I Am Not in England! And Do Not Send Money! It's A Spam!

Tony and I just walked in the front door and our answering machine was full with messages from worried friends telling me they just received a  note supposedly from me asking for $1,500.00! My address book has been hacked! I am calling the F.B.I right now, but first I am going to take three baby aspirin!

I Was Powerless!

Today has been truly great. This morning around eight-thirty, right when I was fixin' to walk with Leslie I heard a loud clap of thunder outside so I unplugged everything inside the trailer and then shutdown our computers.  Since I was powerless and could not exercise or work on the computer until the thunderstorm passed I turned on our AC/DC Bose and cranked up my music to calm me from the storm.

Around nine-thirty Lisa, Matt and Meghann showed up with two new volunteers, but since it was still storming outside we invited them inside the trailer for a really fun visit. As we sipped our coffees we huddled around T.'s computer sitting on the breakfast-bar and watched a slideshow of his latest pictures while my iPod played one great song after another.

When Michael McDonald started singing his version of "I Heard It Through The Grapevine" I cranked up the volume on the Bose. Next came a couple of Beatles songs and everyone seemed to be enjoying the music except Tony because he doesn't like loud music or anything that isn't old Country. When a Lynrd Skynrd song started playing Lisa asked me to crank up the volume because she loves them, too.

Thirty minutes later the storm passed and the sun was shining so everyone went outside to help Tony with his chores and to walk dogs except Lisa. After everyone had left the trailer she told me that I was going to love Mark's present and then she teased me by dropping a few clues about his gift, which of course, didn't seem to help me guess what was coming from Mississippi, so she left the trailer laughing.

While I was plugging everything back into the wall sockets I decided to walk six miles with Leslie and then I changed my mind. I decided today was the day that I had to finish my book and push the buttom to get the printing process started.

Around noon T. came inside and told me not to worry about fixin' him lunch because he wanted me to finish my book. Around one o'clock Tone came out of his office and fixed himself a big bowl of Blue Bell's Butter Pecan as I typed away on my laptop.

An hour or so later I half-hollered down the hall, "Tony! I need your help!" When he came into the Big Room I said, "I have it done, but I need to print it out one more time to make sure I have the Table of Contents pages correct. Could you please punch holes in the pages so I can load them into my notebook while I am back in my office watching the printer?" I handed T. the hole puncher and he set up shop on the breakfast bar.

The next forty minutes was a scream. After every five pages that were printed I would grab them and take them to Tony and then return to my office to gather another five pages to give to him. We were an assembly line in action until I had a paper jam on page 147! Three minutes later I was back into printing production and running from room to room as Tony carefully punched three holes at a time on five pieces of paper and then putting them in order into my pink notebook.

After we were done with the printing and punching process, Tony went back into his office to do some plowing on his multiple farms while I carefully double checked the pages for the Table of Contents. When I was done with that, I made a few more corrections to my book and thought I was ready to go online to 48hrBooks.com to get my book published, but there was a small setback.

When I put the CD with cover art into my computer that Trisha at Copies Plus had burned for me my Mac told me that the disc was unreadable. I tried again, but I got the same message so I called Copies Plus to ask them to e-mail me the artwork.

When I told Marcie, who works for Lisa and Rodney, about the problem it was quickly fixed in two minutes. The reason for the problem was that I had forgotten to tell them that I use a Mac and the CD had been formatted for a PC.

Fifteen minutes later, after I filled out 48hrBooks.com's form and uploaded the files—I pushed the button—Submit!  I am so thrilled that I did this today and I cannot wait to see the printed proof that should be arriving on Wednesday or Thursday of next week!

To celebrate that I had finally pushed the button on my book, and because we hadn't eaten lunch together, we decided to go to Randy and Lisa's Save Inn restaurant. On our way to Kerrville we realized that the Save Inn was closed so we ate some Mexican food instead and then we came home.

This evening Kinky called me. After I told him about pushing the button on my book he told me that Jon and Sandy Wolfmueller told him that my book looked great and so did he! Yeah!

