Friday, December 14, 2018

A Swift Kick!

My last post was on November 17th. I haven't been blogging much this year because I've been depressed almost all of 2018 and only recently have I've actually become aware of it.

Basically, all of my life I've been a happy person and have had a wonderful life full of love and friends. Sure there were ups and downs and hills/mountains to climb or fall off of, but I always bounced back or better said, "Gotten right back in the saddle."But that was then and this is now.

I hesitate to write this post tonight, because I do not want it to be a downer or depressing to anyone, because that is not my style. I love life and I know that I am one of the lucky ones to have so much to be grateful for. And trust me—I am grateful everyday and I spend each and everyday counting my many blessings and saying prayers and thanking God for everything.

Around three weeks ago is when I finally realized that I have been depressed about several things. And that made me unhappy and that was scary, because I am not usually like that. I discovered that I've been deeply depressed about having to leave behind my old trailer that I loved so very much, because it never let me down in 24 years and it was the best home that I ever lived in. But I do admit that I am very thankful to be living in The Cabin.

I've also been depressed about not being able to rescue animals anymore and it haunts me daily. I've been depressed about dear, old friendships ending and being pushed aside. Dear friends passing away and leaving a void that can never be filled. I've been depressed about our sweet Belle going to the Rainbow Bridge and knowing that she is waiting there for me.

I've been saddened about this upside/down world that we are living in and how our country's politics has torn our nation apart. Where it seems or is said more common than not— "If you don't agree with my politics—you're stupid and you can go to he**! And we are no longer friends." Etc. This is sickening to me.

A few weeks ago, after discovering that I've been depressed I tried reaching out to a few close friends and after I admitted to them that I realized that I was fighting depression they casually blew me off and then changed the subject. Telling me not to worry and then they started talking about themselves. So I gave up—sort of.

I knew that I needed a swift kick-in-the-behind and that I needed to quit feeling sorry for myself. So I came to the conclusion that if I was going to quit being depressed I would have to be the one to do the kicking.

And kicking myself was not an easy task for someone my age. In fact, I almost threw my back out several weeks ago trying to kick the habit. But the good news is—I turned it around and laughed at myself for having this major poor-me-pity-party. And realizing that I was starting to get back on track and that made me feel happy and put a smile on my face.

Anyway, during the past month I had many conversations with several friends about feeling down, depressed, etc. and I soon discovered that they too had had a rough year and they were relieved to know they were not the only ones feeling "The blahs." And we all agreed that for the most part 2018 sucked and we were all looking forward to the new year.

Also, many of these friends admitted to me that for some reason they were "disconnecting." Meaning they no longer wanted to be so involved with their electronic devices such as computers, smart phones, the Internet, social media, etc. And that made me feel a whole lot better because I realized that I had unconsciously been doing the exact same thing they were doing.

With the exception of working outside on my soon-to-be-writing cabin/guest house, with Tony or spending quality time with friends and family or writing on my third novella—I no longer had the desire to waste any more of my time being on the Internet.

I mean I did feel guilty for not blogging and every evening when I would normally sit down and write something I found myself blowing it off, because I just wasn't feeling "up," because there just wasn't a whole lot of funny things going on in my life to write about. Poor me.

Part II
It's My (Pity) Party And I'll Cry If I Want to!
or
How I Stopped My Self-Imposed Pity-Party!

1. I re-read one of my favorite books Canyon of Remembering by Lesley Poling-Kempes.

2. I watched or re-watched some of my favorite movies or uplifting documentaries or television shows:
Movies
It's A Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World!
It's A Wonderful Life
Chef

Documentaries



Evan Carmichael's Believe Documentaries: 


Television Series 

Cheers
Frasier
Heartland

Part III
The New Improved Happy Me!

Yes, I backed off the Internet and began disconnecting from the depressing news, etc. and I have spent many hours, as you can well see, being happy, laughing, learning new things and getting inspired. And I highly recommend this regimen for anyone feeling the blues, because it has worked miracles for me. 

As an example, after watching the awesome Minimalism documentary, I had Tony watch it with me and we have jumped on that bandwagon. We have now de-cluttered our cramped closet and have dropped off, 4 giant garbage sacks, at Good Will. And we've made several trips to the Kerrville dump to drop off useless, unneeded stuff, etc. And we plan to keep on doing it.

My sense of humor has finally returned, so I am once again inspired and writing the funniest novella that I have ever written and I am having a blast with it, even though it seems to be turning itself into a book instead of a novella. 

My New Year's resolution for 2019 is to do everything better, laugh more and to live my life to the fullest. And that includes blogging at least 3-4 times a week. (And this lengthy post proves it.) So life is once again good and thanks for being patient with my down-time. I have so much to be grateful for.

Y'all have a great evening and keep on laughing!

5 comments:

Mari of the NoMads said...

What an AWESOME post! I am so inspired by it!

Still gotta say "Com'on, 2019"!

Merry Christmas, Nancy and Tony!

cousin nancy said...

Thank you, Mari. Merry Christmas and may we all have a Happy New Year filled with PEACE and more LOVE!

Anonymous said...

your blog post was incredibly illuminating & as you intended up-lifting. i thank you for your realism, insights,& perfection of being human. i don't know how i missed baby belle's passing. i knew y'alls new life had to be hard after losing the purpose of the rescue ranch, the gratitude from your rescued pups, the paths you walked daily & the daily routines. such hurdles from hell for you & tony. i admire you both greatly. i am grateful for the work you have done for all.

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cousin nancy said...

Dear Anonymous-es,

Thank y'all for your comments and your kind words. They are making my day great. But please remember—it's early. : )