X Marks The Spot! Or BRS!

The last couple of days I've been productive. Dividing my time between mowing, napping, writing and more mowing.

I mow in the mornings until it gets too hot for me and then I mow in the evening once the sun is hiding behind our tall tree line. So I guess you could say it's a shady deal.

After cooking us lunch and cleaning up the kitchen, I go lay down, on the bed, with all of our six dogs to take a nap. Which they seem to enjoy as much as I do.

I am not complaining about this, but there is one problem with this napping scenario and it never seems to fail. Because right when I am just about to fall asleep, wedged between Henry's huge backside and Little Debbie's & Big Al(ice)'s tiny backsides—the next scene, in my third novella plays out in my head.

I mean I can clearly see the setting, the characters, see what they are doing and also hear what they're saying. And it has always been this way for me, ever since the University of Texas published my first book The Road To Utopia: How Kinky, Tony & I Saved More Animals Than Noah, in 2006.

I've always thought that this was weird, but I've never thought much about it much until the other day when I read this on the Internet:

In a 1957 Paris Review interview with Pati Hill, Capote explained  “I am a completely horizontal author. I can’t think unless I’m lying down, either in bed or stretched on a couch and with a cigarette and coffee handy. I’ve got to be puffing and sipping. As the afternoon wears on, I shift from coffee to mint tea to sherry to martinis. No, I don’t use a typewriter....”

First off, it it such a relief to me to finally be able to define my writing technique when I'm asked. Because I never exactly knew how to describe my "style" of writing, in as few words, to fit it on a bumper-sticker.

Anyway, I am so glad to finally be able to simply say, "I am a completely horizontal author," but that is where the comparison between me and Truman Capote stops. And my reasoning for this is Capote was a remarkably great writer. My uncle John Howard Griffin was a great writer too, when he wrote the famous Classic Black Like Me. Which has sold many millions of books worldwide and it is still selling and is still required reading at many prominent universities.

So, "I am a completely horizontal author" fits me even though I am trying to take an enjoyable nap with my dogs when these scenes appear inside my head and I have to jump up, go to my computer and write them down—instead of lounging around drinking and smoking. Enough said.

Late last night the scariest thing happened to me while I was watching an episode of Heartland, on Netflix. In Season 10, Amy was just about to have her baby, when I glanced down, at Henry Standing Bear sleeping.

Henry was cutting zzz's, squeezed between the coffee table and end table, with "scenes" probably going on inside his noggin, too.  X marks the spot where Henry's head was (facing the chair). My chair is to the left where his butt was almost touching the leg of my chair. Here's the layout:

Anyway, when I looked down there was this gigantic spider spread out—ready to pounce on Henry's paw. X marks the spot where this creature was located.

Tony was already asleep, so I knew that I shouldn't scream, so I got up, paused Heartland, grabbed my camera and then tried to calmly say, "Henry! Let's go outside."

It worked, because Henry immediately jumped up and went to the front door, along with all of the rest of our dogs. So I let them go outside.

Then with camera in hand and feeling guilty that I had paused Amy having a horrible labor pain, I bent down and took this picture of the spider from he@#!

This spider didn't move and it looked dead, so I stood back and took a few, far away, zoomed-in pictures, but sadly none of those turned out, because I must have been shaking.

Anyway, since the spider had still not moved, I decided not to stomp it, because I wanted to show it to Tony in the morning. 

And that was a really bad plan, because after I had downloaded this picture of the spider I went Online to try to find out what kind of spider it was that had almost killed Henry and the rest of us, except for Tony, who was snoring, in the bedroom.  

As frightened as I was, I quickly found a picture of a Brown Recluse Spider. "Omg," I whispered to myself, because this was definitely a Brown Recluse. Then I turned around, when I got up from my desk chair and the BRS was gone!

Seriously, it had not moved for at least fifteen minutes and it had looked dead. Now I was in a full-blown panic mode, so I got Hazel, out of the closet, emptied her bag less tank and then let her do her thing.  

I emptied her tank, so in the morning Tony and I could go through all of the dog hair and properly dispose of the BRS wannabe murderer.

By now it was almost 2 AM, and I hated myself for leaving Amy in labor-limbo, for so long, but I turned off the TV and brought the dogs back inside, so we could go to bed. But before we went to bed I wrote Tony a short note telling him about the BRS nearly killing us and I signed it, "Love, Nancy."

Needless to say, I did not sleep well last night, because I was fearing that the BRS's significant other would come and take revenge on me or take a picture of me sleeping.

So this morning, after only a few hours of sleep, I drank a cup of coffee while Tony and I went through Hazel's findings—no BRS was to be found.