I'm fixin' to go to bed because I have to get up early to do "The Harley Show" at 7:45 tomorrow morning.

Y'all have a great evening!

Ride For Harley-Ray April 24th!

I got up early this morning and walked six miles with Leslie Sansone. Then I spent the entire morning catching up with my paperwork and then returning e-mails and phone calls while Lisa, Meghann, Matt and Paul were outside helping Tony. Thank y'all so much!

I received one funny e-mail from Ellen and I want to share it with you.
"A great blog! That may be my 2 minutes of fame. Wish you could have been there. The poor little guy
is scared of everything. If he was a "fear biter," we would be doomed. Culvert came out to extend "the glad paw of fellowship and Sandy hid behind my legs while Cully sniffed his back leg. He has finally quit trembling, just still pants a lot. He has sniffed Twinky's bum, but she doesn't know what to make of a dog that won't take charge and make decisions. They mill around together, but no play behavior yet. I think it will take 2 or 3 more days for him to relax enough for that. His aunt June came over for dinner and to help me help him settle in. She covered his head with kisses and we both petted and scratched and told him what a good, brave boy he is. We went in the house to get a glass of wine and when June went back out on the porch, I heard, "OMG, he's gone!" By the time I got to the door, we saw that he had stuffed himself into a soft sided kennel I had put on the porch for the cats. It's his safe place and that's where he spent the night. The other 2 cats have not been interested in making his acquaintance. This morning I had to hook up the leash to coax him out of his safe place and had a love fest while I drank my coffee....so far, so good.
Later
Ellen"

I think Sandy is the luckiest dog to have someone as kind, gentle and patient as Ellen and so does Kinky and Tone. Thank you, Ellen! Here are three pictures of Sandy with Twinky and in his safe place:

This morning I had a short visit with Lisa. She told me that something is coming my way from Mark in Mississippi  and that I am going to be really surprised. I tried to get her to tell me what it was but she refused to tell me and just laughed about it. Hmmmmmmmmm.......

Last week I received an e-mail from Craig Slovak our new friend and the General Manager at Republic Harley Davidson in Stafford, Texas. He wanted to invite me to their Grand Opening of their Kinky Friedman Cigar store that Kinky will be at on April 8th from 7:30 pm - 9:30 pm but as y'all know I won't be attending because of my fear of big cities.

Craig told me that Republic Harley-Davidson is extremely excited about their April 24th "Ride for Harley" motorcycle ride benefiting our rescue ranch.  They have already partnered with Caliente Harley-Davidson in San Antonio as another sponsor where they will stop and pick up additional riders.  He told me that all registration fees will be donated directly to Utopia. 

In addition, Republic Harley-Davidson has donated a Thunder MountainCustom motorcycle  customized as The Kinky Friedman Cigar Cycle!  The beautiful custom painted cycle proudly displays Kinky’s cigar logo, website, and our logo as well.  The cycle is going to be displayed at Republic, Caliente in San Antonio, at the Silver Dollar Bar, and multiples of other events and fundraisers throughout the year.  A special event will be held on a Saturday in October at Republic where the cycle will be raffled to the winning ticket holder.  Of course, the perfect ending is having Kinky be the one to draw the winning ticket at Republic!   

Craig said that this ride is a very special part of his life as it is dedicated to his beloved best friend, Harley-Ray.

Our rescue ranch is so lucky to have met up with these nice people and we are really looking forward to the upcoming events. We love Craig and all of the people at Republic Harley-Davidson in Stafford, Texas! They're using their Hogs to help our dogs and we love it! Thank you so much!

I'm going into Outer Space with Tone for Happy Hour. Good luck, Ellen! We've got our fingers crossed for Sandy!

Y'all have a great evening!

Sheet Happens!

Today has been really great even though I had a wacky weekend filled with one surprise after another. For some reason we had visitors all day long on Sunday even though that is our day off and I was exhausted by the end of the day so I went to bed early last night.

