.
A man shoots a duck and it falls and hits his neighbor’s barn. So the man climbed over the fence to go fetch the duck.
This big old farmer sees his neighbor trespassing on his property, so he goes outside to confront him. He asks, “What are you doing on my property?”
The neighbor replies, “I came to get my duck that I shot it.”
“Sorry, but that’s not your duck,” the old man replies. “It’s on my property, so it’s my duck.” So they started arguing about the deceased duck.
Finally, the disgusted farmer throws his hands up into the air and says, “I know how we can settle this foul situation once and for all.”
“How?” the neighbor asks, scratching his head.
“We’ll take turns kicking each other in the groin until one finally gives up.” And the duck-killer reluctantly agrees to do it.
So the farmer says, “But I get to go first since the duck is on my property.”
The neighbor agrees and takes a stance and the old farmer kicks him as hard as he can in the groin.
Immediately, the wounded man doubles over, because he is in so much pain and agony and he falls down to the ground gasping for air and wailing in pain.
About 20 minutes pass and the duck-killer finally says, “Just give me one more minute to catch my breath and then I’ll kick you.”
And the farmer replies, “Nah, you can have the duck.” And then he walks away.
Well folks that is about it for now. I do hope that my podcast has made you laugh at least once, but if it didn’t—who cares!
I do want to thank y’all for listening. And please remember my favorite quote: “Life is short. And so am I!
Y’all take care and keep on laughing!
Earlier today my dear friend Eileen Gotke came out to Big Foot Ranch, to help me interview Nancy J. Bailey for The Cousin Nancy Show. And Eileen did such an awesome job, because of her research. And visiting with Nancy Bailey was so much fun I wished the three of us could have talked and laughed for another hour or two.
Nancy is a Michigan native, wildlife artist and author and she flavors all her work with her signature brand of self-effacing humor. Here's a list of just some of Nancy J. Bailey's books and her many accomplishments. She wrote: Clifford of Drummond Island, Return to Manitou, and Clifford’s Bay, a trilogy featuring true horse stories.
I discovered Nancy about 10 years ago when for my birthday present, Eileen gave me Nancy's book The North Side of Down: A True Story of Two Sisters, co-authored by her sister Amanda Bailey. And the winner of the 2015 Honorary Medallion from the Book Reader's Appreciation Group.
Other books by Nancy include: My Best Cat, a murder mystery, Holding the Ladder, a novel, The Sleeping Lion, a novel, The Cure for Shyness: A Love Story.
Nancy has a heart of gold and she is a big-time animal lover and an avid animal trainer. She has published four instructional books to share her training methods: 25 Ways to Raise a Great Puppy, 15 Rules for Clicker Training Your Horse, 15 Rules for Clicker Training Your Cat and 15 Rules for Clicker Training Your Dog.
Ms. Bailey is a community theatre buff and she has written, directed, produced and acted in several of her own plays, including On Lining Up, a comedy which earned her a CTAM Award.
Not only is Nancy one of Eileen's and my favorite authors—she is also a prolific artist, specializing in paintings of animals. She is winner of the Ex Arte Equinuus Award for Equine Art. She uses watercolor, acrylics, oils, pencil, pen and ink, and enjoys painting on slate, too.
Nancy paints commissioned pet portraits, capturing the spirit of the individual animal in each. Nancy admits that unfortunately, most of her portraits are post-mortem, so she describes herself as, "The Angel of Death." Or as she likes to say, "It's like being a playground bully. When someone starts to cry, I know I've done a good job." And here is the beautiful watercolor that Nancy gave to me over ten years ago. Which now hangs on a wall inside my writing cabin to help inspire me.
I promise that you will love and enjoy listening to this podcast. And to find out more about this amazing, super-talented woman please visit her Facebook page: Cliffy's Mom and you can check out her many books on Amazon. And lastly, please check out Nancy's book The North Side of Down.
And please go to Nancy Bailey's podcast to sign up, so you can listen to Nancy read her entire book The North Side of Down for free! And if it is free then it is for me!!!
