Captain Kangaroo!

Hi everyone! Today my blog is 1 year old! It has been one year since our dog, Abbie, our rescued wannabe black Lab, flung all purpose flour—all over my kitchen and the 'big room"—in the wee hours of the morning! I want to thank all of y'all for following my blog and making comments that make me laugh out loud! I love y'all! And, I am pleased to report that all of the flour is finally gone from the floor. No snow drifts here—just dust and cobwebs!

Today, because of Mercury being in retrograde, I have been really busy, paying bills and filling out quarterly reports, etc. I promise to blog tomorrow evening, and catch all of y'all up on the rescue ranch. Have a great evening!

P.S. Kinky called me this morning, to tell me that he has renamed his truck! Our connection was poor, as was my hearing, and I didn't hear him tell me his new name for his hunter green pickup. Not telling him that I didn't hear the new name, I said, "Kinky the name of your new truck should be—Mr. Green Jeans!

Kinky laughed out loud! "I love it, Nance! It's the perfect name—Mr. Green Jeans!" Kinky laughed some more.

"I know Kinky," I said. "Remember, I'm good at naming things. In fact, if you will remember, I named the Cadillac—The Navigator."

"No you didn't!" Kinky argued. "I named it The Navigator."

"Sorry, Kinky you're wrong, again," I said. "I am sorry. You asked me what to name it, in front of Tone, while we were standing out in front of the Lodge, and I said, I think you should call it the Navigator, in honor of Tom, since it had been his car. Tony will back me up on this, too."

"Okay," Kinky said. "You're right. I remember now. You did name it—The Navigator—not me. Well, it's official now, Nance, my truck's new name is going to be Mr. Green Jeans! It's perfect and funny!"

"Good," I said. "Captain Kangaroo would be proud. Did I ever tell you about that man who called me a few years back, from New York City, that had worked for Captain Kangaroo, and the Ft. Worth Zoo, the same time that I did, who wanted us to take in twenty elephants?"

"No Nance, you have got to be kidding me? Twenty elephants?"

"Yes, twenty or thirty of them, that needed rescuing. He told me that he was now a clown, since Captain Kangaroo had passed, and he was working for a circus, and learning how to walk the tight rope or high wire, something like that..."

Happy Birthday Nita!

I want to start out my blog, by wishing my favorite sister-in-law, Nita, Ronnie’s wife, a Happy Birthday! I called her earlier this evening, and sang her the Happy Birthday song—off key— and it made her laugh! “So, Nit (Neat),” I asked. “How does fifty-seven feel?”

“Not too good,” Nita replied, followed by a laugh. “I can’t believe that I am three years away from being sixty!”

“I know, me too! Remember when we had that birthday party for us, and I had made up those t-shirts that read, ‘28 How Sad!,’ and we wore them at the party at y’all’s house?”

Nita laughed. “Yes, Nance, I do. We thought we were old back then!” We laughed, again.

“Boy, were we ever wrong! That was twenty-eight years ago, Nita!” I said. “Can you believe it? I’ve doubled in age and size, and you’ve only doubled in age—now that’s truly depressing to me! Did you know that Mercury is in retrograde, too?”

“Figures,” Nita said. “What does that mean?”

“Not good. What are you doing for your birthday?” I asked.

“We did it Sunday, Nance. Callie bought me two tickets to the Dallas Cowboy’s game. Ronnie and I drove up to Dallas yesterday and went to the game!”

“Wow! That’s great! Did we win or lose?”

“We lost and it’s your fault, too—because you didn’t watch the game! Ronnie, Nancy didn’t watch the game!” Nita teased. We then started laughing, again.

“Cheer up, Nita,” I said. “Just think, in a couple of weeks, it will be my turn, to turn fifty-seven! I think we should have a party for us! I will make us some new t-shirts, that will say “I’m only 8 in Dog Years! Bite Me!”

Nita burst out laughing and so did I. Happy Birthday Nita! I love you! You’re the best!

