Peggy Has A Poop Problem!

Last night after I posted my blog I sat down and watched Hallmark's new holiday movie, "Christmas In November" and I loved it. Sam Elliott starred in it, who I think is one of the sexiest men on the planet, and his performance was outstanding. Even though I teared up several times while watching it—the surprise ending blew me out of my saddle. And, I plan to go to the Hallmark store in Kerrville tomorrow and buy a copy of it.

After the movie ended I channel surfed and found myself getting a little depressed, because there are so few television shows on anymore that are happy or are about love, so I am now seriously considering turning in my Direct TV receiver and just watch my collection of upbeat, romantic movies or comedies. Why should I pay for two hundred channels that I would never watch, because they are either depressing or filled with violence. This morning I talked to Tony about it during our breakfast.

"Tony, it is fine with me to keep your receiver, so you can watch your sports shows, but I am going to return my receiver, because..."

"Before you do that, why don't you try turning the television off for a few days, to make sure you can do without it?" Tone suggested. "Your favorite show "Men Of A Certain Age" new season starts next Monday night and you love watching the Weather Channel and The Wonder Years,  The Golden Girls and..." When he was done talking, I decided to rethink my decision some more.

This morning when I went outside to help T. clean the dog pens I was nicely surprised to see Marvin here. "Howdy, Marvin!" I half-hollered, because he was busy cleaning Hank's and Lois Lane's pen. "Thank you, for coming out!..." Then I grabbed a yellow colored bucket and the pooper-scooper from the back end of Kermit and then I started cleaning up dog pens as Tony fed the dogs.

Around two o'clock as planned, June, one of our great volunteers, showed up with her nice friends Ron and Mary, from Mason, who were thinking about adopting a dog from us. So, after introductions June, Tony and I gave them a tour of the rescue ranch and introduced them to all of our dogs.

When the tour was over Ron and Mary, who I really liked, had narrowed down their choices to Hank, Lucy and Gracie—all three super, great dogs. And, guess who got adopted—Hank! June, Tony and I were thrilled for him and we couldn't quit telling Mary and Ron what a great dog Hank was and how much we loved him! After Ron signed Hank's adoption papers, we shook hands with June's super friends and then I kissed Hank goodbye and wished him luck with his new forever home and then our good friends P&P showed up!

Because I was starting to tear up, because I loved Hank so much and knew that I would miss him terribly, but at the same time feeling happy for him to have found such a great home, I starting walking off towards the trailer to greet Peggy and Patty and half-hollered back, "Thank you, June! It was nice meeting you, Mary and Ron, and thank y'all so much for adopting Hank!"

By the time I reached the trailer I was okay. "Howdy, Patty and Peggy! Thank y'all so much for coming out. I am so glad to see y'all. How in the world have y'all been?" Then we went into Outer Space, so we could have a hen party before Tony joined us.

At one point during our fun conversation Peggy tells me about her old, gray cat dying and then a few days later, a little, young stray, gray colored cat appearing on her and her husband's doorstep. "I named him Smokey, but I should have named him Smelly Cat, because after my husband, Patty's Dad, went back into the hospital, he started pooping all over our house. In the hallway, the bedrooms—everywhere. I don't know what to do with him. It's horrible and it stinks really bad. We've never had a cat do this and he is neutered. We can't figure out what is wrong with him." We all started laughing about Peggy and her husband's stinky predicament.

"Peggy, I bet it is because he is upset and stressed out, because y'all's routine changed. I bet when your husband comes home and things return to normal he will stop pooping everywhere," I said, as Tone walked in Outer Space. After he greeted them, I said, "Tony, Peggy's got a poop problem." We all laughed and then Peggy told T. about her cat with the poop problem.

Then Patty, who I think is the funniest woman to live in Florida, told us about her fun trip to Cleveland to see the Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame Museum. "It was totally awesome and I love Cleveland. It is a great city...." Then she reaches into a gift sack and hands me a baby blue embroidered cap that she bought for me at the cool museum which I plan to wear only on very special occasions. Then Patty pulls out another present for me—a Bota Box of vintage fine wine 2009—Pinot Grigio, so I suggested we drink some to celebrate being together and then I went inside the trailer to grab some glasses.

"Girls, these are my new Pier One, four dollar a piece glasses. I bought four," I jokingly bragged, as Tone popped open a cold beer. After half-filling our drinking glasses with sparkling wine we toasted: "To life! To Us!"

Then we talked about chickens and the chicken coop that I am fixin' to build, Patty's new iPad, Doug Fine's book Farewell, My Subaru and the books that Patty had found and bought at Sandy and Jon's Wolfmueller's Books store, her dear friend Brenda, who I can't wait to meet, George Strait and the 90's movie, "Pure Country," and lastly—we talked about my new teeth.

