Showing posts with label san antonio. Show all posts
Showing posts with label san antonio. Show all posts

Wednesday, October 30, 2024

Episode: 35 Mr. Toes Goes To San Antonio!

If you would like to listen to this podcast rather than have to read it please click here on: The Cousin Nancy Show or click on The Cousin Nancy Show on the right side bar. 👉

In this hilarious episode my guest is Eileen, one of the best storytellers and one of Tony's and my favorite people.

The laughter starts immediately when Eileen begins telling the story about her husband's cat, Mr. Toes, that they had entered into their first cat show, in San Antonio. Tony was laughing so hard he had to leave the room.

And when he returned to listen to the show Eileen and I were laughing about Eileen's hilarious story about her sister Dean's barrel racing experience on a racehorse named Hummer. So once again, Tony had to leave The Last Resort Recording Studio aka Cousin Nancy's kitchen, because he could not quit laughing.

Then a few minutes later when Tony had calmed down and returned again, Eileen had me laughing about her story about this monkey riding a pony.  So Tony immediately turned around, waved goodbye and left the "recording studio," because his back was aching from laughing so much.

And this was not the end of the laugh-a-thon, because Cousin Nancy gives a Cousin Boomer Update followed by Eileen and her trading some pretty funny jokes. And this part is transcribed and has pictures.

Okay. Here’s a Cousin Boomer Update for y’all:

The other day Boomer came over and he was pretty depressed. And he told us that he was so poor he had rubbed cologne, from a magazine, on himself and when I said, “Well you smell good. What are you wearing?”

And Boomer said, “page 17.”


******

Now it is My Thought For Today Time!

As I watch this generation try and rewrite our history, I'm sure of one thing:  It will be misspelled and have no punctuation.

*******

Okay now it is Make Me Laugh Time! Thank goodness.

There was this blonde and she won a boat from a contest. Her husband told her she should sell the boat, because there was no water and no fish within fifty miles. 


She told him, “Nope I am going to keep it.” So she parked her boat in the back pasture.

A few days later her sister came over and asked her husband, “Where’s my sister?”

And he told her that she was fishing on her boat— in the field.


So the sister walks over to the back fence and hollers, “Debbie what are you doing?”

And the blonde says what does it look like I’m doing? I’m fishing!”

And her sister says, “Well, that is about the dumbest thing that I have ever heard of. You ought to be ashamed of yourself.”


So the blonde put down her rod and real and hollers back, “If I could swim I would come over there and kick your behind.”


Now Tony told me this joke. 

On a chilly afternoon a woman took her dog to the grocery store with her. Before she went shopping she rolled the windows down to make sure her dog was comfortable and when she got out of her car, she said, “Now stay. Do you hear me? I said stay.”


And a blonde, sitting in the car beside hers, says, “Why don’t you just put it in Park?”


Now, here are a few cat and dog jokes for y’all:


What do you call a cat who loves to bowl? An alley cat.

What do you call a fluffy male cat asleep on a bed? A Himalayan.

What did the alien say to the cat? Take me to your litter.

What do you give a cat with allergies? An anti-hiss-tamine.

What do you get when you cross a chick with an alley cat? A peeping tom.

Why aren’t cats religious? They’re scared of dogma.

And speaking of show dogs here are a few more jokes:

My dog’s not fat. He’s just a little Husky!

The Dalmatian hid from people because he didn’t want to be spotted.

You’re the best dog in the world. I Shih Tzu not.

In this race, the Weiner takes it all.

I worked all day with no break. It was a Mastiff waste of time.

And this concludes this segment of Make Me Laugh Time. 

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Here are pictures of Mr. Toes and Eileen's husband showing off the ribbons and rosette.




I do hope that my podcast has made you laugh at least once, but if it didn’t—who cares! I want to thank y’all for listening. And please remember my favorite quote: Life is short. And so am I.

And I would also like to thank my dear friend Eileen for being on the show and telling us a few of her hilarious stories.

Y’all take care and keep on laughing! Adios y’all!

