Beckham’s Tale III
It’s been a few days since we had the chance to spend some time to hear the third part of Beckham’s story. Day jobs, B&B guests, meals at Peasants and other issues got in the way of a quiet evening spent in a hog pen listening to the master story teller spin the yarn of The Hog’s history in the New World. Of course, what does it say about us as humans when the only time we allow ourselves to slow down is in a muddy Hog pen where the proper first choice of seating makes all the difference in how the rest of the evening will go. I digress.
Beckham begins;
The times were good for Hogs and Uprights. Fighting between the Smooth Faced and the Hairy was only in small doses, mostly unorganized and localized. Except for the intense savagery and death the skirmishes between the Uprights was not too much unlike the occasional territorial bout seen in the clans of Hogs. Crops were good, wild foods were plentiful and new bands of Uprights making Hog like guttural grunts came to inhabit the land. These new Uprights were quite interested in the Hogs. They lured and kept many of the young Hogs in pens next to their wooden caves of logs. These young ones grew into enormous sizes. On moonless nights some of the Wise Ones from the clans of wild Hogs would sneak into the clusters of wooden caves to speak to these Enormous Hogs. They wanted to learn the secret of their size. Rarely if ever did they find out much. Mostly the Enormous Hogs just slept and they didn’t seem to know much of anything. The Wise Ones began calling them the Ignorants. They didn’t despise them but they cautioned the wild young Hogs to not become like them. Though they didn’t know it at the time these Enormous Hogs would become an negative observation piece among the Uprights with the Upright cautioning their young also to not become as the Enormous Hogs. It seemed the Uprights and the Hogs alike thought this was a bad thing, but the Uprights and Hogs both fed into it. A confusing dilemma.
Beckham paused and looked worried. He asked us if we felt he too had become part of the Enormous Hog trap. We assured him that he, though having put on quite a bit of size since coming to live at Trail’s End was not what we considered an Enormous Hog. As his friends we speculated his daily weight and growth gains were due to his being large boned. Didn’t he still chase the ball and run around his pen to show off his manly outdoor physique to his guests and visitors, we asked? Also perhaps, we advised him, he should consider the long term effects of the “operation” he had shortly before coming to live with us. We explained to him there were many historical references to males among the Uprights that had this same “operation” and they were Uprights of great strength and importance.
“Yes, he agreed, it seems I have heard something about this from the Wise Ones. However, tell me exactly what is this “operation” I was very young when it happened, you know. I mean, what exactly did the Upright doctor do to me anyway? Other than being a bit tender for a few days around my rear hams I haven’t noticed anything different about myself. I felt ok before the “operation;” I felt fine after the “operation.” Was this cosmetic surgery?”
We assured him the surgery was necessary and that the Vet who performed the procedure was highly qualified, a man of some notoriety in his chosen field. This seemed to satisfy Beckham and he resumed his story.
“For us Hogs, the years pass in different ways than you Uprights. We are a greater part of nature than you. You consider yourselves to be the most successful when you have removed the influences of Nature from your day to day lives. Hogs accept Nature and enjoy the differences it gives every day. This makes each day seem to be a reward to itself. Hogs have noticed over the eons that Uprights have brought themselves to a place in Nature where their greatest reward is to live for many suns closed up in the caves of stacked logs and stone, then suddenly they burst out and find the greatest joy in being out among Hogs and others like us. As quickly as you burst out, you retreat back into your caves with an equal amount of joy. Now we as Hogs have had the chance to enter your caves and to be honest we just don’t get it. We see nothing that would cause any Hog to exhibit the same emotions.”
We explained that many Uprights weren’t as hardy and prepared to spend all hours outdoors as Hogs do. Beckham just scoffed, “A cool breeze blowing over me under shady trees on a hot day feels very good indeed. I just nap until I’m hungry or thirsty, I get up eat and drink and go nap again. Sometimes I feel so good and relaxed I just run for the fun of running. I know you fill my water pool and bring me food but I assure you if that stopped I could and would get out of my pen quite easily to find what I needed to live very well. I just don’t understand the lives you Uprights live. Please forgive me if I offend, but this is what happens to me daily - beautiful Upright females come to my pen, bring me choice fruit and vegetables, scratch behind my ears, pat my back and make sweet cooing noises as they call my name. With them come handsome strong Upright males that speak of my great and powerful size. These males seem to admire me in many ways. They are ignored by what I perceive to be their female while she has eyes only for me.
Their females will squat down to my level and hand feed me delicious treats until I can eat no more; then they set the remaining treats on the ground at my feet. They offer NONE to their male, not one scrap yet the male seems to not be bothered in the slightest. I assure you if that was to happen in the society of us Hogs there would be some angry biting and a lot of squealing going on.”
“And another thing, why do some Uprights call me Beckham, others call me Wilber and still others call be Piggy-Piggy? I don’t mind I suppose but why doesn’t anyone call me by my Hog name?”
We told him we did know he had a Hog Name and he told us Uprights didn’t have a lock on naming their young. We asked him his name but we couldn’t understand what he was saying. He repeated it and it was as if a deep rumble came out of his stomach and became a grotesque belch followed by a smacking of the lips. He repeated it one more time and we heard the slightest Hog giggle when he had finished. We became aware he was merely pulling our collective Upright leg. We began to laugh, he began to laugh and we all laughed until tears were in our eyes.
The three of us spoke for long hours that night and many nights since. We have been told many tales by Beckham and we have told him many ourselves. It would be difficult to scribe all these stories yet perhaps one day I will.
You can call him Beckham, Wilber or Piggy-Piggy but what he really likes is to be called, admired and loved. If you take the time to visit you too will soon be able to speak with him and swap stories. He can’t share the wisdom of the ages but he can help you become a better Upright.
No comments:
Post a Comment