To listen to this podcast either click here on The Cousin Nancy Show or the side bar on the left.
Before I finish writing this I would like to leave you with my favorite quote: "Life is short and so am I!" And if we did not make you laugh—who cares!
Y'all take care and keep on laughing!
P.S. As a teaser if you listened to the podcast here is that picture that Nancy drew of her sister having lunch with the cast of the TV show Friends.
Well I am finally podcasting, again! And in this episode 25 that I have transcribed for you if you don't want to listen to my voice I explain why the long lapse of time since doing my last podcast in March with our good friends Roxanne & Lyle. But if you would prefer to listen to this 15 minute podcast please click on The Cousin Nancy Show on the side bar or you can listen to it here.
When you get to my podcast all you have to do is pick a way to listen to it and you can listen to it now by clicking here.
Howdy Folks, this is Cousin Nancy and thank you for listening to the Cousin Nancy Show.
Before we get started I need to explain the long lapse of time since doing my last podcast. And I want to get it off of my chest, so I will try to keep it short and put it on a bumper sticker if possible. So here goes:
Last year while I was watching Super Bowl, a little voice inside my head told me to touch my left breast, and since this has never happened to me before, I touched it and I felt a lump and it scared the heck out of me.
But thanks to a couple of dear friends I found a fabulous doctor later on that week. And after the doctor had checked me out he told me he was concerned about the lump and he scheduled me to get a blood test, a mammogram and then a biopsy.
Thankfully, I did pass that horrible blood test with flying colors, but it left me bruised in four different places, because that inexperienced young man obviously did not know how to draw blood or a cartoon.
A week later came the crushing mammogram and that hurt even more than my four stab wounds that I had received from the blood test guy.
The following week they did the biopsy. And by now my nerves were completely frazzled.
Bottom line: I was then sent to see a general surgeon and I liked him, even though he wanted to give me a lumpectomy as soon as possible.
Luckily, my dear friend told me to talk to her sweet sister-in-law who had a lumpectomy, years ago, and she was great and she calmed me down, because she answered all of my questions concerning the surgery, etc.
On the morning of the surgery, April 5th around 4:45 in the morning, Tony woke me up. And before I climbed out of bed I threw it out to The Universe to please give me a sign if I should get the lumpectomy or cancel the surgery.
My first sign was immediate, because we were having a severe thunderstorm with heavy rain pounding our metal roof so loudly it made our dog Henry crawl underneath the bed.
The second sign was when I turned on the bedroom light and saw that my cherished alien-attracting-helmet had fallen off of the head post and it was on the floor, next to the bed. And in five years, ever since I made that thing this has never happened before. (And you can see my silver alien-attracting-helmet on the side bar, with me wearing it, standing next to my VW alien mural.
My third sign was when we drove to the hospital, in dangerous pouring rain, with lightning striking all around us.
The fourth sign was right after I had pre-registered, at the nurses station, I told Tony I was going to the bathroom. And the minute that I stepped out of the waiting area into the hallway— all of the lights went out in the entire hospital which really scared me until seconds later when the hospital generators kicked-in. I guess the hospital had been hit by lightning. Anyway by now I was seriously thinking that maybe I should reschedule the surgery or just simply forget about it all together and just go home.
A little while later this nice nurse took us to my tiny room and had me change into a faded, unisex gown and then I was quickly whisked away, in a wheelchair, to another room down the hallway, so they could start prepping me for my upcoming surgery.
And by now I was a nervous wreck until the nurse gave me a small paper cup filled to the brim with this dark green medicine to drink. And it looked like and it tasted like Vicks NyQuil.
Anyway a few minutes later after the nurses had returned me to my private room, the drugs were definitely kicking-in. I was suddenly relaxed and smiling. And while I talked to Tony, we happily watched one person after another, on gurneys, being wheeled down the hallway to go get their surgeries.
Okay now. Picture this. There I was on this bed with wheels, sitting on these paper thin, sheets of paper and I was obviously in some kind of La-La-Land, watching all of these people on gurneys go by, when I turned my attention to the country music that was playing loudly, throughout that hospital wing. And that is when I received my fifth and final sign—that definitely told me not to have the surgery.