Monday, November 17, 2008

Barnes and Noble-San Pedro, San Antone!

The calendar signing at Barnes and Noble was fantastic, and a lot of fun! I wish that all of y'all could have come to it! Kinky was great and Little Jewford was hilarious, as always! Our 2009 calendar celebrating ten years of our rescue—sold like hot cakes! People kept complimenting us on how much they loved Tony's and my pictures, etc.! I loved it! And B, who adopted Betty White was there, with her mother Gloria! Betty White loves her new family and they love her so much!

Tony and I were exhausted when we returned to the rescue ranch, and we went to bed early. I apologize for not blogging last night.

P.S. We've got heat! How cool is that!





Sunday, November 16, 2008

See Y'all at Barnes and Noble, San Pedro, San Antonio at 2:30!

Kinky and I will be signing our calendars at 2:30 today! Thank goodness Tony is driving me there! Barnes and Noble, San Pedro address is 321 NW Loop 410 #104. Our calendar is 12" x 12"—be there or be square!

Friday, November 14, 2008

A Family Affair!

Today, has been another great day—as usual! It started out with Ben and me going over to visit Kinky at seven-thirty this morning! It was a blast—to say the least!

We had three sets of visitors come out today. Mike and Ben S., from Dallas, and Catherine Berry, who helps us adopt out our dogs, up in Buchanan Dam.

Katherine arrived around 2:15, and we had a short, but fun visit in Outer Space. She loved going into Outer Space with me, and she really loved my Space Ship! I also introduced her to Miles of Chocolate and of course—she loved it! She told me that she could not wait to get home to buy some online! We then went over to the Lodge to visit Kinky and Russ.

We had a fun visit, sitting outside by The Friedman Family Bond Orchard. As Catherine and I were fixing to leave, Russ asked if I he could come over to the rescue ranch, so he could eat some of Tony’s and my Miles of Chocolate. Of course, my answer was yes.

Ten minutes later, Tony, Ben, Catherine, and me were sitting in Outer Space, watching Russ eat a chunk of the best chocolate—on this planet!

Well, tomorrow is the big day—Kinky and I will be at the Barnes & Nobles Arboretum at 2:00 to sign copies of ‘Celebrating Our 10 Years of Rescue’—2009 Calendar, which by the way, is selling faster than a GTO! We are so proud of it! I can’t believe that it has been over ten years since we started the Utopia Animal Rescue Ranch—it still seems like it was just yesterday!

I am leaving tomorrow morning, bright and early, and driving up to Ronnie and Nita’s house, in Dripping Springs. Ronnie is the best brother anyone could wish for! I called him earlier this week and asked him if he could drive me to Barnes & Noble, because I am terrified of Austin traffic. He said yes! I then asked him, if I could also spend the night with them, because it will be dark, and I cannot drive at night—again—he said yes! Yes, he is great—I love him!


From our gate to Ronnie and Nita’s gate, it is exactly one hundred miles—it takes me two hours to drive it. My plan is to sneak out of Ronnie’s house, at the break of dawn, and get back down here by eight-thirty—Sunday morning.

My best friend and big sister, Cindy, offered to drive me to the Arboretum, but I had to turn her offer down, because she and Ray live thirty minutes away from Ronnie’s, in south Austin, and that would make my return trip thirty minutes longer. Since time is going to be of the essence on Sunday, I need to get back here as early as possible, because I will be at the Barnes & Noble San Pedro, in San Antonio, with Kinky—to sign our calendars at 2:30. Tony is going to drive me there.

Well, Ronnie has just called me, and told me some really exciting news! “Nance, I just talked to Cindy! She and Ray are going to come over here Saturday night for dinner—so we can have an early celebration of her birthday!”

I was so thrilled that I was going to get to see Cindy and Ray, too! Her birthday is going to be this coming Tuesday, November 18th, and in honor of her—I plan to blog another story about her! She is one super sister!

Y’all, I am tuckered out now. This is going to be one fast paced weekend for me. I will try to blog on Sunday before going to San Antonio. Have a great weekend! Love, Cousin Nancy