Episode 31: Age Doesn't Matter!

 If you want to listen to this podcast rather than read it please click here on: The Cousin Nancy Show or click on The Cousin Nancy Show on the right side bar. 👉 )

Now I am going to tell you another story about the non-profit Utopia Animal Rescue Ranch that Tony & I and our dear friend Kinky Friedman co-founded in 1997. And we ran our rescue ranch until the three of us decided it was time to retire and shut its doors, in 2018.

This morning I had to clean our trailer because ABC’s affiliate, KSAT, out of San Antonio, was coming out to do a story about Kinky, his cigars, and to also see our rescue ranch. 

So I cleaned our trailer until it looked like Tony and I didn’t live here. Mission was accomplished by ten o’clock.

The cameraman interviewed Kinky early this morning for about an hour over, at the Lodge, and then Kinky and the television cameraman arrived over here about eleven-thirty. 

Tony, our dear friend John, and I were, in the kitchen, drinking coffee and trading funny stories when those two arrived. So Tony went outside to greet Kink and the cameraman.

A few minutes later Tony returned to the trailer and announced, “Kinky just told me that the cameraman is going to shoot him and the dogs first, and then he wants you to come outside to be interviewed and shot, too.”

I was mildly depressed by Tony’s news. Because the trailer had been cleaned up for nothing—and knowing full well that within twenty-four hours or less that it would be obvious to anyone who came inside—would instantly know that Tone and I live here. 

Anyway, twenty minutes later, the three of us went outside. Kinky quickly introduced John, Tony and me to the smiling cameraman. After shaking hands, the friendly cameraman put a wire and microphone on me, and then Kinky and I strolled past the dogs in their pens as the cameraman shot us.

When we reached Jedi’s pen with her two, yellow Lab-mixed pups I went inside their pen to visit with the dogs and then to be interviewed and shot some more.  

The cameraman asked me many questions, and I did pretty good until he asked me, “Do you get many calls from people wanting to bring you their dogs?”

“Yes, I do,” I said, as Kinky and John stood behind the cameraman, watching me with smiling faces. “I get about twenty calls a day from all over the country with people begging or trying to bribe me to take their dogs or cats. Unfortunately, pets have become disposable items to many people. And these people all have excuses why they want to dump their loving pets. It is very depressing.”

“Tell me,” he asked. “What is the most common excuse?”

“The number-one most common excuse that I hear, is from a young woman who is crying and begging me to please take her sweet, eight-year-old dog that she dearly loves, because her new boyfriend doesn’t like her dog—and he is making her get rid of it!”

“What do you tell them?”The cameraman asked.

Looking straight into the camera’s lens, I said, “Euthanize the boyfriend.”

Tony, Kinky, John and the cameraman all started to laugh! “That’s a good one, Nance,” Kinky remarked, as the others smiled and nodded their heads in agreement.

Feeling like I needed to explain myself a little further, I continued: “So I ask these young women,“Where are you going to be two years from now—with a creepy control freak like that? Will he be giving you permission to go outside or telling you when you can talk on the phone? Listen, if he truly loves you, he would never ask you to do something so horrible like that. Please, take my advice and keep your dog—because your dog loves you, and knows what real love is—and your stupid boyfriend doesn’t love you or even have a clue as to what love is all about.”

With that said, the interview lasted a few more minutes, and then I removed the wire and the microphone and handed it back to the cameraman. Then I returned to the trailer to return several phone calls.

This evening when the KSAT news ran the story, that television station had cut out my part about “euthanizing the boyfriend.” And that is the end of that story. Thank goodness.

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Okay. Here’s a Cousin Boomer Update for y’all:

The other day Cousin Boomer was over here and he told me that he didn't understand cloning and I told him, "That makes two of us.”

And Boomer also told me that he went to a sporting goods store last weekend to buy some camouflage pants, but he couldn’t find any.

******

Now it is My Thought For Today Time!

And this is it—I think that age is something that doesn’t matter—unless you are cheese.

*******

Okay now it is Make Me Laugh Time! Thank goodness.

Where do fish keep their money?—In the river bank.

