He Had Been Busted!

First off—I hope that all of y'all and your loved ones are well and doing okay during this stressful time. Knock-on-wood Tony and I are fine.

I have just spent the past four days glued to my laptop getting my book The Cowgirl Sisterhood: The Terlingua Treasure Map ready to be published. So, I am pretty excited about this. I plan to launch a Kindle version first—then within a week I will release the paperback—all available on Amazon. So I hope you will wish me luck, because it has been a long time coming. In fact—too long.

This morning was eventful. Tony woke me up at 5:00, as I had requested, but when five o'clock rolled around I asked him to please give me fifteen more minutes. He replied, "No problem. I've already made a cup of coffee for you." Then I quickly fell back to sleep.

Fifteen minutes later, Tony woke me up, again. I was still half-asleep, as I went into the kitchen to get my first cup of coffee and I was looking forward to it.

Anyway, as Tony was filling up the bowls of dog food for our five four-leggers, I went to get my coffee. But when I looked inside my mug, there was only about 3 tablespoons of coffee in the bottom of the cup and there was some coffee spilled all around my mug. Huh?

So I said to Tony, "I thought you made me some coffee, but there is only a couple of spoonfuls of it in my mug. Did you mistakenly drink my coffee?"

"No, I didn't drink your coffee. Mine is right here. Let me look."

After Tony looked inside my empty mug and saw the spilled coffee (about six tablespoons)  on the countertop we looked at each other, and both said, "Henry did it." And we started laughing, because Henry is notorious for eating stuff off of our counter top and kitchen island.

"Henry Standing Bear did you drink my coffee?" I asked. Henry looked at us and then he raced out the front door, because he knew that he had been busted. Bottom    Line: Henry prefers Taster's Choice Decaf and so do we.

I have yet to decide if I am going to start drinking coffee with Henry every morning, but I might, because like me—he can be a little grumpy first thing in the morning. Because this morning Mr. H.S. Bear seemed to be real perky—even though it was decaf.

Y'all stay safe and healthy and I hope you find something to keep you laughing—like reading my new book!  👀 😉

Gerry Olert—Is The Best!

Today has been great. Tonight's post is going to be rather short, because I have something very important to do in few minutes— spend Happy Hour with Tony and our five four-leggers!

I am looking forward to doing this, because I need a break from hearing any more depressing, negative news, etc.

But I do want to share what my dear friend Gerry Olert sent to me this morning. He has just uploaded his latest video Gerry Olert's Reel 2020, on YouTube, and several of our dear friends (including me) are in Gerry's video. Such as: a clip of Jay Pennington starring in his and Gerry's Short Western—Smile, Ruth Buzzi, Chet O'Keefe and Billy Joe Shaver. So please click here to watch it and please give Gerry a thumbs up.

Thank y'all for watching it.

Y'all have a great evening and keep on laughing! And stay safe, healthy and happy! Cheers!

Thanks Mari—I LOVE This!

My dear friend Mari sent me this and I must share it with y'all, because it is so true. The author of this poem is Paul "Redman" Souder and I totally love it. Thanks Mari!

1950s E-Mail 

Long ago and far away, in a land that time forgot, 

Before the days of Dylan , or the 

dawn of Camelot. 

There lived a race of innocents, and they were you and me,

Twas the best of times for all of

us in the Land That Made Me Me.

For Ike was in the White House in that land where we were born,

Where navels were for oranges, and Peyton Place was porn.

We longed for love and romance, and waited for our Prince,

Eddie Fisher married Liz, and no one's seen him since. 

We danced to 'Little Darlin,' and sang to 'Stagger Lee' 

And cried for Buddy Holly in the 

Land That Made Me, Me. 

Only girls wore earrings 

then, and 3 was one too many, 

And only boys wore flat-top cuts, 

except for Jean McKinney.

And only in our wildest dreams did we expect to see 

A boy named George with 

Lipstick, in the Land That Made Me,Me. 

We fell for Frankie Avalon, 

Annette was oh, so nice, 

And when they made a movie, they never made it twice. 

We didn't have a Star Trek 

Five, or Psycho Two and Three

Or Rocky-Rambo Twenty in the Land That Made Me, Me. 

Miss Kitty had a heart of gold, and Chester had a limp, 

And Reagan was a Democrat whose co-star was a chimp.

We had a Mr. Wizard, but not a Mr. T, 

And Oprah couldn't talk yet, in the Land That Made Me, Me.