Earlier today, Tony and I had to go to Kerrville. We decided to eat lunch at ‘Lightways,’ a health food restaurant that our friends, Pat G. and Pam M., had told us about and recommended. It is a vegetarian deli and juice bar on Water Street—next door to Franciscos on the corner.

Tony and I ordered their Special—organic salad, organic vegetable soup and organic zucchini quiche—it was delicious! Sylvia, the owner came over to our table, while we were waiting to be served, to show us a tray full of beautiful, fresh vegetables from their garden. She told us that she and her family have an organic garden and we would be eating their homegrown organic vegetables.

Please go there and check them out at: www.lightway.info/lightways.html

After lunch Tony and I went to see Sandy and Mary Jo at Wolfmueller’s Books. As always, there was much laughing. Then we ran a few errands and returned home.

When we got back to the rescue ranch, I had thirty-three new phone calls to return—four were from Kinky!

“Nance,” Kinky said. “I’ve got some great news to tell you about the calendar...”

To be continued...

My Bucket List!

This morning I received an e-mail from my good friend, Kristine Banks, from Illinois, who helps us adopt out our dogs. Kristine asked me to fill this questionnaire out, and e it back to her and send it to all of my friends. Here’s my list.

The Bucket List Instructions:
Hit forward and place an X by all the things you've done and remove the X from all the ones you have not. Send it to all your friends including me. This is for your entire life!

(X) Gone on a blind date - yes, back in high school and never again
(X) Skipped school - several times, senior year
(X) Watched someone die - my husband, back in '95
( ) Been to Canada - I wish! I would love to meet Fay and her family, and give Kris Kristofferson aka Prince—a hug
(X) Been to Mexico - a few times
(X) Been to Florida - flew to Miami to take a Carnival Cruise to the Bahamas
(X) Been on a plane - too many times
(X) Been lost - at least once a month - it runs in my family - we laugh about getting lost all of the time
(X) Been on the opposite side of the country - Minnesota, California and Maine
( ) Gone to Washington, DC - no thank you
(X) Cried yourself to sleep - and looked like you know what in the morning!
(X ) Played cops and robbers - when I was eight years old. I was the get-a-way car—ouch!
( ) Recently colored with crayons - how did you know?
( ) Sang Karaoke - no way
( ) Sang in front of a large audience (200 or more)
(X) Spoke in front of a large audience (200 or more) yes, with Kinky at the 2006 Texas Book Festival
(X) Paid for a meal with coins only - when tacos were a quarter
(X) Done something you told yourself you wouldn't - yes, many times
(X) Made prank phone calls - yes, as kids, Ronnie and I called our Aunt Mooie, Uncle Ham's mother, and we got caught and were grounded. Does anyone else have family named after food or is it just mine?
(X) Laughed until some kind of beverage came out your nose - yes, Ovaltine chocolate milk, and little pieces of chocolate came out when I sneezed!
(X) Caught a snowflake on your tongue - when I lived in Crested Butte, Colorado, in the early '70's
(X) Danced in the rain - with Tony
(X) Written a letter to Santa Claus - still do, but I send him e-mails nowadays, it saves me money
(X) Been kissed under the mistletoe - I'm one of those people that don't kiss and tell, sorry
(X) Watched the sunrise with someone you care about - inside the Space Ship with Tony
(X) Blown bubbles in your milk - still do, but in soy milk- it's healthier
(X) Gone ice-skating - in Ft. Worth when I was a kid, but was not good at it and am now too old to try again
(X) Wished upon a falling star - whenever I see one
( ) Swam with Dolphins or Stingrays- would love to swim with Dolphins, but not Stingrays
( ) Drove as fast as your car would go - never
(X) Laughed until you pee'd your pants..or sneezed, passed gas, puked, or fell down