So then I showed Tony the picture of this Brown Recluse Spider, on my computer, and he said, "Nance, I'm sorry, but that is not a Brown Recluse Spider...." Here is the picture I took of it and sadly, I am still not convinced that Tony is right. And I can't help but wonder where it is hiding, for its next attack.

As I finish writing this, please note that I wrote this following another one of my late afternoon, sleepless naps with our dogs, because I am a horizontal author. And just so you'll know—Amy & Ty had a little boy. Not really it's a girl!

Y'all have a great evening and keep on laughing!

The Best of Times! or Jack's Jacket!

Yesterday and today have been so much fun and also exciting. Tuesday afternoon our great friends Denise & Mark came to see us and they brought their dear friends, Irene & Dave, who had come all of the way, from Florida, to visit them.

These two, fabulous couples have been best friends for over 40 years and they came down to see us, on their way-too-cool Harleys.

It was so great to see Denise & Mark and both Tony and I instantly became best friends with Irene & Dave, because we all had so much in common.

We had a blast visiting with them yesterday. And this morning before they headed back, to Austin, they came back for another fun-filled visit. But I believe Little Debbie had the best of times, because if Denise wasn't holding her or Irene wasn't gushing over her—Mark was carrying her around like a little baby.

Little Debbie was eating up all of the attention she was getting and she was starting to get a big head about it, until she learned that Mark & Denise were missing their little, precious Ouzie, another adorable Chihuahua that they had rescued a few years ago. And when Irene showed me cute pictures of Ouzie, Denise laughed and said, "I think Ouzie is adorable, but Mark tells people she looks like a loaf of bread with a head and a tail."

And after we had quit laughing about how Mark described their Chihuahua, Irene said, "She is cute, but she has an armadillo tail." Then Irene quickly showed me a picture of Ouzie's rear-end and I did have to agree with her that Ouzie's tail looks exactly like an armadillo.

This afternoon after we adios-ed our great friends Tony and I took off for Kerrville, so we could run a few errands. And our first stop was at, Wolfmueller's Books, which is one of our favorite places in Kerr County and the best bookstore in Texas.

When we walked inside Wolfmueller's Books, Sandy & Jon and Jean (Jon's sister) greeted us. Then they invited us to sit down for a fun visit. Omg, Tony and I had so much fun visiting with them and I laughed for so long, my back was aching, before I even got to tell them about Jack's jacket. And here is a condensed version on that topic.

"Y'all know how much I love Heartland," I said. "The show is so awesome. It takes place in Alberta, Canada and has been on television for over eleven years, in Canada and is popular all over the world.

"Netflix has 9 seasons of Heartland and each season has 18 episodes that are each 42 minutes long. Seriously, I am addicted to that wholesome show."

"I love Heartland too," Jean replied.

"Nancy loves it so much she has watched the 9 Seasons three times," Tony added.

"It's true. And after watching the nine Season's twice, I broke down and bought Heartland's Season 10. And I loaned my Season 10 to Ronnie & Nita, when I went up for Katelyn's wedding. And Ronnie & Nita were so thrilled about it you would have thought I had loaned them a million dollars...and then Ronnie & Nita bought a subscription on UP TV and ...."

"....Well, Ronnie & Nita are addicted to Heartland too. And last week Ronnie called to tell me that he had done some research, on Heartland, and he found our that Jack's (Shaun Johnston, the awesome actor who plays Jack Bartlett, the cowboy, rancher and the grandfather that everyone adores) barn jacket that he wears often, in the show. And it is not a canvas Carhartt coat like I thought it was. The jacket Jack wears is made by LL Bean and it is called a barn chore jacket..." And here is a picture of Jack wearing this great-looking, famous jacket.

"So Ronnie starts laughing and tells me that he had just bought a used Jack's jacket, on Ebay." Sandy, Jean, Jon and Tony started laughing. "I was so green with envy I ended up buying one, too—on Ebay and I got it cheaper than Ronnie paid for his. And my Jack's jacket came today, even though it was scheduled to arrive this Friday! Omg, I love it so much and then Ronnie...."

Late this afternoon before coming home, Tony and I dropped by Jim & Joan's beautiful ranch for a fun visit, because we could not wait to see it. Now remember, Jon's twin sisters are Joan & Jean and this is Joan's & Jim's ranch. 

Anyway, their beautiful ranch is totally awesome. Jim & Joan's ranch house is also totally awesome and Tony and I loved how she had decorated it, with Jim's help of course. So Tony and I had a really fun visit with our super-nice neighbors, up on the pass and then we came home. And guess what I did?