This afternoon after lunch Tone and I took off for Copies Plus in Kerrville so I could pay Trisha for her  beautiful work on the cover of my book and to pick up the red sock. When we arrived at Copies Plus I was pleasantly surprised when Trisha gave me a print out of the book cover and a folded sheet of the cover so I could see how it would actually wrap around on the book. I loved how she had designed the spine, and her added tweaks—made my book cover really pop! Thank you, Trisha—You Rock!

After we left Copies Plus we decided to go to Wolfmueller's Books so I could show the finished cover to Sandy and Jon because I was so proud of it. Unfortunately, Sandy wasn't there but Jon was so we visited with him. When I showed the book cover to Jon he told me that he liked it and thought it looked really good. Then he says, "Are you going to blog about it tonight because you haven't written a blog since Saturday night..." I started laughing.

"Yes, Jon.  I only missed last night because we had a wacky weekend..." Then Sandy called him on the phone and needed for him to look up some information so we left and came back to the rescue ranch.

Early this evening Ellen Jackson, our friend and great dog-walking volunteer, came out to pick up Sandy, our big, shy but sweet dog, to see if he wanted to go home with her and become a Jackson and live with her and her cats.

Sandy was happy to see Ellen, but things went a little south when Tony lifted him up and put him into the back seat of her car because Sandy immediately pooped a little on the sheet covered back seat. We all laughed about it as Sandy was removed from the car so Ellen could replace the soiled sheet with a new one. "I think I will take Sandy for a little walk before we try loading him up again," Ellen joked. Then she and Sandy took off on their walk. Ten minutes later T. reloaded Sandy into the back seat and they took off into the sunset. We all have our fingers crossed that Sandy will work out and be okay with her cats. Here is a picture of Tony, Ellen and Sandy.

After Sandy and Ellen left I went over to the Lodge to visit with Kinky. "Sandy has left the building, Kinky!"

"That is great news!" Kinky said with enthusiasm. "I hope it works out for Sandy. He's a good dog. Did you remember to thank Ellen for me and tell her what I said about her being a saint for giving Sandy a chance?"

"Yes, I did, but sheet happens..." After I told Kink about Sandy's car accident he laughed.

When I came home Tony had some great news. "Ellen just called. She said that everything is working out so far with Sandy. She told me that Sandy was scared of the cats when he met them and he hid behind her legs. Isn't that great news, Nance?"

P.S. Kinky thought my book cover was beautiful!

Y'all have a great evening!"

Ousie's Table In Houston!

Today I had a nice surprise. This morning around eleven-thirty a car pulled up to the trailer so I went outside to see who was here—it was my good friend Patty from Florida! I walked outside our fenced in yard and gave her a big hug. "Where's Peggy the other half of P&P?" I asked as we went into Outer Space for a visit.

Patty told me that Peggy had a knee replacement a few days ago and she was recuperating from the surgery. During our fun reunion Patty told us all about her trip to Vietnam a few months ago. "Patty, you are one amazing woman," I said. "You have been all around the world and I admire you because I am scared of flying and going into big cities..."

"That reminds me, Nancy, I read in your blog about Ousie's Table wanting to do a booksigning for you. You have got to do that booksigning at Ousie's Table in Houston. That is my favorite restaurant in Houston and I go there every time I'm in Houston," Patty said. "Their food is the best. It is one of Houston's finest and most popular restaurants. It would be a blast."

"I really want to do it because I love the owners, Harry and Ousie Jones. They are the nicest people and real down-to-earth. They come see us about once a year when they are up in the Hill Country and I always look forward to their visit. I am just not sure I can go to Houston because big city traffic terrifies me and it really stresses me out even when I'm not driving."

"Maybe Ben could drive you there or someone else?"

"Ben might be able to do it but he is so busy with Miles of Chocolate which by the way is now in the H.E.B. Kerrville store as of last week. I might be able to find someone, but even if someone is driving me I will still stress out. I'm really a scaredy-cat when it comes to big cities."

"Take drugs!" Patty said with excitement. "Get a doctor to write you a two day prescription for Zanex."