About you:
1. Any nickname? Yes, Doodle Bug and Cousin Nancy
2. Mother's name? Katie
3. Favorite drink? Water and a box of fine wine
4. Tattoo? None
5. Body piercing? Nope
6. How much do you love your job? This ——————————much!
7. Birthplace? Fort Worth, Texas
8. Favorite vacation spot? Port Aransas and Ruidoso, New Mexico
9. Ever been to Africa? Nope, too far and I have quit flying
10. Ever eaten just cookies for dinner? No, but once I ate Cheetos
11. Ever been on TV? Yes, several times as a kid, and because of Kinky
12. Ever steal any traffic signs? No, but when I was in the 6th grade, my new boyfriend, Rick Morrison gave me one for my Christmas present. A week later, I broke up with him. It was a STOP sign!
13. Ever been in a car accident? Yes, when I backed into Copper’s Miata—'Ruby Tuesday'—last December
14. Drive a 2-door or 4-door vehicle? yes, both
15. Favorite hobby? Writing while listening to my iPod, decorating and renovating space ships
16. Favorite pie? My Aunt Pie, who was married to my mother’s brother -John Howard Griffin, author of 'Black Like Me' And, my mother's twin sister, Jackie, was married to Uncle Ham—he was my favorite ham.
17. Favorite number? 8
18. Favorite movie? Starsky & Hutch, Trains, Planes & Automobiles, Something’s Gotta Give, Super-Size Me!
19. Favorite holiday? Thanksgiving
20. Favorite dessert? Miles of Chocolate
21. Favorite food? Fruits and vegetables
22. Favorite day of the week? Wednesday
23. Favorite brand of body wash? Dr. Broner’s
24. Favorite toothpaste? Crest
25. Favorite smell? Bread baking in the oven
26. How do you relax? I write, listen to music, work on my Space Ship, go for walks, being alone with Tony and our pets in Outer Space, taking naps with my dogs and cat, and being outside with our dogs.
27. How do you see yourself in 10 years? 66? I hope—if I can still see.
28. Furthest place you will send this message? Around the world, since I am blogging it
29. Who will respond the fastest? Kristine Banks

I hope that all of y’all will fill out your Bucket List! It was fun! Thank you, Kristine!

Merc Happens!

Well, I can sure tell that Mercury is in retrograde—which is not good for me—it really affects me. Two days ago, Ben sent me an e-mail, to let me know or should I say warn me, about Mercury being in retrograde until October 20th! That news upset me, because it means my birthday will be under the influence of Mercury in retrograde. Life is not fair.

This morning, around 5:30, I was rudely awakened by Mama and Abbie. They were in the backyard, barking up a storm, which they never do. I climbed out of bed to see what was the matter. I went to the backdoor, flipped on the porch light, and then went outside. Twenty feet away, there stood, right next to our fence— a three hundred pound, black and white—wild hog! I quickly got the girls to come inside, and then I locked the backdoor.

By sunup, the hog had wandered off, so I let Abbie and Mama go back outside, and I fed them on the back porch. I then came back inside and fed the dogs and Lucky. While they were eating, I grabbed the aspirin bottle, opened it, took out a pill and then popped it into my mouth—realizing immediately, that I had forgotten to get a glass of water first—to help wash it down. This has been a habit of mine for over twenty years, and I have never forgotten to do this— water first, aspirin second.

As the aspirin was dissolving in my mouth, I quickly pulled a glass out from the cabinet, and went to fill it at our Ozarka Water Cooler! It was dry—completely out of water! So, I skipped over to the refrigerator, and pulled out a carton of milk, I thought—poured it into my glass and quickly chugged it down! Then I felt like throwing up!

It wasn’t organic milk—it was organic buttermilk —that had gone bad! I returned to the fridge, found the pomegranate juice, poured some into another glass, and then I gulped it down, to help get that nasty taste out of my mouth.