We had our share of heroes, we never thought they'd go,

At least not Bobby Darin, or Marilyn Monroe.

For youth was still eternal, and life was yet to be, 

And Elvis was forever in the Land 

That Made Me, Me. 

We'd never seen the rock 

band that was Grateful to be Dead,

And Airplanes weren't named Jefferson , 

and Zeppelins were not Led.

And Beatles lived in gardens then, and Monkees lived in trees,

Madonna was Mary in the Land That Made Me, Me.

We'd never heard of microwaves, or telephones in cars, 

And babies might be bottle-fed, but they were not grown in jars. 

And pumping iron got wrinkles out, and 'gay' meant fancy-free,

And dorms were never co-Ed in the Land That Made Me, Me.

We hadn't seen enough of jets to talk about the lag,

And microchips were what was left at the bottom of the bag. 

And hardware was a box of nails, and bytes came from a flea,

And rocket ships were fiction in 

the Land That Made Me, Me. 

But all things have a season, or so we've heard them say,

And now instead of Maybelline we swear by Retin-A.

They send us invitations to join AARP, 

We've come a long way, baby, from the Land That Made Me, Me.

So now we face a brave new world in slightly larger jeans,

And wonder why they're using smaller print in magazines.

And we tell our children's children of the way it used to 

be,

Long ago and far away in the Land That Made Me, Me.

If you didn't grow up in the fifties, 

You missed the greatest time in 

history,

Hope you enjoyed this read as much as I did.

--Paul "Redman" Souder

Y'all have a great day, stay safe and healthy and keep on laughing!

A Burning Desire! or Old Habits!

Today has been great. This morning I had a burning desire. A burning desire to work outside, because  I've been sick with cabin-fever, because for the past few days it has been chilly and raining outside.

While Tony and I were drinking coffee together and maintaining our distance of six feet away from each other—he caught my drift, so to speak. And an hour later, I heard him outside cranking up the weed-whacker.

So I went outside, because I wanted to offer to do some weed-eating and that is when I noticed that he already had a fire going in our fire pit, so we could burn some logs, brush, tree limbs, etc. And this is a picture of Beau sitting on top of our round table, as I tried to take a picture of the fire burning up on the hill.

But it wasn't a very good picture of the fire, so I took this one.

All of our grass and weeds have doubled in height since the rains, so I offered to weed-eat the area between our circular driveway, because it needed it badly. But Tony refused my offer and began whacking away in the area between the driveway, that I had offered to do. Here are before and after pictures of his accomplishments. Shabby lawn—pretty lawn.

While Tony trimmed up the area around my mural I started hauling brush and branches over to the fire pit and started pitching them in to burn. And after making several long hauls to the burn pile, I realized that using one of our wheelbarrows would save time and effort—until I filled it up and I could not make it budge an inch.

So while Tony pushed the wheelbarrow up the hill to the fire pit for me—I went inside to get our gloves and bring back some music, so we could whistle while we worked, so to speak. 

And minutes later, when we took a break we were listening to my music playing outside on our Harmon/Kardon bluetooth speaker. But I found it extremely hard to whistle to Paul Simon singing Graceland, because of my dentures and Tony didn't even bother to try to whistle. He was just happy that I wasn't playing my latest, nerve-calming New Age music.

By 2:00, after we ate lunch (beans and cornbread) our job outside was completed, so as the fire continued to burn the remainder of the brush,  logs and limbs, etc. we came inside and took a short break. Then Tony walked down to our mailbox to retrieve our mail.

There was a notice from the Medina Post Office that I had a package to pick up, so Tony offered to "run" to Medina to pick it up for me to save me a trip, so I could get back to my editing.

Before he left he asked me what I had bought and I told him that it was a secret. Because several days ago I went to Amazon and purchased Taster's Choice DeCalf House Blend coffee, because our supply was running low. Because the last time we went to get groceries both Walmart and H-E-B were out of stock of Taster's Choice.

When Tony returned home, he remarked, "This box is very light. What did you buy?" I told him it was a secret and promised him that he would like it and then I asked him to open the box for me, because I was in the middle of editing a sentence.

After Tony opened up the box he held up the box of Taster's Choice—single servings, and said, "Why did you get us 80 single servings?" 

"It was the only thing that they had at the time. Let's drink a cup of coffee so we can try out the single serve packets?" Bottom   Line: Old habits are hard to break. The coffee was delicious, but Tony wasn't happy about the portion size, because he likes to use a heaping teaspoon—not a level teaspoon for his morning coffees.