Yes, as soon as I had hugged all of our dogs, I grabbed my Jack's jacket, my cowboy hat, bandana and then locked myself, inside the restroom—while hoping and praying that Tony would not knock on the door, because he needed to rest.

Luckily for me Tony was well rested and he never knocked. So three minutes later, after putting on my "outfit" I came out, grabbed my camera and then asked Tony to come outside and take this picture of me—wearing Jack's jacket, so I could e-mail it to Ronnie and get a laugh out of him & Nita.

Tony chuckled about me wearing Jack's jacket, because it was about 80 degrees outside and he knew that soon I would be sweating bullets inside, so to  speak. So my poser-photo-shoot only took us about 1 minute outside. And this is the best picture, out of the fifteen, that Tony took of me wearing my Jack's jacket.

And that is about it for tonight, because I am going to watch Heartland's Season 7: Episodes 10, 11 and maybe 12.

Y'all have a great evening and keep on laughing!

My Stuff!

Whoa, last night right around midnight, I had already unplugged everything and I was reading and just about ready to go to bed when there was this super-loud thunder clap and the rain began pouring down.

Big Al(ice) who had been sleeping on my lap jumped up and her eyes told me that she was scared. So I carried her over to the kitchen island, put on her thunder jacket and then she took one of her itsy, bitsy "panic pills."  Then we all went to bed and we didn't sleep for at least an hour.

Today has been great. This morning a very nice man delivered our 2500 gallon water cistern using his forklift, because he had to park his eighteen-wheeler down the road, because he couldn't drive it onto Big Foot Ranch. And that is Big Al(ice) still wearing her thunder jacket, directing traffic.

While Aaron helped Tony set up the cistern and hook it up to our other 1500 gallon cistern, I searched in vain for the books that I've written.

It was very frustrating to me, because even though Tony and I had raided our closet, The Mother Ship, all of the packed boxes, inside the barn, etc. days before—I still came up empty-handed.

After Aaron adios-ed us, Tony helped me continue with my search, but still no books to be found. So I gave up and cooked us lunch. And yes, I admit I ate the delicious Mexican Hot Chocolate ice cream for dessert, because I am still on my sabbatical and Tony ate some, too.

Late this afternoon, we found my saddle and Maya's bridle, lead rope, pink blanket, etc. and Tony helped me haul them inside, The Cabin. I was so glad to find them even though I still have no idea where I am going to put my saddle and tack, because I used to keep it, in my pink cabin.

A little while later, Tony and I went over to Carol's beautiful ranch, so we could pick up Roy, our 2012 Dodge Ram truck, because Carol had offered to let us put it, inside her barn, in case of severe weather.

On our way over to Carol's, I got a bright idea, and said, "Tony, maybe my books are being stored, in Carol's barn. That's the only place that we haven't looked..." And sure enough they were! My last three books that I've written and self-published, after the University of Texas Press published my very first book The Road To Utopia: How Kinky, Tony & I Saved More Animals Than Noah, in 2006.

I was on Cloud 9 about finding my books and more of my stuff. So when Carol invited us to come inside, because "I have something I want to give to you, Nancy..." I went from Cloud 9 to Cloud 9 1/2, because Carol had given me the most beautiful, potted Easter Lily. She told me, "I love Easter Lilies and when I decided to buy one for myself I decided to get you one, too...."

As always we had a fun visit with Carol, while we petted sweet Scout (aka Carol's Shadow) and little Pepper, who occasionally low-growled at us in between pats on top of his head.

After we adios-ed Carol we came back home and Tony cheerfully carried in my big box of treasured stuff that included my books, because he was so tired of hearing me b*^%$# about "Where Are My Books?..." 

And while that was happening I took this picture of my beautiful Easter Lilies.

Then I started unpacking my box of goodies and I was thrilled about also finding my purple, alien, Roswell, New Mexico koozie, my pink, feathered, glittery drum sticks, my Chihuahua bottle topper that looks like Little Debbie, except it has two eyes, the famous Taos Pueblo. artist Jonathan Warm Day's beautiful note card and of course copies of my books that I've written.

So this evening, before I sit down and relax by watching a couple of episodes of Heartland, my all time favorite Netflix series, I plan to sign three of my books to our dear friends Andy & Lisa and to our new found friends Cathy & Chip. And I hope to mail them tomorrow, provided Carol can give me Chip & Cathy's Wisconsin address. And that is about it for tonight.

Y'all have a great evening and keep on laughing!

P.S. Cathy & Chip if you read this post, please note that my two novellas are pure fiction and none of the stuff that I wrote about Carol is true, except that she is my best and dearest friend.

And My Jaw Dropped Again!

Katelyn's & Clay's wedding was so great and so was my super-fun adventure up to Dripping Springs, Austin and Buda.