Note: We do not get our water from a well, it comes directly from the clear running creek, below us. I have drank it, and our ice maker uses it, and we have never, knock-on-wood, gotten sick from it. In fact, many people who live in the Texas Hill Country, get their water from creeks and drink it, but I prefer not to. Tony says I’m a sissy.

Once I had that awful taste out of my mouth, I looked down, to see that the dog’s water bowl was empty! I felt horrible. I told my best friends, they would have water as soon as Tony got home and then I apologized to them.

Eleven minutes later, Tony and Aaron drove up. As soon as Tony got out of Buttermilk, I told him the dogs and me were out of water, and we were all real thirsty! “Completely out?” Tony asked.

“Yes.”

“I’ll go check the pump house,” Aaron volunteered, as he jumped into Kermit.

“No Aaron, we have water in the house,” I said. “We just need a bottle of Ozarka.”

Tony looked over at Aaron and they burst out laughing! “We’ll go get a bottle and bring it up to the house,” Tony said, before driving off. I went back inside the trailer.

A couple of minutes later, Tony and Aaron came inside the trailer and replaced the empty water bottle with a full one. “Why did y’all laugh at me earlier?” I asked. They started laughing, again. “What was so funny? We were out of water and we were thirsty.”

“Nance, you were out of water and you weren’t,” Tony said, as he and Aaron chuckled some more. Tony then walked over to the empty water bowl, on the floor, picked it up—and then he began filling it with water from the kitchen sink—then I started laughing—I felt like a fool—our dogs always drink creek water—not Ozarka.

“Aaron, this is what I have to put up with,” Tony teased, as he shot me a wink and a smile. “Never a dull moment around here—never.”

“I feel like a complete idiot,” I said. “But I do have an excuse—Mercury is in retrograde!” They started laughing even harder.

We invited Aaron to join us for breakfast, and I was teased non-stop throughout the entire meal.

Later this morning, Tony and I went over to the Lodge, to drink some coffee with Kinky. “Y’all know, how hunting dogs will instinctually point, or tree an animal that’s trapped up in a tree,” Tony said. “Well, we have two dogs, Princess and Emily—who treed a Tarantula this morning!”

“You’re kidding me?” I said.

“Really?” Kinky asked. “A Tarantula?”

“Yes,” Tony said. “I was fixing to go into their pen to clean it, when they started barking fiercely at a tree. I went over to the tree to check it out, and there was this giant Tarantula! I pulled out my camera and shot it, and then I took it from the tree and set it free—far away from the pens. Wait till you see the pictures I took!”

Fifty-Six?

“Who?” we asked.

Kinky paused, puffed on his cigar for a moment, to create more drama—“Ruth Buzzi! Kent called to tell me that he and Ruthie will be attending the event!”

“Oh my gosh!” I said. “I can’t wait to see Kent, again! And at last, Tony and I are going to finally be able to meet his better half—Ruthie! I hope that they will have the time, to come over to the rescue ranch, so I can show them the Space Ship and go into Outer Space with us!”

Last night, during happy hour with Tone, I taped “Survivor.” When happy hour was over, I came inside and watched the entire two hours of the show. And I must say—I loved it, and am now hooked on it! I am so glad that Jon and Sandy told me to watch it.

The only thing that depressed me about ‘Survivor,’ was at the first of the show. When I saw that really old male / contestant, I liked him, but felt really sorry for him, because he was way too old, and I knew that he would most likely be booted off the show early on. Good grief—he had to be in his late sixties! And then, when he introduced himself and said, “I’m fifty-six years old,” I went into total depression!

I’m fifty-six, and not for much longer! As soon as I heard his words, I jumped out of my chair, removed my wire rims, and then skipped down the hall, to go look into the mirror! For over twenty years or more, I have always removed my glasses, before looking into mirrors, because I truly think it takes twenty years off of my age. I love it!

When I looked into the mirror, I was somewhat relieved at what I saw. I didn’t look great or even good, but I didn’t look near as old as that man! I figure, he must have been ‘rode hard and put up wet’ one too many times.