So after Tony went back into his man-cave with his cup of coffee, I decided to empty all 80 packets, minus the two that we had already used, into our almost empty jar of Taster's Choice. And I got it all done before I had finished watching one episode of Cheers.

And after I had told Tony what I had done—he was more than thrilled that I had done this for him.

As I finish writing this tonight, I just went outside to check on the fire and all is good—ashes to ashes! Mission accomplished!

Y'all have a great evening and keep on laughing! And please stay safe and healthy!

P.S. I love the song Norwegian Wood and I love Deva Primal & Miten's version!

Bathroom Humor!

This morning my dear friend Mari sent me a couple of e-mails. These made me laugh out loud. But WARNING—it is bathroom humor!

I wish I new the cartoonist name and the clever person's name, so I could give them credit.

Anyway, I am editing this morning and will write more tonight.

FYI: I am leaning towards doing the podcasting videos, but it is not set in stone, yet.

Emojis! or No News Is Good News!

FYI:
Coming from an old woman who now has too much time on her hands, I've decided to use as many emojis as possible in this post, because they make me laugh, so please bear 🐻 with me. Here goes: 😊

After writing my post yesterday I went to the Farmer's Almanac 💻 and discovered that the last M.I.R. event was between February 17 - March 10, which was before BC completely turned Tony's and my world upside down. So, thanks a lot Mercury. You are not my favorite planet, to say the least. 👎

This morning I chose not to watch any news 📺 to protect my mental health, because for me—no news is good news 🙈🙉 and that works for me. ✅

So I remained calm and listened to more of the beautiful, soothing music by Deva Primal & Miten Gayfatri Manose, on Pandora, even though that kind of music drives Tony crazy. 🙏

About an hour or so later ⏳, after gathering up our dirty clothes, so we could go to the Country Clean Laundromat, in Kerrville, I started laughing again😄 about my poor timing for releasing my 3rd novella 📘 that has now turned into a novel. And I just laughed again after writing this 😄 as I'm visualizing the profits from my book flying away. 💸

Anyway, as our 5️⃣ four-leggers 🐕🐕🐕🐕🐕 stared at me while I was laughing 😄 I sort of had another one of those light-bulb moments 💡.

I say "sort of," because I am not sure 🤔 if it is a really good idea ❓, because it might make me a laughing-stock, but then again that might be okay, because I believe laughter is the cure all for almost everything.

So what I am thinking about doing is during my time in exile/isolation maybe I should start doing short podcasts 🎙or videos 📹 of me reading a couple of pages from my new book to either get you 'hooked' so you'll buy it or just to make y'all laugh at me.

But then again it could be a little dicey 🎲 decision to make. But the more I think about it—it is a win-win situation 🎰. So I guess tonight after drinking a glass or two 🍷🍷  of my cheap boxed wine I will make the decision, because I do want to be clear-headed 😏 when I decide what to do.

And who knows? I'm thinking that maybe I should wear a mask 😷 to create a little more drama to my video podcast to make it more interesting. 

Or I could wear my alien-attracting helmet and do the podcast/video live, standing in front of the mural that I recently painted on our water tank outside. But then again, maybe I shouldn't broadcast live, because sometimes even I have a hard time reading my own writing.

Anyway, I have some tough decisions to make tonight and I will get back to y'all sooner than later.

PEACE & LOVE ALWAYS! 

 🖖🏻

Y'all have a great evening and keep on laughing!

BC!

In yesterday's post I forgot to tell y'all this. After doing some more editing yesterday I suddenly realized that because of the pandemic—no one is in any hurry to read my book, because so much is going on. And it made me laugh after thinking about it. I thought "Slow down. There is no need to hurry now, etc. Life has changed as we knew it."

So after laughing about my poor timing dilemma, I guess that I will wait to publish my book after things settle down.

Then I came up with this name/term "BC" (Before Corona) to use when I am talking or thinking about life before the pandemic crisis hit.

So now I am adding it to my list of abbreviations, such as: M.I.R. (Mercury In Retrograde). And that is about it for today, because now I must find out if we can blame the pandemic on Mercury.

Y'all have a great evening and keep on laughing!

Relieved That It Hadn't Fallen!

This past week has been so unbelievable. A week ago today Tony went to the big H-E-B, in Kerrville to pick up a few needed groceries and it was no big deal. I didn't go with him, because I was  staying home so I could finish my second edit on my book.