Then seconds later, this kind nurse walked into the room to check on me and to offer me another warm blanket.
And as she was putting that blanket over me, I casually said to her, “That is one horrible song for people to have to listen to before they go into surgery.” And the nurse paused a moment to listen to the music, and then she said, “Oh my god!” As she rushed out of the room, into the hallway, and softly hollered, “Turn that music off now! Turn it off!”
And within seconds the music had stopped, and you could hear the sound of silence throughout that hospital, except for a few nurses giggling, at the nurse’s station.
And when that same nurse returned to my room, I jokingly said, “Now don’t get me wrong. I love Garth Brooks and his music, but listening to him singing that beautiful song, The Last Dance, before going under the knife is just a little too much.” Then the nurse, Tony and I began to chuckle about it.
But I guess the last laugh was on me, because about ten minutes later, before going into surgery the anesthetist came into my room to hook me up to an IV and before he left the room he asked me to please remove my dentures, because he was afraid during the surgery that they might get damaged.
So a few minutes later, there I was toothless and being wheeled down the hallway, into surgery. And that is all that I can remember. Thank goodness.
Less than an hour later, I woke up in my room with Tony standing beside my bed. And as I was putting my clothes back on my surgeon poked his head into my room and gave me a thumbs up, and he said, “I got it all! I will see you in a week.”Then I covered my mouth and I thanked him.
Before being wheeled out of the hospital in a wheelchair, I put on one of my old, gently used, blue, Covid-19 mask to hide the fact that I wasn’t wearing my dentures.
After we got into the truck Tony and I went to Walgreens to fill my prescriptions and we were told it would take an hour, because the pharmacist was out to lunch. And because Tony was starving I suggested that we go to Sonic to grab a hamburger, while we waited for my meds.
After Tony ate his burger with Tater-Tots and I had gummed my cheeseburger down we went and picked up my prescriptions.
When we were leaving town and were stopped at the last signal light, our pickup made this horrible sound and the check engine light came on immediately. So when the traffic light turned green Tony drove us across the intersection into a small convenience store’s parking lot, that was less than 100 feet away.
The bottom line is a tow truck picked up our truck and our dear friend Sandy rescued us and drove us home.
One week later, I went to see the surgeon and he told me that everything looked good and was healing great and then he suggested that I take a month off to rest and to heal. And to say the least I liked his plan.
During that month, a dear friend had suggested that I watch this 9 hour documentary, The Truth About Cancer by Ty Bollinger. And so I did.
Every day I would watch at least one, one-hour episode of The Truth About Cancer and I am so glad that I did, because I discovered that there are so many alternative ways of fighting cancer.
Anyway a month later, we went and saw my surgeon, again and he showed us the after surgery reports that showed that he did get all of the cancer, because the lymph node that he took out and the marginal area that had surrounded my lump that he had removed—were clean, non-malignant and were cancer free, too.
Even though my prognosis was good the surgeon did recommend that I set up an appointment with an oncologists, but I chose not to, because I knew I was cancer-free and I did not want chemo or radiation to destroy my immune system. And that is the main reason why I have not done a podcast for so long. And also because Tony and I were both working part-time jobs.
But please note that I am not giving advice to anyone dealing with Cancer. The choices that I made worked for me, but I do highly recommend to anyone fighting cancer to watch this eye-opening documentary about cancer, because if nothing else it will give you more insight about alternative treatments and having hope for a cure, because in many cases now days cancer is no longer a death sentence.
Now that I have gotten that out of the way or better said "Gotten that off of my chest" it is time for a Cousin Boomer update:
Last week Boomer came over for happy hour and while we were visiting with him he told us about his 2024 New Year’s resolution.
Boomer told us that he is planning to go to Paris, Texas, so he can take selfies of himself standing in front of the Eiffel Tower—which has this giant, shiny, cherry-red cowboy hat on top of the tower.