Yesterday, while ‘staying put,’ for Kinky to show up at Wolfmueller’s, Jon asked me to help them, come up with a name for their patio, which I think is the prettiest outdoor patio in all of Kerr county! I think they should call it—’The Launch Pad’ or ‘The Space Capsule’ or ‘The Space Center,’ or ‘The Twilight Zone,’ or even ‘Outer Space,’ because everytime that Tony and I have been over there—we’ve had a blast out there!

Yesterday, my order of five cans of Pinhead Oatmeal arrived—a day early! I called Kinky to tell him the great news, and he was excited, because he had just run out of his this morning! Tony and I drove over to the Lodge to deliver a can to Kinky. He was grateful and said, “Thanks Nance. I thought you told me, that you ordered five can? Where are they?”

“I did Kinky—you get one can—Tony and I are hoarding the rest, and going to make you beg for another can!”

P.S. My good friend, Kathy H., up in Dripping Springs, just called and invited Tony and me to a party at her and Jerry’s ranch, for Saturday night! She told me that my brother Ron, his wife, Nita and my sister, Cindy and her husband, Ray, are coming to it! It is very tempting, but unfortunately, we can’t go. She also asked me, if I could help her find a home for a stray dog, that was either dumped or lost. She told me that he is approximately one year old, not neutered and she did get him his shots. Anyone interested in this dog, please call the rescue ranch and I’ll put you in touch with Kathy. This dog is beautiful! He needs a home!

If!

When we returned to the ranch, Kinky had left a message, on the answering machine, “Nancy, Tony call Kinky! Y’all need to get over here!”

I immediately called Kinky and got his machine! “Kinky, it’s Nancy. Are you okay? We just got back from...”

“Nance, can you and Tony come over? I want to show y’all my new truck!”

“What? You got a new truck?” I asked.

“Yes. Jon Wolfmueller and I went to a dealership over in Boerne, and I bought a green Chevy four door, Silverado. And, you can’t name it, because I already have. I’ve named it—the Irish Fairy.” Then he laughed and so did I.

“I like it,” I said. “You can call it ‘If’ for short, or if you are with people trying to figure out whose car to take, you can say something like, ‘that sounds a little Iffy to me!” We both laughed. “Tone and I will be over there in about five minutes. I can’t wait to see it, Kink!”

Before leaving, I grabbed my camera. When Tony and I arrived at the Lodge—Kinky was outside, puffing on a cigar /eaning on the Irish Fairy’s tailgate! As Tony and I checked out the Irish Fairy, from headers to tow (bar), Kinky told us all about his truck, and the great deal that he had gotten on it.

As the three of us /eaned on the back of the truck, we told Kinky how much we liked If. We then talked about the calendar, and the upcoming Ranch Roundup on October 25th. “Guess who is going to be at the event?”

“Who?” we asked!

To be continued...

P.S. I have to go now, because today, I promised Jon and Sandy, who are and have been for years, hooked on the popular tv show ‘Survivor,’ that I would watch it—for the very first time, to see if I get hooked on it, too.

P.S.S. Tony just went into Outer Space to set up our Space Station for happy hour, which always requires our portable Bose iDock, my iPod, cold beer and a box of my fine wine! Tony just came back inside to tell me that happy hour has just commenced! I can hear Willie Nelson singing one of my favorite songs, ‘Far Away Places!’

Last P.S. I promise! Jon and Sandy, I have just come up with the perfect name for your beautiful patio—how about calling it...

To be continued...

(Laugh out loud! I’m sorry, I couldn’t resist it! I needed the laughs!)

Hot Dog!

Monday afternoon, we went to see Trisha, at Copies Plus. I gave her some CDs and then we discussed the 2009 calendar. After we left her business—Tony and I headed back to the rescue ranch.

When we crossed the cattle guard, welcoming you to Echo Hill Ranch, Tony slammed—on the brakes! And, I nearly went through the glovebox—had it been bigger! “Tony?”