"I don't know," I said. "We don't have a doctor and that could be pretty expensive. And what if it makes me goofy causing me to make a fool out of myself at the event. I can see it right now: "Hello, everyone and thank you for coming to my booksigning at Ousie's Table. I'm real stoned right now and can barely read my own writing but I will try to..."" Patty and Tone started laughing.

"Ask one of your vets to give you a couple of pills," Patty suggested. "All I know is that you must do Ousie's Table and I know that you would sell a lot of books."

"Okay I will, Patty," I said. "I will put it on my Bucket List even though it might kill me or I get busted for doing drugs when I hate drugs. Then we went inside the trailer so I could show Patty the cover that I designed for my book. "Oh My God! I love it, Nancy. It is beautiful and I love that picture of you on the pony. I can't wait to buy a copy of your book."

"I can't wait either—cha-ching," I said. "I'm real proud of the cover and I am glad that you like it." Then we went back outside and had a great visit with non-stop laughter. A little before two o'clock Patty had to leave so she could go see her Dad and Peggy and I hated to see her leave because she is so funny and makes me laugh until my back hurts with her hilarious tales about her Florida friends.

Late this afternoon T. and I went to Kerrville to get groceries and I found Miles of Chocolate by the Deli section! I want to do a shout out to two great ladies I admire. Get well soon, Peggy! P&P Rock Big Time!

Y'all have a great evening!

A Big Backpack Should Have Been A Fanny Pack!

Today has been really fun even though I overslept this morning and didn't wake up until eight-thirty (which would have been seven-thirty if we hadn't had the stupid time change). This morning while I was walking six miles with Leslie Sansone, Lisa, Matt and Meghann were outside helping Ben and Tony dip our dogs for fleas and ticks.

After walking I cleaned up and dressed in my Easter Egg outfit: pink overalls with an off-white turtleneck and my pretty pink Crocs and then I went outside to lend a hand. When I arrived at the barn everything looked under control and organized and running like clockwork.

Tony and Ben were the official self appointed "Dog Dippers" and Team L&M were fetching and returning the dogs to their pens. After saying hello to everyone I grabbed a leash and took off to Blackie's and Alfie's pen so they could be dipped. An hour later all of our dogs had been dipped, but Tony's and Ben's backs were hurting after lifting all of our dogs into and out of the trough.

Then I had a really fun visit with everyone. We teased Lisa about being covered in mud and Matt for accidentally letting Randy Travis escape from his pen. Then Lisa told Ben about loving his chocolate and she asked him when he was going to bring some more out. "I'll bring some the next time that I come out, but you can now buy it at the H.E.B in Kerrville." I was shocked when Ben said that.

"Miles of Chocolate is now in Kerrville!" I said. "That is fantastic news, Ben! Where is it in the store?"

"You can get it at their Deli section."

"I'm going straight to H.E.B. to buy some after we leave here," Lisa said. Fifteen minutes later Team L&M said goodbye to Team BNT and they took off for the H.E.B. in Kerrville. Then we talked about them needing to get cleaned up and what I was cooking for lunch.

"I can fix some spaghetti and meatballs," I said. "While you and Tony go take showers and get cleaned up." Ben jumped into his truck and headed for the Lodge and I jumped into Kermit with Tony and we headed for the trailer.

While Tone was taking a shower I put the H.E.B. fully cooked meatballs into the oven to warm and then I filled a pan with water and put in the spaghetti to cook. Then I discovered that I was out of Ragu so I threw out the uncooked spaghetti and went to Plan B.—beans and cornbread with meatballs.

Tony and Ben were a little surprised when I told them about the menu change and believe it or not our lunch was really tasty and the guys cleaned their plates before I cleaned their plates.

After lunch June, Ellen, Eileen and Ellen's visiting friends Kent and Joan from Columbus, Mississippi came out to walk our dogs so we went outside to greet them and to thank them for coming out. I ended up going for a dog walk with them and I had as much fun as our dogs did.