And he also plans to go to that famous, historic Evergreen Cemetery, in Paris, so he can get a selfie of himself standing by the 12 foot monument of Jesus in cowboy boots.
When Tony asked Boomer why he wanted to do that Boomer replied, “Because it’s near the top of my bucket-list and they are both free to the public.”
So while we were sipping our beers I told my cousin that I had just decided to write another mystery novel. And Cousin Boomer asked me if he could please be a character in it and I told him he could, because he told me that being a character in one of my books has always been on his bucket-list, even though he told me that it is near the bottom of his bucket-list, since I wrote my first book. And I think that was a compliment, but I am still not sure about that.
Anyway, since then all I’ve got for a plot is Cousin Boomer, who we all know is a traveling salesman, in real life, checks into the cheapest, most run-down, motel he can find, in Paris, Texas.
And after he has quickly checked into his room and has unloaded his suitcase—he jumps into his pickup truck, so he can go take selfies by Paris’ two, free, most famous, popular, tourist attractions.
And I’m thinking in the second chapter I’ll write something like this:
“Later that night, after Boomer has returned back to his motel room—he takes a hot shower. And when he comes out of the bathroom, he receives a note pushed from under the door, and he is even more intrigued, because it’s the closet door.
And the note’s three handwritten words were, “Remember the Alamo.”
And that is all that I’ve written so far, folks.
Okay. Now it is Joke Time and here we go.
Do you know that it’s a fact that life isn’t a fairy tale. For example, if you loose your shoe at midnight—you’re drunk.
Okay, here’s one about addiction:
I used to be addicted to the hokey-pokey—But I turned myself around.
And I like this one, too. Why do we call them olives and not—Greece’s Pieces?
And lastly, what do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato.
Well, folks that’s about it for this podcast. And I do promise to get back-in-the saddle-again and start podcasting on a regular basis. Some of my podcasts will still be about an hour long, but most of them will be much shorter—just so I can tell you a few jokes and to hopefully make you laugh out loud, because it is a fact, that laughter is the best medicine.
FYI: On February 9th, I want to give y’all a head’s up about an upcoming podcast, because I will be doing a super-fun podcast with my dear friends Eileen and her sister Dean with a live audience, in the Last Resort studio. And y’all will be in for a real treat listening to some of their hilarious tales. So please remember to mark your calendars.
Lastly, before I go I do want you to know that I love and am dedicating this podcast to some very special people in my life: Tony, Cindy, Ronnie & Nita, Eileen, Sandy, Jean, Steve, Andy, Sue, Lyle & Roxanne, Dylan, Lloyd, Clive & Curtis, Cindy P., Gerry, Angel, Debbie and Mack, and Fourth and to the finest nurses and the best doctors, in central Texas.
And that is about it for now. Thank y’all for listening. Y’all take care and keep on laughing. And please always remember my favorite quote that I came up with: “Life is short and so am I!” I love y’all.
Today has been great and I absolutely loved interviewing Paul & Alejandra Garrison.
In this fun episode I had a wonderful time interviewing this famous couple, Paul Garrison and his beautiful wife, Alejandra, who work as individuals or as a team training mules and their people. In other words, or their words to be exact:
"Mule school for the mule and his/her human. Offering training for the mule and the human in order for them to have a more harmonious relationship!"
Tony has known his good friend, Paul Garrison, since they were kids going to school, in Medina. Paul & Alejandra are professional mule/people trainers and they are known worldwide for their outstanding skills and knowledge of training mules and teaching "mule-people" everything that there is to know concerning mules.
Paul and Alejandra have and will travel worldwide doing clinics for groups of mule lovers and by appointment only people can bring this couple their mules for some one-on-one instructions and Alejandra & Paul will also travel to help individuals learn mulemanship and the art of training these magnificent animals.
For more information please check them out on Garrison Mulemanship & Training on FaceBook.
Or watch them on the Texas Country Reporter here.
To listen to this podcast please CLICK HERE or on The Cousin Nancy Show located near the top of the sidebar.
After doing the super fun and interesting podcast we went outside before they left and posed for Tony.