Saturday, I safely arrived at Ronnie & Nita's Ronderosa Ranch, ten minutes before the crack of noon and no one was home as expected. Earlier in the morning Ronnie had already told me that he and Nita were going over to the Ruby Ranch, in Buda, so they could help get things ready for Katelyn's & Clay's wedding and they were going in their RV.

Their two dogs, Brick & Maggie, played a game with me. They would act tough and bark at me and then they would stop and let me pet them, over the fence, and then they would start barking at me when Cindy arrived, at the famous Ronderosa Ranch.

Cindy came there to pick me up and take me to her lovely home, in South Austin, so we could eat lunch, at her home and visit and catch up with each others news and then get ready for the wedding.
And that was so much fun for me.

Cindy and I arrived, at Ruby Ranch, fifteen minutes before the wedding. She was dressed up real nice and I looked okay. I wore my only "dress-up" green blouse, new Levis, pink boots and cowboy hat. And I topped off my look—wearing one of my pink bandanas tied around my neck, to help hide my turkey neck.

Fortunately for me, the wedding was casual and most of the friends and family that attended wore Wranglers or Levis, cowboy boots and cowboy hats too, so I didn't feel like I stuck out, in the crowd, even though I was the only woman there wearing a cowboy hat.

After the beautiful bride and handsome groom said their vows and kissed Clay danced with his bride and when Ronnie danced with Katelyn, Cindy and I teared up and so did just about everyone there. It was all so beautiful.

During the reception, before we sat down and ate a delicious BBQ dinner, I got to visit with old friends and while I was drinking a beer I had this fun conversation with Joel, a fabulous friend and an extremely talented musician. He plays, guitar, mandolin and banjo, too.

Joel and I talked about our good friend Chet O'Keefe, Terlingua, Northern New Mexico, our mandolins, our guitars and about Neil Young playing a 6-string guitar/banjo, etc. And because a few days earlier I had also talked to Brook about 6-string guitar/banjos, at Wolfmueller's Books, I thought it was definitely a sign. So, before I adios-ed Joel and went to go eat a delicious BBQ dinner, at Cindy's big family table, I vowed to him that I was going to buy myself a 6-string guitar/banjo. And I  meant it, too.

To sum it all up, I had a wonderful time, at the wedding and getting to visit with friends and family. And in case you are asking, "Where was Tony?" He, at the last minute, decided not to go to the wedding, because of our dogs being left alone for too long. And everyone, at the wedding, was sick that he didn't get to come to the wedding.

Sunday afternoon on my way back to our Big Foot Ranch, Tony called me with some exciting news, when I was only about five minutes away from arriving, in Kerrville. "Nance, Steve Pietzsch and Andy are over here and they are putting our rain gutters up for us....Would you please stop, at Home Depot, to buy a few extra seamers, glue and....so they can finish the job, because they are almost finished and they need those parts?"

Of course my jaw dropped when Tony told me this wonderful news about our good friends installing the rain gutters for us, for free, because both Tony and I were more than nervous about us attempting to do it ourselves. And I am still in shock that these two men came over and did this hair-raising job for us.

Anyway, when I arrived at our new ranch, Andy was standing high up, on a ladder, Steve was holding up a gutter's end, so Andy could properly attach it to our roof and Tony was busy running around fetching parts and tools that they needed. And my jaw dropped again.

A few hours later, after their hard labor our beautiful, rain gutters were installed on the roof, so we celebrated by drinking a round of beers and toasting our dear friends and thanking them for volunteering to do this—just to help us out. And I do know that neither Tony or I will ever be able to thank them enough for doing this act of kindness. "Thank you so much Andy and Steve. We love y'all so much!"

This morning when I was on the phone talking to Ronnie about Heartland, the number one favorite, eleven-years-running series, in Canada, on Netflix and about how much we loved that show.

Then Ronnie laughed and then changed the subject. He told me that he and Nita were having a ranch party, this coming Saturday, to celebrate Katelyn's birthday. "You and Tony have got to come to this. It is going to be a pot-luck with about 40 people there. And all of our friends are bringing their instruments too, so we're going to be playing a lot of music...."

So after Ronnie and I adios-ed each other I did what I had to do. I immediately went Online, to Amazon and bought a beautiful, inexpensive, 6-string guitar/banjo and it should be arriving tomorrow!

I cannot wait for it to get here, because I have a lot of practicing to do on it, before we go to the fun, ranch birthday party. And that is about it for tonight, except I do want to thank sweet Carol, for letting us come over to her ranch, this evening, to wash and dry two loads of our dirty clothes.

Y'all have a great evening and keep on laughing!