Around five fifteen, after Peggy had tried on my new Justin Gypsy boots and declared that she loved them and was going to go buy herself a pair, they told me that they needed to leave, so they could get back home before it got dark. I totally understood, but hated to see them leave, because they are two great women. In fact, today I told Peggy, "Peggy, you are such an inspiration to me. Seriously, I hope that when I or if I get to be your age that I am at least as half as cool as you are."

After hugging and saying goodbye to P&P, I came inside the trailer and called Kinky. "Kinky! Hank got adopted to a great home this afternoon. June brought her friends out and ..." Kinky was thrilled to hear my great news about Hank finally finding his fantastic forever home with June's friends. I hope that it works out for Hank and Ron and Mary's dog. I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

Y'all have a great evening! (And, Patty, I hope that you have a safe flight tomorrow. See y'all after Christmas and please tell Brenda that I said, "Howdy!"

Shoot!

I have some great news! Sunday morning, Catherine and David Berry drove down from Buchanan Dam, Texas and temporarily adopted seven of our dogs that we had recently rescued from the Kerrville pound. The reason their adoptions are temporary is because they plan to adopt our dogs out at their newly established rescue shelter—Happy Dog Adoptions!

For months we have been talking back and forth to Catherine on how to do and what not to do and they did it! They arrived at 10:30 and they were excited and couldn’t wait to meet the seven lucky dogs! After meeting Catherine Zeta Jones, Kawliga, Antonio Banderas, Angelina Jolie, George Strait, Little Richard, and Ms. Toto—they fell in love with them!

Kinky was anxious and could not wait to meet Catherine and David, so following the canine introductions we went over to Kinky’s Lodge. Kinky greeted us at the gate, offered to make some coffee, then he made the coffee and then Kinky gave David and Catherine the “Grand Tour” of the Lodge. I could tell that he was greatly impressed with them as we were, because he gave David five or six of his new cigars from his new line of Kinky Friedman Cigars and he nearly talked Catherine’s head off.

Following the meet and greet, Kinky challenged David to a game of pool. Now that was funny. After he had explained to them that we call him “The Hummingbird Man,” he asked me to please hum everytime that it was his turn and so I did. After a lot of humming—David sank the eight ball, the game was over—Kinky had lost. I told David, “Around here we say, ‘”Beat Kinky once—Never play Kinky, again.” It brought a laugh and then they put up their sticks and we returned to the rescue ranch.

We invited them in for some coffee, which we forgot to drink at Kinky’s, and then Catherine signed the seven adoption forms. When it was time for them to leave, we went outside and loaded up seven happy dogs! As Catherine and David drove away I said to Tony, “This is so perfect! They are good people and Kinky likes them.”

Later in the day, Edward, an extremely polite photographer from England who was putting together a documentary, came out and shot me several times and then when Kinky arrived at the rescue ranch—he shot him, too! When the shooting was over Kinky’s friend, Jerome, Kinky and the shootist left the rescue ranch, but Kinky’s sister Marcie, and our friend Copper Love stayed so they could take a tour and visit with the dogs.

A couple of hours later, Marcie called and then Kinky called while I was in the process of taking a nap with my dogs. When I called Kinky, he told me that Copper wanted to adopt our giant Great Pyrenees / Catahoula mix—Macy! They were coming over now!

Tony and I went outside and climbed into “Kermit” our little green four-wheeler and drove down to Macy’s and Bob Dylan’s pen so Tony could put a new blue collar on Macy, along with her dog tags.

A few minutes later, our friend Dylan Ferrero arrived in his red pickup explaining that he had offered to deliver Macy to Copper’s house because Macy wouldn’t fit in “Ruby Tuesday”—Copper’s car. Then Kinky and Marcie arrived in “The Navigator”—Kinky’s car. Then Copper arrived in her little red Miata convertible! Adoption Time!

Without reading the form, Copper quickly signed it and then handed it to me so she could take Macy’s leash. I said, “Congratulations Copper! You just signed over your house and “Ruby Tuesday” to the rescue ranch!”

Following the handshaking ceremony, Copper loaded up Macy into the front seat of Dylan’s Truck and then Dylan and Macy left with Copper following right behind in hot pursuit!

Tony and I visited with Kinky and Marcie for a few minutes and there was a lot of laughing about getting a guest book and then they left for the Lodge.

Catherine called later that evening to report that all had gone well and the dogs were doing great!

And, as I finish writing Sunday’s story, on this Monday, Ben just called from Austin and left this message on the answering machine, “I’m sorry folks, but I am not going to be driving down to the ranch this evening as planned. I'm not feeling to good because I just got my ass whipped!”