The War of The Roses!

This morning Kinky called. “I am so disappointed in the Eternal Squirrel. It didn’t come on last night. It’s defective. I will never endorse the stupid...”

“Hey, Kink,” Tony picked up the phone. “Do you want us to come over and check out the squirrel? Okay. Do you want to talk to Nance?”

Tony handed me the phone. “Good morning Kink,” I said.

“Good morning, Nance.”

“Kinky, are your allergies bothering you? You sound all stuffed up.”

“He’s been crying all morning,” Tony said, loud enough for Kinky to hear. “Because his Eternal Squirrel hates him.”

Kinky and I both laughed. “Come on over, Nance,” Kinky said. “I just fixed some coffee and maybe Tony Expresso can fix my broken Eternal Squirrel.”

When Tony and I arrived at the Friedman Family Bone Orchard, Kinky was outside, tossing Mr. Magoo’s new stuffed, green octopus toy—for him to catch. “Morning, y’all. Tone, would you mind taking a look at broken squirrel, and see if you can find out why it doesn’t work?”

Tony went over to the squirrel and picked it up. “Kinky, there is nothing wrong with the Eternal Squirrel, except for your karma. It thinks you hate him,” I teased. “My Eternal Squirrel loves me and has never failed to glow—except when it died. They only last for about a year or so.”

Tony and Kinky laughed. “Kinky,” Tony said. “It’s working. It’s not broken. Here look.” Tony covered the solar cell with his hand, and the Eternal Squirrel lit up! “I think we need to move it, because it probably isn’t getting enough direct sunlight.

Kinky put the Eternal Squirrel on a rock around Fly’s grave, and then moved the laughing Buddha to the middle of the stump. “It had better work tonight or I’m buying a new one tomorrow.”

We visited for awhile, and then Tony and I came back to the trailer, so we could go to Kerrville for lunch and supplies.

While we ate lunch, I told Tony that I wanted to make Yoda’s grave site nicer—like Kinky’s. He agreed to help me.

When we arrived back at the rescue ranch, we unloaded the supplies at the feed barn, and then we drove up to the trailer and unloaded—one Camellia plant, one Gardenia plant and two pink Rose bushes and one bag of dirt! Then we got busy!

Tony planted the Camellia and Gardenia plants first—then we ran out of dirt. Tony loaded up the wheelbarrow with some dirt from his organic, heirloom garden and then his back went out! So, I suggested that we plant the two remaining Rose bushes in deep pots—and wait until his back got better or when Ben and John were here to help him. Tony liked my idea.

After Tony had finished planting, he said, “Are you going to get a Buddha and a wind chime to keep up with Kinky’s shrine?”

“Yeah,” I said. “I think I will. Then I will be ahead of Kinky by—one extra Rose bush, one thirty pound steel cast—flying pig, and one silver dog bone. If nothing else, it will offset Billy Joe Shaver’s painted feather.”





P.S. Tony and I went over to the Friedman Family Bone Orchard, at dusk, to find Kinky sitting outside with Goat glowing with happiness! The Eternal Squirrel #2 was glowing, too! Hopefully, this will be the end of the eternal saga. And tonight,The Hummingbird Man is the Pool Playing Champion of Echo Hill! He beat me and the Medina Bulldog!