“Sorry Nance, I think I just saw a dog back there,” Tony said. He threw Buttermilk into reverse, and we slowly backed up about twenty five feet, where we found a scared looking yellow Lab mix—on a short, three foot leash—tied to a tree—with no food or water!

For goodness sakes, it was ninety degrees outside! I won’t tell you what Tony or I said, about the cowardly jerk, who had done this to that poor dog—we were truly mad! How can people do things like this?

We got out of Buttermilk, tried talking to the frightened dog, who was so scared, he was in a frozen, crouched down position. We didn’t know if he was going to bite us, or what, so we told him that we would be right back, and then we took off. We stopped at the barn, grabbed a bucket, filled it with water, and grabbed a package of hot dogs.

We then returned to the dog! Tony put the bucket of water near him, and the dog didn’t budge. Tony then tried to give him some weiners, but the dog remained in his frozen crouch—no tail wagging, no movement—nothing. Not sure if the dog was going to attack or bite, Tony decided to cut the leash tied to the tree, and try to walk him into the rescue ranch.

Tony went behind the tree, cut the leash and then asked the terrified dog, on the other end of the leash, to walk with him. The dog stood up, and started walking with Tony. Ten steps later, the dog’s tail was up high and wagging—as he pulled Tony towards our entrance gate!

I grabbed the water bucket, emptied the water on some nearby cactus, then I tossed it into the back of Buttermilk, and then slowly followed Tony and the dog into the ranch. Tony put the dog into a big alley, because we had no pen for him to go into, because we are at capacity. I gave Tony the bucket. He filled it with water, as the dog wagged his tail and kissed Tony’s hand.


“Let’s call him, Henry,” I said, as Tony went off to get dog food. While Tony was gone, the poor dog drank half the water from the bucket, and then he put his four paws into the bucket—to cool off.

When Tony returned with dry and canned dog food for him—Henry was wagging his tail wildly! Henry the 8th, cleaned his food dish real fast, and he seemed to be happy! He let us pet him and he kissed us on the face. I was so glad.

Tony told him to sit and he did on command! “Nance, this is one fine dog and he is smart, too.” I agreed.

After talking to him, petting him, and telling Henry he was safe and everything was going to be fine. We returned to the trailer.

I spent Tuesday morning working, non-stop, on the 2009 rescue ranch calendar! Around 12:45, our good friends, Garnet and Sandy S., from Utopia, showed up! They were celebrating the day, because of a very special, important anniversay—Sandy had been cancer free for three years! We were so happy to see our friends, and happy about their great news!

After hugs and handshakes, they told us that they wanted to see my Space Ship, and go into Outer Space with us. And, they were possibly interested, in a small black and brown dog that we had—Hannah Montana #2 to be exact.

Tony and I showed them the Space Ship first, and they like everyone else—loved it, and were blown away with how cool it was! Then we took them into Outer Space! They loved it, too, and could not believe that Ronnie and Tom had built it in a day and a half!

We had a really fun visit in Outer Space with them, and like all of our dear friends—we did a lot of laughing! During our visit, I discovered that Garnet had become a writer, and I was thrilled for her! I asked her to please e-me some of her stories and she said she would.

Then our conversation turned to Hannah Montana. We told them everything that we knew about this precious little dog, and then we went to go see her. Hannah stole their hearts immediately, and they asked if they could adopt her, and try her out with their other dogs, and menagerie of other animals. Of course, we said yes, because we knew our friends would spoil Hannah and give her a super home!

After signing Hannah’s adoption form, we said our goodbyes to Garnet, Sandy and Hannah. That made our day.

Then I went back to the trailer, I finished the calendar within twenty minutes, and then Tony and I took off for Kerrville to go see Trisha at Copies Plus.

When we returned to the ranch, Kinky had left a message, on the answering machine, “Nancy, Tony call Kinky! Y’all need to get over here!...”

To be continued...