I was thrilled with my editing, because I was able to spice it up with a lot more humor, so Thursday evening Tony and I had a fun happy hour celebrating how good I felt about my book improvements.
Life was good.

Then Friday was the blackest Friday that I've lived through in my sixty-eight years on the Planet. And  on Saturday the news about this horrible virus just continued to get worse and worse by the hour. So like many of you—I got very depressed and tried to fight off panicking.

By Sunday, I had heard enough scary news, so I turned off the news stations blasting me/us with doomsday Latest-Breaking News. So I went outside and looked up at the sky to see if was falling.

Relieved that it hadn't fallen yet, I came back inside and I called Ronnie, my sweet older brother and then I called Cindy, my sweet older sister, in hopes they could help me calm my nerves and cheer me up.

It helped talking to them, but they were in as much shock as I was. And for the very first time in my entire life when visiting with my beloved family members—not one of us laughed once during our long conversations. And I really needed to laugh, because I was literally stressed out to the max.

So, I called my dear friend Cindy, who lives in a beautiful, off-grid adobe hacienda, in Northern New Mexico. Sadly, neither she or I laughed once, too. And by the end of our conversation we did agree on one thing—the world we live in no longer makes any sense and that we are living in strange times.
And before we adios-ed each other Cindy recommended that I watch the movie Snow Walker, on Netflix and to listen to the beautiful music of Deva Premal & Miten Gayfatri Manose to help calm my nerves. "The mantras are ancient Sanskrit. Their music is famous all around the world..."

So I found Deva & Miten's awesome music on Pandora and then I went and took a nap with my four-laggers while listening to their calming music. And that night I watched Snow Walker and I loved it, too. Then I went to bed feeling much better about the Universe.

The next morning I refused to listen to the news while checking my e-mail. And the good news is sweet Mari sent me the cutest picture that has gone viral on the Internet and—it made me laugh out loud!

Mari's subject line was: Saint Bernards Ready To Assist In Emergency and when I opened her note here is the picture that she had sent to me:

I was so thankful that Mari had made me laugh and had lifted my spirits I immediately responded to her e-mail:

"The Saints know how to roll with it!"

Y'all have a great evening and keep on laughing!

P.S. The sky in Medina still hasn't fallen, yet. So it is Onward Through The Fog! PEACE & LOVE

#73-B! or ZZ Top Documentary Rules And Rocks!

Life here is good—knock-on-wood. Since my last post it has mainly been the same routine: editing, working and sleeping, but I do have a few things that I do want to mention here.

Last week our AACC (Ancient Alien Coffee Club) met at Randy's & Lisa's Save Inn Restaurant for coffee, tea, water or breakfast, again. And it was a blast.

During our meeting we presented one of our anonymous members #73-B (we are all anonymous and only use numbers) with his official alien-attracting helmet that Tony and I had custom made especially for him. It took us an hour—laugh out loud.

Once again we used another colander that we purchased @ Wal-Mart for the base of the helmet and after we  had quit decorating #73-B's helmet with pipe cleaners and stickers we stuck a small LED push button light, on the top of it for special effects.

#73-B seemed to really like his alien-attracting helmet and here is a picture of him wearing it and a picture of me wearing my helmet and my LED magnification glasses with my helmet.

And needless to say, the Save Inn's customers thought it was all very funny, too. Which is exactly the response that I had hoped for, because I believe that we all need to laugh more. 

Last week our good friend Gerry Olert came to visit us. (Gerry is the fabulous, talented video-grapher that made all of our rescue ranch videos for us and he also did the Longmire—Texas Style video spoof that I wrote, directed and produced, in 2016, to make Little Debbie more famous. 

The video spoof starred Little Debbie, our rescue ranch friends/volunteer dog walkers, Chet O'Keefe, Bob (the alien) and me. Tony took these pictures of Gerry filming us at Big Jim's & Lady Liz's Grey Goose Saloon.

During our fun visit with Gerry, we discussed my part and what I should wear in Jay Pennington's & Gerry Olert's upcoming Short Western movie Honey To Vinegar. And the best news is Tony is going to be involved with the movie, too!

Anyway last week I did a lot of research for my crazy old lady's costume to wear for my part in the movie and I purchased some material, etc., so I can make my outfit. Which I plan to hopefully sew later on this week. 

Lastly, last week I watched the new ZZ Top documentary, on Netflix and I just want to highly recommend it, because it was so much fun to watch. And the friends that I recommended it to also loved it. And that is about it for now.

Y'all have a great evening and keep on laughing!