What do you call two ducks and a cow? Quackers and milk.

Did you hear about the cat who ate a ball of yarn?—She had mittens.

What did the cucumber say to the pickle? You mean a great dill to me.

And lastly, what did one hat say to the other? You stay here. I'll go on ahead.

And this concludes this segment of Make Me Laugh Time. 

*******

Folks I do hope that my podcast has made you laugh at least once, but if it didn’t—who cares!

Thank y’all for listening. And please remember my favorite quote;

Life is short and so am I! 

Y’all take care and keep on laughing!

Oh. Wait a second. Here is one more joke to hopefully make you laugh.

My dear friend Fourth sent me this joke that Milton Berle at 80 years-old told:

“I get sex almost ever night of the week!!!

Almost on Monday

Almost on Tuesday

Almost on Wednesda, etc.”

Adios y’all!

Trailer Trash

Yesterday, after blogging, Tony and I went outside to load up “The Magnificent Seven.” We loaded up Rufus first, then Ginger Rogers, Pepperoni, Dobie Gillis, Greta Garbo, and Luke and Owen Wilson—in less than twenty minutes, and then we took off for Kerrville, to hook up with Kinky, and our good friends, Catherine and David Berry of Happy Dog Adoptions.

The twenty-two mile drive was peaceful and uneventful, because Pepperoni serenaded us the entire trip. When we arrived at The Acapulco Restaurant, we found Kinky, Catherine and David inside, waiting for us. After a round of hugs and handshakes, we went outside to introduce the dogs to the Berrys, and to transfer them from our van to their gigantic blue bus.

The hand over was easy and fun, but the goodbyes to those beautiful dogs was a little hard on me, but that’s usual—just ask Tony and Kinky. Before David and Catherine left, she told us that on their drive down to Kerrville, their bus’s power steering had gone out, and from Fredericksburg on, David had to help her turn the steeringwheel—fortunately, after making the turn in Fredericksburg—there was only one more to make and it was into The Acapulco Restaurant’s parking lot!

After hearing the bad news about their big, blue bus, we wished them a safe trip home and then on the count of three—we all drove away in different directions. Catherine and David with “The Magnificent” headed north, Kinky headed south and we headed to HEB—to get gas for the van, and to pick up a few groceries.

While Tony fueled our white van, I shopped in the grocery store for a few essentials. On my way out of the store, I ran into my dear friend, Sandy Wolfmueller! Unfortunately, Sandy had some bad news. Her father was in the Sid Peterson Hospital, and he had been in there for three days. Sandy told me that she and Jon were exhausted, and the doctors were very concerned about her father. Bless her heart, Sandy had just buried her mother back in August, and I knew what she was going through, so I said a few words to her, and then gave her a big hug in the parking lot.

When Tony and I arrived back at the rescue ranch—Kinky had called, and left a message for me to please call him as soon as possible—so, I did.

“Hi, Kinky,” I said. “We just got home.”

“Hi, Nance,” he said, “can you please come over here? I need to talk to you.”

“I’m on my way,” I said. “I’ll be over there in five minutes.” Kinky had me worried.

When I arrived at Kinky’s, all he wanted was for me to play a game of pool with him. He told me that I had really improved my pool skills earlier, and he wanted to give me a few more tips—and he did.
I played the game much better, but “The Hummingbird Man”—won again!

As soon as I was back at the trailer, the phone rang, and it was Catherine. She told me that on their way back to Buchanan Dam, the brakes locked up on the bus, and when they got home—the brakes were literally smoking! She told me that they had gotten home on a wing and a prayer. She then had some great news—Rufus and Ginger Rogers had already been adopted! And, the rest of the dogs were all doing great!

I knew that Rufus had a home already waiting for him up there, but Ginger Rogers, too?

“Nancy,” Catherine said. “We hadn’t even been home twenty minutes, when Audra arrived to adopt Rufus, but when she saw David playing with Ginger, she asked me if she could adopt her, too! She told me that she had always loved Chows, even though, Ginger was a mix, and I told her yes!”

“Catherine, that is fantastic news!” I said. “You have just made me so happy!”