June, Eileen and Ellen had me laughing from the git-go because they are so funny and I was fascinated listening to Kent and Joan telling me about how they had met. "Joan is from South Africa. We met in the Red Sea. She and I were both working in Saudi Arabia and we loved scuba diving... " Kent said. Then I took off and joined June and Joan to visit with them.

Joan told me about what it is like to be a woman living in Saudi Arabia and how the women are treated and I could not believe it, but I did. "It makes me glad to be living in the U.S.A.," June said. After all of the dogs were returned to their pens we had a fun visit by the barn.

"I just found out that you can buy Ben's chocolate at the H.E.B in Kerrville! Ben just told me earlier this morning." June, Eileen and Ellen were delighted with my news and then we told Joan and Kent about Miles of Chocolate being voted Austin's Favorite Chocolate for the past three years. Then the subject changed to arrowheads.

"There are arrowheads laying around everywhere out here—thanks to Ben." I said as Ben and Tony laughed. "Several years ago Ben played a joke on Tone. Ben got ahold of a lot of fake arrowheads and he scattered them all over the ranch for Tony to find..."

"I drove all around the ranch and just flung them out the window," Ben said as we all laughed. Then I asked Joan about the snakes and the spiders in South Africa because of my spider bite.

 Joan told us about two deadly snakes in South Africa where her family still lives and then she said the funniest thing. "South Africa is beautiful and the Texas Hill Country reminds me of it. People in South Africa can rent caves with nearby water to get back to nature and relax. One time I rented a cave and one day I decided to go backpacking naked into the forest and..." Her words pricked my ears so I interrupted her.

"You went backpacking—naked?" Everyone started laughing. Joan blushed and nodded her head yes.

"Yes, Nancy," Joan said, "but I had a big backpack, but I am embarrassed to say that my butt got awfully sunburned..." Everyone was laughing and making wisecracks. "It was very secluded and no people were there." Then the subject changed but I couldn't quit thinking about going backpacking—naked because I can't even go barefoot inside the trailer or anywhere else.

Then Ellen and Eileen told us a hilarious story about when they were kids growing up in Mississippi and unknowingly being a cover for an old man who was making moonshine when he took them horseback riding into the woods. "He would always tell us to stop about halfway into our ride and tell us to ride on and he would meet up with us on the trail," Eileen said. "We'd go on and then thirty minutes later he would appear out of nowhere and finish the ride with us."

"We never knew," Ellen laughingly said. "We didn't find out until years later that he was making moonshine."

"Y'all should call yourselves "The Moonshine Girls," I said. We visited for about twenty more minutes and then they had to leave. After they left I returned to the trailer and checked my e-mail and I am thrilled that I did.

Trisha at Copies Plus had sent me a proof of her conversion of the  cover that I had designed for the book and it looked fantastic! And the tweaks that she suggested were perfect. She is so talented. Thank you, Trisha! I love it! Here is a picture of Kent, Eileen and Ellen with Princess and Marlin.

This is a picture of Joan and June with Tom Landry and Buffalo Girl

P.S. This evening Ben told me about a metal sculpture that he has started working on and he needs used saw blades. If any of y'all have any old round saw blades and you want to help Ben, please send them to me at the rescue ranch.

Y'all have a great evening!

Big Foot!

Today has been a quiet day. This morning I only walked four miles because my left foot was still swollen and I had too much first-of-the- month paperwork to take care of. Before I started working Ben, Meghann, Matt and Tony came inside the trailer and I had a really fun visit with them.

After they went outside to go to work I checked my blog for comments. After reading Anon's comment I took their advice and soaked my spider bit foot with white vinegar and I was amazed with the results. Within thirty minutes the swelling had gone down nearly fifty percent. Then I took a Benadryl and started taking care of business. By four o'clock I was caught up with the paperwork and glad to be done with it.

I just showed Tony my spider bit foot because it is still really swollen and he called me "Big Foot." Fortunately, there is no pain and the redness is starting to finally disappear. Once again I plan to spray Off on the bed sheets and myself before going to bed so the spider will leave me alone.

Y'all have a great evening!