Old, Fat And Bald!

Well, I hope that everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving as we did. Now I am going to play catch up and try to fill you in since my last post on turkey day.

First off, I forgot and left out one very important part of the story when Tony, Trigger and I were stranded at Heath's ranch. About ten minutes before Robert, Tito and Gregory showed up to rescue us in Robert's giant, white Chevy pickup, I needed to tinkle really bad, but there was no "little girl's room for me to go powder my nose." So, I looked around the ranch and saw no one in sight, so I opened Trigger's door for privacy and then quickly watered some dead grass and dirt.

As I was buttoning up my 501 Levi's I looked up and said, "OMG, Tony! I didn't see that house up there on the hill. I bet they saw everything! Why didn't you tell me?" Tony started laughing and teasing me.

Fast forward to Friday morning when Aaron came out to try to fix Buttermilk for us. While he was outside putting the fan belt back on her, I was on the phone talking to Kinky about our old vehicles. After our conversation was over, I started cooking lunch for Tony, Aaron and me.

While we ate lunch Aaron asked us what we were going to do with Buttermilk and Trigger, who was still dead over at Heath's ranch. "Stuff them!" I joked. "Like Roy did." Tony and Aaron burst out laughing. "Not really," I said. "After talking with Kinky, it looks like we are hopefully fixin' to trade them in along with Van Morrison and The Blue Marlin for a 2002 Ford Expedition with only 92,000 miles which is only eight years old. Keep your fingers crossed, Aaron."

Friday evening I got a fantastic phone call from Diane, the sweet woman who adopted Jill a week ago Saturday. "Nancy, I want to tell you that Jill is one very happy dog. I built her a little indoor igloo and right now she is asleep inside it laying on her back! She enjoys sitting on my lap and she has not gone off to hide once, because before getting her I made sure that there was no place that she can go hide. I love Jill and she loves me, too. She still hasn't barked yet and I can't wait for her to speak. Thank you, so much..." Diane's phone call made my day and I am so happy for little Jill.

Saturday morning at ten o'clock Maribeth and I took off for our dental appointments with Sam in Johnson City and we had a blast. By the time we got to Lyndon's old home town, we had caught up with each others news. Then we had a really fun lunch with Sam at her favorite Mexican food restaurant on Hwy. 281. And then Sam took us to meet her sweet mother.

After a nice visit with Sam, her mother and their dogs and admiring their beautiful artwork, we went to Sam's office, so she could work her magic on our teeth. At five o'clock we thanked Sam and hugged her and then we headed home in Maribeth's little, red Ford pickup.

An hour and a half later as Maribeth turned off of 16 to our road, I said, "I sure hope that Trigger is back at the ranch. Aaron was going to try to come out today and fix it for us." As we drove into the rescue ranch we saw Trigger parked beside Buttermilk, in front of our trailer. Yeah!

After Maribeth drove away I told T. about our fun dental day and then he told me about his. Then Tony says in a serious tone, "Nance, you got a really strange phone call from some man this afternoon. You need to listen to it." He hit Carlton's play button and we listened.

"Hello, Cousin Nancy. This is that old fat and bald @#$%#$  %$&^$%." Click—dial tone.

"OMG, T.! I have no idea who that is. Do you?" Tony shrugged his shoulders. "He didn't sound mad or drunk, Tone. I wonder who in the world it is. I think I will Google his telephone number. What's his number?"

"It's 813...." After I wrote it down, Tony went outside to see why the dogs were barking and I sat down at the kitchen table and opened up my laptop. Then I changed my mind. I got up from the table, picked up the telephone receiver and punched in the man's phone number and a woman answered on the second ring. And I knew that there was no turning back now.

"Hello, this is Nancy at the Utopia Animal Rescue Ranch and I am returning your phone..."

"Cousin Nancy! I am so sorry about my husband's phone call. I made him hang up when I heard what he said!" Then she started laughing.

"Who are y'all?" I politely asked and then I joined the woman in laughter, even though my back was killing me when I laughed. Even though I didn't know who she was I knew that I already liked her, because of her contagious laugh.

"We're friends with your friends Mark & Denise, in Austin and we live in Florida and they were just down here visiting us. And they gave us your book, Meanwhile Back At The Rescue Ranch: The Dog Days Of Cousin Nancy and we love it. I read it every night to my mom who has dementia. You signed it to us and then jokingly wrote to my husband, "Are you really an old fat and bald @#$%#$  %$&^$%?" Then I burst out laughing and she did, too!

"Yes, I remember now. I was just kidding. We love Denise and Mark and Tater Catfish Stevens!...."

"We can't wait to meet you and Tony! We made Denise and Mark promise to take us to the rescue ranch the next time we visit them and I am going to buy your first book and get you to sign it for us..." After our phone conversation ended I told T. about it and he laughed, too.

This morning T. and I went over to the Lodge to visit with Kinky and then Frank joined us. While we were in the kitchen, Kinky sat down at the kitchen table and pulled off one of his boots. "I need to buy another pair of these boots today. Where should I go?"

"They're Justin Ropers, Kinky," I said.

"How do you know?"

"Because, I have a pair of Justin Ropers, too and they all look alike," I answered, and then Tony turned his boot over and quickly pointed to the red Justin logo, engraved next to the heel, to prove me right. "You can get them at Tractor Supply or Gibson's or Billy's Western Store."

"Mine are Justin Ropers, too," Frank added, and then we all looked at Frank's boots. "They're great boots. Justin Ropers are the best boots on the planet."

I love my ropers, too, but I love my pink, Justin Gypsy boots more," I said, as I lifted up my jeans to show off the pink boot top.

Later this afternoon T. and I went back over to the Lodge to see Kinky. "Did you get your Ropers?" I asked, as I petted Sophia, Brownie and Chumley, while Tony entertained himself by practicing some cool, but difficult pool shots.

"Yes, I'm wearing them," Kinky said. "I bought them at Gibsons and..."

Thirty minutes later, back at the rescue ranch, I decided to add some paint to my newly painted kitchen rug. As the yellow paint, which I decided I didn't like and was definitely going to paint back over, was drying the dogs started barking outside, so T. went outside to see what was going on.

"Hi, Lisa & Mark!" I said, as I walked out to greet them. After howdys and hugs we came inside the trailer to visit and then we went into Outer Space, because it was so nice outside. After we caught up with each other's news I said, "Lisa, next Sunday at two o'clock there is going to be a another drumming circle at The Yoga Space in Kerrville and you ought to think about going to it—it's free and they are so much fun and I think that June and Eileen and Ellen, our great volunteers, are going to come too, and..." After telling Lisa all about it, I think that she is going to try to come to it, too. Then we talked about chickens and the chicken coop that I am fixin' to build.

A little before dark-thirty Tony and I hugged our good friends Lisa and Mark and then bid them farewell, even though we hated to see them leave, because we love them.

I am so looking forward to tomorrow afternoon, because my dear friend Patty Kearns, from Florida, is coming out to visit and I cannot wait to see her, because she is one hilarious woman and she keeps me laughing with her latest tales of high adventure. And, hopefully, she will bring sweet Peggy along with her, too.

P.S. Buttermilk seems to be running fine now, thanks to Aaron, but she now makes a new strange sound that sounds like we're at a cricket convention. Hmmm.........

Y'all have a great evening!