“I know,” Catherine said. “Me, too. Will you call Kinky and tell him the good news?”

“No,” I replied. “I think you should. I want him to hear the good news from you, first. He’ll love hearing it!”

“Okay, I’ll call him right now. Bye”

“Bye.”

Ten minutes later, I phoned Kinky. And, he was estatic with Catherine’s great news, too!

This morning, “the secret deal” went down at 8:00 sharp, in Medina! All I can say right now is: It took us four hours to accomplish our mission, everyone at the rescue ranch is very happy, and Tony’s and my backs are killing us, right now. And, I really want to thank Charlie and Ellen Cooper, John Kemmerly, Aaron, and Blake Kesterson! We couldn’t have done it without y’all!

Now, I must go, to put a sack of frozen peas on Tony’s and my backs. And, the Cardinal, the wannabe woodpecker—is still pecking! Tomorrow, after we rest, Tony is going to cover up the bedroom window. Trailer Trash—Here We Come!

P.S. Last night, KSAT played the interview with Kinky and about our rescue ranch. They edited out the part where I said, "Euthanize the boyfriend."

Wired!

I wasn’t able to post a blog on Tuesday, because I had to spend my time yesterday more wisely—like cleaning the trailer, because this morning ABC’s affiliate, KSAT, out of San Antonio, came out to do a story about Kinky, Kinky Cigars, and to also see the rescue ranch. So, once again, I had to clean, until the trailer, which by the way is named “The Nellybelle,”—looked like Tony and I didn’t live here. Mission was accomplished early this morning—except for the flour—still stuck on the kitchen floor!

The crew interviewed Kinky for about an hour, over at the Lodge, and then Kinky and their cameraman arrived over here about 11:30 a.m. Tony, John and I were in the kitchen trading funny stories when the two arrived, and Tony went outside to see if all was okay.

A few minutes later, Tony returned to the trailer and announced, “Kinky just told me that the cameraman is going to shoot him and the dogs first, and then he wants you to come outside to be interviewed and shot.”

I was saddened by Tony’s news. The Nellybelle had been cleaned up—for nothing. And knowing full well, that by tomorrow morning—it would be obvious that we did live here—mildly depressed me.

Twenty minutes later, we were outside with Kinky introducing John,Tony, and me, to Robert Panlagua, KSAT’s friendly cameraman. After shaking hands, Robert put a wire and microphone on me, and then Kinky and I strolled past the dogs, in their pens, as the cameraman shot us.

When we reached Jedi’s pen with her two, yellow Lab mixes—we went inside to visit the dogs and to be interviewed. Kinky is fantastic in front of a camera, and to say the least—I’m not.

As Kinky played with the dogs—I was interviewed. The cameraman asked me many questions and I did pretty good until I was asked, “Do you get many calls from people wanting to bring you their dogs?”

“Yes, I do,” I said, as Kinky and John stood behind him, watching me with smiling faces. “I get about twenty calls a day from all over the country with people begging or trying to bribe me—to take their dogs or cats. Unfortunately, pets have become disposable items to many people. And, they all have excuses why they want to dump their pets.”

“Tell me,” Robert asked. “Which excuse is the most common?”

“The number one, most common excuse, I hear, is from a young woman who is crying, and begging me to take her dog, because her new boyfriend doesn’t like her dog, even though she loves her dog, and has had it for over eight years—is making her get rid of it!”

“What do you tell them?” Robert asked.

Looking straight into the camera lens, I said, “Euthanize the boyfriend.”

Kinky, John and the cameraman all started to laugh! “That’s a good one, Nance,” Kinky said, with John nodding in the background.

Feeling like I needed to explain myself, I continued, “I ask the young woman, where are you going to be two years from now—with a control freak like that? In two years, will he be giving you permission to go outside or telling you when you can talk on the phone? If he truly loves you, he would never ask you to do something like that. Please, take my advice and keep your dog—because your dog loves you, and knows what love is—and your boyfriend doesn’t have a clue.”

With that said, the interview lasted a few more minutes, and then I removed the wire and microphone, and handed it back to Robert, and then returned to The Nellybelle.